The Complete Stories

Rejection Slips

a-Learned

Dear Asimov, all mental laws Prove orthodoxy has its flaws. Consider that eclectic clause In Kant's philosophy that gnaws With ceaseless anti-logic jaws At all outworn and useless saws That stick in modern mutant craws. So here's your tale (with faint applause). The words above show ample cause.

b-Gruff

Dear Ike, I was prepared

(And, boy, I really cared) To swallow almost anything you wrote.

But, Ike, you're just plain shot,

Your writing's gone to pot, There's nothing left but hack and mental bloat.

Take back this piece of junk;

It smelled; it reeked; it stunk; Just glancing through it once was deadly rough.

But Ike, boy, by and by,

Just try another try. I need some yams and, kid, I love your stuff.

c-Kindly

Dear Isaac, friend of mine,

I thought your tale was fine.

Just frightful-

Ly delightful

And with merits all a-shine.

It meant a quite full

Night, full,

Friend, of tension

Then relief

And attended

With full measure

Of the pleasure

Of suspended

Disbelief.

It is triteful,

Scarcely rightful,

Almost spiteful

To declare

That some tiny faults are there.

Nothing much,

Perhaps a touch,

And over such

You shouldn't pine.

So let me say

Without delay,

My pal, my friend,

Your story's end

Has left me gay

And joyfully composed.

P. S.

Oh, yes,

I must confess

(With some distress)

Your story is regretfully enclosed.

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