The Host (The Host 1)
"She doesn't say much," Jeb told him, "but you're welcome to try, kid. "
Jeb pried my fingers off his arm. When he was free, he turned his back to the nearest wall, leaning into it as he eased himself to the floor. He settled in there, fidgeting until he found a comfortable position. The gun stayed balanced in the cradle of his lap. Jeb's head lolled back against the wall, and his eyes closed. In seconds, he looked like he was asleep.
I stood where he'd left me, trying to keep my eyes off Jamie's face and failing.
Jamie was surprised again by Jeb's easy acquiescence. He watched the old man recline on the floor with wide eyes that made him look younger. After a few minutes of perfect stillness from Jeb, Jamie looked back up at me, and his eyes tightened.
The way he stared at me-angry, trying hard to be brave and grown-up, but also showing the fear and pain so clearly in his dark eyes-had Melanie sobbing louder and my knees shaking. Rather than take a chance with another collapse, I moved slowly to the tunnel wall across from Jeb and slid down to the floor. I curled up around my bent legs, trying to be as small as possible.
Jamie watched me with cautious eyes and then took four slow steps forward until he stood over me. His glance flitted to Jeb, who hadn't moved or opened his eyes, and then Jamie knelt down at my side. His face was suddenly intense, and it made him look more adult than any expression yet. My heart throbbed for the sad man in the little boy's face.
"You're not Melanie," he said in a low voice.
It was harder not to speak to him because I was the one who wanted to speak. Instead, after a brief hesitation, I shook my head.
"You're inside her body, though. "
Another pause, and I nodded.
"What happened to your. . . to her face?"
I shrugged. I didn't know what my face looked like, but I could imagine.
"Who did this to you?" he pressed. With a hesitant finger, he almost touched the side of my neck. I held still, feeling no urge to cringe away from this hand.
"Aunt Maggie, Jared, and Ian," Jeb listed off in a bored voice. We both jumped at the sound. Jeb hadn't moved, and his eyes were still closed. He looked so peaceful, as if he had answered Jamie's question in his sleep.
Jamie waited for a moment, then turned back to me with the same intense expression.
"You're not Melanie, but you know all her memories and stuff, right?"
I nodded again.
"Do you know who I am?"
I tried to swallow the words, but they slipped through my lips. "You're Jamie. " I couldn't help how my voice wrapped around the name like a caress.
He blinked, startled that I had broken my silence. Then he nodded. "Right," he whispered back.
We both looked at Jeb, who remained still, and back at each other.
"Then you remember what happened to her?" he asked.
I winced, and then nodded slowly.
"I want to know," he whispered.
I shook my head.
"I want to know," Jamie repeated. His lips trembled. "I'm not a kid. Tell me. "
"It's not. . . pleasant," I breathed, unable to stop myself. It was very hard to deny this boy what he wanted.
His straight black eyebrows pulled together and up in the middle over his wide eyes. "Please," he whispered.
I glanced at Jeb. I thought that maybe he was peeking from between his lashes now, but I couldn't be sure.
My voice was soft as breathing. "Someone saw her go into a place that was off-limits. They knew something was wrong. They called the Seekers. "
He flinched at the title.
"The Seekers tried to get her to surrender. She ran from them. When they had her cornered, she jumped into an open elevator shaft. "
I recoiled from the memory of pain, and Jamie's face went white under his tan.
"She didn't die?" he whispered.
"No. We have very skilled Healers. They mended her quickly. Then they put me in her. They hoped I would be able to tell them how she had survived so long. " I had not meant to say so much; my mouth snapped shut. Jamie didn't seem to notice my slip, but Jeb's eyes opened slowly and fixed on my face. No other part of him moved, and Jamie didn't see the change.
"Why didn't you let her die?" he asked. He had to swallow hard; a sob was threatening in his voice. This was all the more painful to hear because it was not the sound a child makes, frightened of the unknown, but the fully comprehending agony of an adult. It was so hard not to reach out and put my hand on his cheek. I wanted to hug him to me and beg him not to be sad. I curled my hands into fists and tried to concentrate on his question. Jeb's eyes flickered to my hands and back to my face.
"I wasn't in on the decision," I murmured. "I was still in a hibernation tank in deep space when that happened. "
Jamie blinked again in surprise. My answer was nothing he'd expected, and I could see him struggling with some new emotion. I glanced at Jeb; his eyes were bright with curiosity.
The same curiosity, though more wary, won out with Jamie. "Where were you coming from?" he asked.
In spite of myself, I smiled at his unwilling interest. "Far away. Another planet. "
"What was -" he started to ask, but he was interrupted by another question.
"What the hell?" Jared shouted at us, frozen with fury in the act of rounding the corner at the end of the tunnel. "Damn it, Jeb! We agreed not to -"
Jamie wrenched himself upright. "Jeb didn't bring me here. But you should have. "
Jeb sighed and got slowly to his feet. As he did so, the gun rolled from his lap onto the floor. It stopped only a few inches from me. I scooted away, uncomfortable.
Jared had a different reaction. He lunged toward me, closing the length of the hallway in a few running strides. I cowered into the wall and covered my face with my arms. Peeking around my elbow, I watched him jerk the gun up from the floor.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" he almost screamed at Jeb, shoving the gun into the old man's chest.
"Calm down, Jared," Jeb said in a tired voice. He took the gun in one hand. "She wouldn't touch this thing if I left it down here alone with her all night. Can't you see that?" He stabbed the barrel of the gun toward me, and I cringed away. "She's no Seeker, this one. "
"Shut up, Jeb, just shut up!"
"Leave him alone," Jamie shouted. "He didn't do anything wrong. "
"You!" Jared shouted back, turning on the slim, angry figure. "You get out of here now, or so help me!"
Jamie balled his fists and stood his ground.
Jared's fists came up, too.
I was rooted in place with shock. How could they scream at each other this way? They were family, the bonds between them stronger than any blood tie. Jared wouldn't hit Jamie-he couldn't! I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what to do. Anything that brought me to their attention would only make them angrier.
For once, Melanie was calmer than I was. He can't hurt Jamie, she thought confidently. It's not possible.
I looked at them, facing off like enemies, and panicked.
We should never have come here. See how unhappy we've made them, I moaned.
"You shouldn't have tried to keep this a secret from me," Jamie said between his teeth. "And you shouldn't have hurt her. " One of his hands unclenched and flew out to point at my face.
Jared spit on the floor. "That's not Melanie. She's never coming back, Jamie. "
"That's her face," Jamie insisted. "And her neck. Don't the bruises there bother you?"
Jared dropped his hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You will either leave right now, Jamie, and give me some space, or I will make you leave. I am not bluffing. I can't deal with any more right now, okay? I'm at my limit. So can we please have this conversation later?" He opened his eyes again; they were full of pain.
Jamie looked at him, and the anger drained slowly from his face. "Sorry," he muttered after a moment. "I'll go. . . but I'm not promising that I won't come back. "
"I can't think about that now. Go. Please. "
Jamie shrugged. He threw one more searching look at me, and then he left, his quick, long stride making me ache again for the time I'd missed.
Jared looked at Jeb. "You, too," he said in a flat voice.
Jeb rolled his eyes. "I don't think you've had a long enough break, to be honest. I'll keep an eye on -"
"Go. "
Jeb frowned thoughtfully. "Okay. Sure. " He started down the hall.
"Jeb?" Jared called after him.
"Yeah?"
"If I asked you to shoot it right now, would you do it?"
Jeb kept walking slowly, not looking at us, but his words were clear. "I'd have to. I follow my own rules. So don't ask me unless you really mean it. "
He disappeared into the dark.
Jared watched him go. Before he could turn his glower on me, I ducked into my uncomfortable sanctuary and curled up in the back corner.