A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper 1)

"That's very nice of you," she said, digging into a small purse woven from colorful Guatemalan cotton thread.

"Hi, Ray," Lily said, suddenly standing there beside him like some evil phantom who appeared out of nowhere to leech every potentially joyous moment out of his life.

"Hi, Lily," he said.

Lily clicked some keys on the computer. Slowed down by his freshly sprained face, Ray wasn't able to turn before she'd hit the power button on the monitor.

"What's this?" asked Lily.

With his free hand, Ray thumped Lily in the thigh under the counter.

"Ouch! Freak!"

"I'm sure you'll enjoy waking up with that," Ray said, handing the alarm clock to the woman who would be his queen.

"Thank you so much," said the lovely brunette goddess of all things Ray.

"By the way," Ray said, pushing on, "you've been in a couple of times, I was wondering, you know, because I'm curious that way, uh, what's your name?"

"Audrey. "

"Hi, Audrey. I'm Ray. "

"Nice to meet you, Ray. Gotta go. Bye. " She waved over her shoulder and headed out the door.

Ray and Lily watched her walk away.

"Nice butt," Lily said.

"She said my name," Ray said.

"She's a little bit - I don't know - unimaginary for you. "

Ray turned to the nemesis Lily. "You have to watch the store. I have to go. "

"Why?"

"I have to follow her, find out who she is. " Ray began to gather his stuff - phone, keys, baseball cap.

"Yeah, that's healthy, Ray. "

"Tell Charlie I - don't tell Charlie. "

"Okay. So is it okay if I switch the computer from the UGLY Web site?"

"What are you talking about?"

Lily stepped back from the screen and pointed to the letters as she read, "Ukrainian Girls Loving You - U-G-L-Y, ugly. " Lily smiled, a perky, self-satisfied smile, like that kid who won the spelling bee in third grade. Didn't you hate that kid?

Ray couldn't believe it. They weren't even being subtle about it anymore. "Can't talk," he said. "Gotta go. " He ran out the door and headed up Mason Street after the lovely and compassionate Audrey.

Rivera had driven up to the Cliff House Restaurant overlooking Seal Rocks and forced Charlie to buy him a drink while they watched the surfers down on the beach. Rivera was not a morbid man, but he knew that if he came here enough times, eventually he'd see a surfer get hit by a white shark. In fact, he sorely hoped that it would happen, because otherwise, the world made no sense, there was no justice, and life was just a tangled ball of chaos. Thousands of seals in the water and on the rocks - the mainstay of the white shark diet - hundreds of surfers in the water, dressed like seals, well, it just needed to happen for all to be right with the world.

"I never believed you, Mr. Asher, when you said that you were Death, but since I couldn't explain whatever that thing was in the alley with you, didn't want to explain, in fact, I let it slide. "

"And I appreciate that," said Charlie, showing a little discomfort at drinking a glass of wine with handcuffs on. His face was candy-apple red from having been burned by the pepper spray. "Is this normal procedure for interrogations?"

"No," Rivera said. "Normally the City is supposed to pay, but I'll have the judge take the drinks off your sentence. "