Gage (Men of Honor 1)

“You don’t mind if I join you do you? Since my husband died I’ve been so lonely and with no real friends here in town I’ve had to spend all my days eating alone which can become tiresome.” She lifted the menu from in front of me and gave me that smile that was beginning to make me sick to my stomach in a way that made me want to throw up.

Tracy opened her mouth to say something but I shook my head slightly. She was already here so what was the point? It didn’t take long for her true purpose in joining us to be revealed.

“Oh, isn’t Gage joining us today? There’s something I needed to speak to him about. Oh well, I guess it’s better if he comes to the house later. We always get more done that way without the distraction of others around.”

She never took her head out of the menu when she said this. “Oh, I thought Gage had stopped handling your account. Last I heard he’d passed you off to one of his subordinates. I can call and ask him if he’s willing to deal with you again.” I reached for my purse to extract my phone as I said this and she’d never know how much it took for me not to just expire right then and there.

The look on her face was well worth the effort though, she looked like I’d slapped her before she regrouped and opened her mouth to try again. “Oh here comes the waiter I’m starving, let’s order.” Lisa gave her a pointed look before closing her menu and looking over at the waiter’s approach.

I know from experience that Lisa, though the more timid of my two friends, can get very het up if she thinks one of her friends is being wronged. That’s how we’d become friends in fact, when she’d spoken up for me at a time when someone else was soft bullying me because of my quiet nature.

As I gave my order when it was my turn I realized that someone else has always been protecting me, speaking up for me. I use to tell myself that it was because I much preferred to just let things pass to avoid conflict but for the first time I realized it was because I never believed that I deserved any better.

Being beaten down by my own parents mentally I’d somehow grown into the habit of expecting the worst from others and more harmful, believing the worst of myself.

I didn’t even realize that things could or should be different until I went off to college and got out from under the disapproving gaze of my parents. It was then I came to see that not everyone treated their offspring like unwanted offal.

The first time I saw my roommate’s mom and dad hug her, clinging onto her who was not even their only child as if they didn’t want to let go I was flummoxed. My mother in law was the only other parental figure, other than my aunt Emma who I didn’t get to see nearly enough, that had made me feel the way I think all children should with their parents.

I’ve carried that attitude with me all throughout my life and it’s tough getting over it and accepting that I deserved better. Gage has been doing his best in the last year to show me in his own way and things had been going just fine until Donna stepped into the picture.

I realized as I felt her glare that I’d been ready to tuck tail and run, to just give up because I didn’t believe for a second that the enigmatic Gage could prefer me to her, it just didn’t seem plausible.

Now that I know Gage is most definitely on my side and had no intentions on leaving me for her, that he’d even sent his mother to lunch yesterday to protect me from her, had even joined us himself because he didn’t want me to suffer even a moment’s heartache, I felt way more self confident than I ever have before.

“Oh dear Holly, if you keep eating like that you’re going to lose that handsome husband of yours. He doesn’t strike me as the type to go for fat women.” She preened after ordering her lettuce and tomatoes with lemon juice. I’d ordered the tuna platter which is one of my favorite things to have here.

And then I did something I never thought I’d have the nerve to do in a thousand years. “He wants me to eat more since we’re trying to get pregnant.” Take that you witch!

* * *

GAGE

* * *

With work done for the first part of the morning I sat back in the chair behind my desk and rubbed a finger over my lip. I’d spent the morning between meetings giving serious thought to my next move with the widow. Then the phone rang and somehow I knew it was her before my assistant announced the call.