Out of the Ashes (Maji 1)

It felt good, it felt really good, but the pressure building in my core didn’t feel as good as it previously had, and I knew it was because my mind and heart wasn’t in it. This sex was not about my pleasure; it was about letting Kol’s instincts completely overtake him so he could come back from the edge and think rationally.

I cried out as an unexpected orgasm slammed into me, and I gripped Kol tightly when he tensed seconds later before his tipped his head back and roared. His hips jerked in violent motions as he came, and came hard. I pressed my forehead to his, making sure I kept myself as close to him as I possible could so all his senses were filled with me. My eyes were open, and I was staring at his closed ones with worry.

It took a couple of moments, but when Kol blinked he eyes open, I whimpered when I found them to be back to their beautiful, glowing, violet self. I cried, buried my face in Kol’s neck, and held him as tightly as I could. We remained that way for a few minutes, holding each other and not speaking. I pulled back to look at him when his softening cock slid from my body.

“I am so sorry,” I said, trembling. “So, so, so sorry.”

“Nova,” he rasped. “Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No, sweetheart, you made love to me. You did not hurt me.”

He looked terrified.

“Ezah?” he choked. “Did I—”

“He is well,” Mikoh’s voice shouted from outside. “Surkah is here with him. Welcome back, my friend.”

I felt the tension flee from Kol’s body but not entirely.

“You left me.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“Yes,” I whispered. “I did.”

“You’re my mate,” he said, firmly. “You do not leave me, not ever.”

“I won’t,” I swore. “Never again.”

“Why?” he asked, his voice tight.

I wept.

“Ezah didn’t want you to suffer a mate loss. He feared, because I’m human, that I will die and leave you. He thought he was helping you, so he instilled doubt in my mind about you with your fake intention, but it all just got way out of hand, and before we both knew it, we were flying away from Ealra. We quickly realised what we were doing, and we talked and set each other straight. We were wrong, we know. I’m so sorry.”

Kol stared at me as I spoke, and when he slowly lowered me to the ground without speaking, I feared he would go after Ezah again, so I wrapped my arms around his waist. He put his arms around my shoulder, and when I felt him kiss the crown of my head, I relaxed and let him go. I stood still while he tucked himself back into his pants, and then readjusted my clothes to cover me as best as he could with the rips he made.

“I lied to you repeatedly, so I played a big part in making you run. I know that’s what you do when you’re scared.”

Slowly, I nodded.

“You explained what a fated mate was horribly to me, Kol. You made me think you only wanted me because of my body.”

“I told you it was more than that!” he countered angrily. “You just didn’t listen.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”

“We’re mated, Nova,” he said firmly. “For the rest of our lives, you are mine and I am yours.”

“Yes,” I gushed. “I want that more than my next breath.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but I am going to give you what you previously asked for.”

I froze. “Which is what?”

“Space,” he answered, and it sounded like it was difficult for him to say it. “You requested to have space from me, and I’m going to give it to you. What I did was wrong. I kept another thing from you when I promised I would not. I know I hurt you, I felt your pain, and if what you need is space to … clear your mind and return to me with no more anger and worry, then that is what I am going to give you.”

My heart stopped.

“I don’t want that,” I choked. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Kol replied. “I never will, but right now, things are bad for us. You do not trust me to tell you truths, and I do not trust you not to run from me again.”

My heart beat a mile a minute.

“What will space do for us?” I questioned.

“Time for thought,” Kol answered. “We need this. I know he played a bad role, but my rage and fear at finding you gone sent me to the edge, and I nearly killed my brother this night because it that, Nova. My brother.”

I gnawed on my inner cheek.

“You’re right,” I said. “You’re totally right.”

“When you know you are ready to be together,” Kol said, his voice rough. “You come to me.”

“I won’t see you at all until then?” I asked, already hating this set-up.

“If you request to see me, then you will see me, but I hope you take the time you need to trust me once again. Now that I am thinking without fear of losing you, I know your trust will not return overnight like mine will not return overnight for you. For both of us, this will be a good thing.” He exhaled and shook his head. “I hope it will be because I’m going against every single instinct in my entire body, against everything I’ve even known, to make this possible.”

I pressed my forehead against his chest. “Okay, I’ll … I’ll come to you when I’m ready.”

Kol hugged me to his body. “I love you, shiva.”

I swallowed down a whimper.

“I love you, too.”

I was surprised when Kol released me and walked away from me. He headed down the ramp of the shuttle and out of sight without so much as glancing back at me. He was serious. We were taking time away from one another and giving each other space. When I felt like I was ready to put this shitstorm behind us, I would go to Kol … The only thing that now plagued me was what if it took a while for that to happen?

How long was too long for Kol to wait for me?

Eight weeks later…

For years, I roamed Earth by myself without nothing other than a handmade bow for company. I was content with my solitude, I accepted that it was vital for my safety, and thus, I accepted that I would never have any kind of relationship because of it. Then the Maji happened, and within the space of a week, my entire existence was turned upside down as I was whisked away to a new planet, a new life … a new beginning.

During those seven days, I fell in love.

I now know that people do the dumbest shit when they are in love. Like when you find out your husband was engaged to another woman, and rather than let him explain, you completely overreact and enlist his older brother to help you not only escape him, but the new planet he brought you to.

I still can’t believe I did that shit.

When I thought of how far I’d gone to get away from Kol, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I had to train myself to not just up and run at the first sign of trouble, and it proved to be rather difficult. For a long time, my entire life was running. If I didn’t run, I died, so I’d made running my main priority, and Kol got that. He got that before he entered my life I was alone and had no one, so from time to time, he knew I needed that space and time to myself that I was used to having before I became his mate. It was why he suggested we take a break from one another.

Not a break from our mating—that was impossible, we were mated for life—just a time out to put our ducks in a row, and time for me to mentally prepare myself for the change in my life that the first seven days of knowing Kol didn’t give me.

So taking some time to myself was exactly what I had done, and what I had learned from it was that I really, really, really … fucking really missed Kol. I missed him all of two seconds after we decided to take a break. After the first week of not seeing him at all, I was constantly emotional, but it gave me time to grow, to think, to reflect. After week four, I requested to see him because I just need to lock my eyes on his, to simply touch him. I was more than a little relieved when I saw he needed to see and touch me just

as much as I needed to see and touch him. When week seven rolled around, I wondered why I asked for space from him, but when I thought about what he done and still felt some emotion over it, I knew I needed to stay strong.

When I woke up that morning and realised it had been eight whole weeks since I came to Ealra and tried to leave Ealra, my heart decided that enough was enough. I didn’t need any more space. What I needed was my mate, and if either of us still had any hang-ups about what happened, we would talk it out and listen to one another and get through it together because we were stronger when united.

We were made for each other. Literally.

I planned on finding Kol and telling him in person rather than reaching out to him in my mind, but after multiple mornings of being sick and feeling tried and sore, I went in search of my sister-in-mate to find out if I had an illness that I should be worried about. I found Surkah in her wing of the palace, on her own, sewing. Sewing was kind of my thing now, too. I had done a lot of it over the past eight weeks, and it turned out that once I got the hang of it, I could make some pretty cute outfits. I wasn’t as skilled as Surkah, her mother, or even her aunt were, but I was getting there.

“Nova.” Surkah smiled when I entered the living area. “I didn’t know you were coming by to see me.”

“Yeah, sorry for just dropping in unannounced. I just wanted to ask you something before I find Kol.”

My sister-in-mate widened her eyes. “You seek Kol?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think we’ve had more than enough space from one another, don’t you think?”

Surkah abandoned her sewing, jumped up, and rushed to me and enveloped me into a heartfelt hug that made me boom with laughter.

“I am so happy,” she gushed.

“Me too,” I said. “I’m ready to put all the bad behind me and focus on my future with Kol. I love him.”

Surkah beamed with delight. “Why come see me? What was so important that you had to ask?”

“I have a problem.”

“Do explain.”

I huffed. “I don’t know where to start. I think I’m sick, but I’m not sure.”

“Sick?” Surkah frowned.

I nodded. “The past few days I’ve been getting sick in the mornings, and sometimes at night if I smell something bad. My breasts are tender, and I’m always hungry. I don’t know what to think other than I’m sick.”

Surkah stared at me, and I mean really stared at me.

“Do not play your human tricks, Nova,” she said, firmly.

“Huh?”

“What tricks?” I frowned. “You’re a healer. I’ve come to you for your help.”

Surkah didn’t respond to me. Instead, she reached forward, gripped the hem of my loose fitted torso wrap, and pushed it up until the material was bunched under my breasts. When she gasped, I felt my cheeks burn with heat.

“I was not used to eating before I came to Ealra,” I said in a rushed breath. “I eat every day now, and sometimes I eat a lot. I just gained a little weight. It’s not a big deal.”