Josh & Hannah (Redwood Falls 1)

Hannah’s mom began nodding her head in agreement. “David and Diana put an end to that, though, thank God. But I’m sure it left him emotionally damaged, you know?”

“Maybe,” Hannah answered, not ready to go that deeply into a discussion about Josh’s psyche.

“Putting all that aside for a moment, there’s something else I don’t think you know. We haven’t wanted to burden you with it, because we thought it would upset you, but I think that now you need to know.”

“Okay.” Was this going to be the big reveal for why Josh kept harping on their last names?

“Have you noticed how much time your brother has been spending in Dallas?”

Her brother had his business in Dallas but the ranch was so close that he visited often, having a house on the property as well. “Yeah, I guess. I know he’s gone a lot.” Where was this going and why had her mom switched the subject to Zach?

“Zachary’s marriage is on the rocks, Hannah.”

Hannah sucked in a breath as an arrow of pain for her brother shot through her. She didn’t like his wife Cindy, but she hadn’t known anything was wrong with their marriage. “I didn’t know.”

“It gets worse, baby. Cindy’s pregnant and Zachary is only waiting until the baby is born before he starts divorce proceedings.”

“Oh, no. Why … what happened?” Wow. So finding out she was going to be an aunt should have been a joyful event, but it was completely soured by the news she was hearing.

“Cindy’s been having an affair.”

Hannah’s mind began racing. “Is the baby Zachary’s?”

“He thinks so. It’s too dangerous to do a DNA test during the pregnancy, so he’s willing to wait until after the baby is born. But if it’s his, he’s going to divorce her and fight for full custody.”

“That’s so awful.”

“I know, sweetheart. He’s devastated and that’s the reason he’s in Dallas so much. I mean, he has his business to attend to, but he used to come home all the time.”

“I feel so bad, mom. I’ve been so absorbed in my life and school that I didn’t even notice anything was wrong.”

“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known.”

“Is Zach okay?”

“He’s holding it together. Just going through the motions, running his business and getting through one day at a time.”

Hannah took in a deep breath. “That’s good, I guess.”

“Are you going to ask me who Cindy’s been messing around with?”

The question hit Hannah right between the eyes and a dark foreboding enveloped her senses. It hadn’t even occurred to her to ask. Did she even want to know? “Who?”

“It’s Josh’s father.”

Feeling as if a giant fist had punched her in the chest, Hannah began shaking her head. “No.”

“Yes, baby.”

“No, that can’t be. I mean why? It makes no sense, mom.”

“What do you mean? I realize that Zachary is good-looking, my God, he looks just like his father, but … The Turner men are … equally good-looking. And Cindy is into looks. We know that much about her. Looks and money.”

“But what about Zach’s money? She seems too greedy to let Zach slip through her fingers. His business is … he’s going to be rich soon, right?”

“Oh, no question about that. He’s been doing really well, even before … but now that he has that wind generating contract in the works, it’s almost unfathomable how much money he’ll make. If that deal goes through, he’ll be filthy rich. And believe me, he won’t take Cindy back, no matter what. He’ll get custody; I know he will, because Cindy’s doing drugs, as well as cheating on him. That part is eating Zach alive, not being able to protect the baby.”

Hannah didn’t want to believe what she was hearing. “Are you sure it’s Josh’s dad she’s messing around with?”

“Yeah, we’re sure.”

“Does Josh know?” Even as Hannah asked the question, she realized that, of course, Josh knew of the affair. Now, all the things he’d said started to have meaning to her.

“We think so. We’re almost sure of it. The way he acted this morning with your father, some of the things that were said, made Jeff certain that Josh knows about the affair.” When Hannah heard her mom refer to her dad as ‘Jeff’, she knew how upset her mother was by all of this. Her mother always called him ‘your father’ or ‘your dad’.

“Oh, my God, I can’t believe this.” Hannah couldn’t wrap her brain around any of it. Not about the baby or the affair.

“Honey, do you realize what it took for that boy to come see your father knowing good and well that we know about the affair? It was absolutely remarkable, an exceedingly brave thing to do … and he only did it because he was so worried about you.”

Hannah almost told her mom what it had been like when Josh had held Jesse by the throat at the party. But that would instigate questions, and Hannah probably shouldn’t have gone to the party in the first place. “Josh is a good guy, mom. I don’t think this has so much to do with me, as with the fact that Josh would want to protect any girl from harm.”

“Maybe so, but either way, you needed to know all of this.”

“Okay. Should I … should I say anything to Zach?”

Her mother’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t think so. It wouldn’t help and you know your brother … he’d close up and you might get your feelings hurt in the process. We just need to stand behind him and be there for him in the months to come.”

“Okay.”

Hannah sat still while her mother searched her eyes. “You’ll let me know what’s going on with you?”

“Sure.”

“I mean with you and Josh.”

“Okay, I will, but there is no ‘me and Josh,” she denied as she thought about Josh’s mandate.

Her mom’s look became tender and she shook her head softly, back and forth. “Oh, sweetie, that’s what you think. There’s absolutely no way that boy will be able to stay away from you.”

****

In the days to come, Hannah pondered everything her mother had told her. She ached for her brother, and what he was going through. She tried hard not to despise Cindy, but it was difficult. She loved her brother, she always had and she always would. Even though he was quite a bit older than she was, she had always been raised to think of him as her true brother and not a stepsibling. They were, after all, the only siblings each had.

And she missed Josh. She missed everything about him, and she relived everything that had happened in the last few days over and over again. She relived his kisses repeatedly, and was so thankful that she’d had enough snap to memorize them as they were happening t

o her. And she didn’t even think to judge him for who his father was and what that man was doing. No, all she did was miss Josh and wish he’d never had to go through what he’d gone through when he was a child.

So Hannah looked for Josh in the days that followed, whether consciously or unconsciously, but she never saw him. She didn’t see him anywhere, and she looked for him everywhere she went, although she’d given up on stalking him during school. She and Ava went to the football game again the next Friday night because it was a home game, but Hannah didn’t see Josh and nothing exciting happened. It was as if he had gone missing; he had disappeared and her luck never turned.

And then one day, when she least expected it, and the last place she thought he would be, Hannah glanced up and there he was … in the back aisle of the small county library.

She had driven into town Saturday morning to grocery shop with her mom and had quickly gotten bored, so she wandered down Main Street to the public library while her mother finished up at the store.

The library was open, but deserted. The librarian was nowhere in sight.

She had been wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles when she heard a small noise. She turned around and gasped as she saw Josh leaning against the bookshelf, five feet away with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes zeroed in on her.

Chapter Six

Hannah immediately realized that she and Josh were the only two people in the building and her heart went crazy, but she stood completely still, trying not to hyperventilate. Josh stood against the bookshelf, his body lean, so very lean, and corded with muscles. His boots were dusty and his blue jeans looked soft and pliable, most likely from repeated washings. She felt a blush crawl up her face when she saw how the material clung to his thighs. His t-shirt was tight as well, the short sleeves clinging to his biceps. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath as she tried to steady her nerves. It had been too many long days since she’d seen him, and Hannah couldn’t help but remember the things her mom had said; the fact that her own mother thought that she and Josh were a couple, or soon to be one. That thought was blaring through Hannah’s brain as she studied him.