Dirtiest Secret (SIN 1)

He's a man with demons, and this is how he fights them. He knows that. He owns it.

I'm a woman with demons, and I've been searching for years for a way to fight back. Hiding behind a laundry list of crutches, everything from meaningless encounters, to a bad marriage, to pharmaceuticals.

Now here I am, naked and submissive in front of the man I've wanted my whole life, and I can't help but think that the weapon against my demons was him all along. And all those years I spent running the other way were wasted.

He puts his hands on my hips and starts to ease them up, the slow movement of his skin against mine making me crazy. When he gets to my breasts, he cups them, and they feel heavy in his hands, my nipples so hard and tight they are almost painful.

"Maybe I should take my hands away," he says. "Maybe I should punish you by not touching you. By making you crave, but never have. Is that what you want?"

I shake my head.

"Then tell me how to punish you," he says. "Tell me what you think you deserve."

I swallow, completely unsure. I have no idea what he expects. "Spank me?" I suggest, though it's hardly a punishment when the thought of his palm on my ass makes me wet.

For a moment, I think he's disappointed in my lack of imagination, but then his smile blooms. "Very appropriate. I've been thinking about turning your ass the same shade of pink as your cheeks when you blush for me."

"You've really thought about that?" Just the idea sends shivers through me.

"Baby, I've thought of a lot more than that. Come here."

He leads me back to the chair, and once he's sitting, he bends me over his knees. I've never actually been spanked before. Even when I tried kink with Brody, we didn't go there. But I've read about it. And I've wanted it.

Honestly, I've wanted it from Dallas.

But though I expect a smack on the ass, it doesn't come. Instead, he rubs my rear, then thrusts his fingers deep inside me. I moan at the unexpected intrusion and it feels so damn good I actually start to hump his fingers.

"That's it, baby," he says. "You're so close. So close to exploding for me. Can you feel me inside you? Can you feel how tight you are around my fingers? How much your clit throbs as it rubs against my slacks?"

His words only make this hotter, and I can feel him inside me, and my clit is so hard, so ready, and I can feel the tightening in my groin that signals a rising orgasm, and I'm right there, right there, right--

He pulls out his fingers and smacks my ass so hard that I cry out.

But I also come harder than I ever have. He thrusts his fingers back inside me and my core clenches around him, milking him, and yes, I do wish it was his cock, but this feels so damn good that right then I don't care. I just want more and more and more.

When the tremors fade, I am limp and exhausted. It's past two now, and I am spent. He lifts me up and very gently carries me to the bed. He pulls back the covers, puts me in, and then gets in beside me.

"I thought you were going to punish me," I murmur.

"Who said I was through with you?" He brushes my cheek and his touch is so gentle that I want to purr with pleasure.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?"

"For giving in. For playing my game. For this." I prop myself up on my elbow. "I missed you so much. My friend and my lover."

"Not your brother?" He says it simply, but I can hear the harshness.

I reach out and cup his cheek. "My brother, too. The whole package, Dallas. I just missed you. It's so unfair."

"It is," he agrees. "On so many levels."

"Dallas--" I know where his mind has gone. "Don't you get that it doesn't matter? I've never felt like this before. Sexual. Playful. Who else could I do this with? Be like this with?"

"No." He presses a finger to my lips. "If we're doing this--whatever this is--you need to really understand that I may never be able to fuck you the way I want. The way you need and deserve. And there's no pill, no medication, no special oil that's going to change that."

"I just told you it's okay. And it really is. But don't say never. We have a crazy history, I get that. But if you can do it with all those women, then--"