Sweetest Taboo (SIN 3)

"You don't need one," he said, stepping aside even as he made a mental note to change the lock. "Come in."

Her teeth grazed her lower lip as she crossed the threshold, her eyes darting quickly to his face and then back again. God, they were being so tentative with each other, and that awkwardness was killing him.

"How did you get past all the reporters camped outside?"

An actual smile flickered. "I guess they work bankers' hours. There was only one guy out there, and he didn't even look twice at me." She gestured to her scrubs. "Maybe he figured I was a doctor coming home late."

"Still, it was a risk coming here alone. There might have been more. They might have recognized you. Mobbed you."

"Some risks you have to take." She lifted her head, met his eyes. "Don't you?"

He couldn't take it any longer. He'd even shoved his hands into his pockets so that he wouldn't reach out and touch her. "Jane. Please. Why are you here?"

For a moment, she looked confused. Then a single tear spilled down her cheek. "Oh, god, Dallas. Where else would I be?"

"I don't know. With Brody. In a hotel. Anyplace but here with me."

"Did you think I could leave you? Really? Ever? Don't you know what we are to each other?" She flashed a mischievous smile. "Haven't you been paying attention?"

"I thought I'd screwed it up."

Again, she lifted a shoulder. "You did." She took a step toward him, and it was all he could do not to pull her closer, to hold her tight. "You did," she repeat

ed. "And you didn't."

He tilted his head, afraid to get his hopes up. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you," she said, her words filling his heart. "And I understand why you didn't tell me."

He tilted his head slowly to the side, surprised by this second simple statement. "Do you?"

She licked her lips, then told him about her conversation with their mom. About how Lisa was worried about Colin. "I wanted to tell her," Jane concluded. "I thought she deserved to know what you say he did. But I couldn't."

Her eyes were wet with tears. "She was so worried about why no one was able to find Colin, and I couldn't say a word to her. Because even the slightest hint that he had anything to do with our kidnapping would have killed her." With a sigh she shoved her hands into the pockets of her scrubs. "She would have blamed herself. She would have second-guessed her decision to marry him in the first place. Every decision she made over a huge chunk of her life. So I couldn't tell her. Not yet, anyway."

He stared at her, and then, very slowly, he nodded. "You do get it."

"Yeah, well, I'm still pissed."

"I wouldn't do it any differently if I had to do it all over again," he admitted.

"I know. I told you I get it. Just tell me one thing."

"Anything," he said, and he meant it.

"Are you absolutely certain about Colin? You have evidence? Solid evidence?"

"I told you we did." He spoke gently, because he knew the truth hurt her. But at the same time, he wasn't willing to sugarcoat it.

She nodded, hugging herself. "That's what you said before. I believe you--hell, I believed you then. But I don't want it to be true."

He moved closer, then gently tugged her hands free from her pockets and held them in his. "Do you want me to tell you?"

"I--no. I mean, yes. I have to hear it all. I know that. It's just..." She trailed off, then met his eyes. "There are so many things to say. Important things. Essential things."

"Jane--"

"But not now. I don't want to talk about any of it right now."