Shadowlands (Shadowlands 1)

“It’s a microscope,” I spat.

“Whatever. All I know is, it’s no wonder you’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Darcy!” my dad snapped. “That’s enough.”

Darcy shot me an acidic glare.

My mouth filled with a bitter taste. As desperate as I was to keep the secret about me and Christopher, there were times, like now, when all I wanted to do was throw it in her face. Prove that she wasn’t the only one with a life, the only one people found attractive, the only one who could take a chance.

As if on cue, my phone pinged with a text. I smiled slightly when I saw it was from Christopher.

Any updates?

Chris had texted a few times to check in on how I was doing. A couple of kids from the cross-country team had also reached out. They all had the same set of questions, questions they would never have asked if they actually stopped to think. Like Were you scared? or Did you think you were going to die? And my personal favorite, Did your whole life flash before your eyes?

No. No, it did not. What had flashed before my eyes were the things that were actually there. The leaves budding in the trees, the cloudy sky, the dirt under my fingernails. All I could think was, These are the last things I’m ever going to see. I was going to die in the woods. The very same woods where Darcy and I used to play Peter Pan and Pirates of the Caribbean. The same woods where I broke my arm when I climbed a tree to spy on Darcy and her first boyfriend. The woods where I used to steal away and read my mom’s ancient encyclopedias when Darcy’s teasing got so merciless I couldn’t take it anymore.

I hit reply.

Nope. Still trapped.

Then I tucked my phone back in my front sweatshirt pocket.

Darcy glanced at me sharply. “Who was that?”

“No one,” I said quickly, hoping my cheeks didn’t look as hot as they felt.

Messenger rubbed her eyes. “You haven’t told anyone about the security measures here, right?”

“No, of course not,” I said quickly, a defensive tone in my voice. I always did what I was told. For a horrible moment, I wondered if that was why Mr. Nell had picked me. Because I was so predictable, so organized, so easy to follow.

Messenger rocked back on her heels, holding her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Rory.”

My heart folded in on itself and clenched until it hurt. It was a new sensation, something that started after the attack, whenever I thought about Steven Nell.

“Look, guys, I understand that this is hard. I really do. I just need you to hang

in here a little longer. Can you do that for me?”

Messenger’s tone was earnest. But she didn’t get it. None of them did. They didn’t understand what it was like to run through the woods with a killer on your heels. The only person I wanted to be with, the only person I’d felt safe with since the attack, was Christopher. My heart gave another painful squeeze, and suddenly I felt claustrophobic, like I couldn’t breathe.

Screw it. I was going to call him. Darcy would never know. If she asked, I’d just tell her I was catching up with my lab partner. Then she’d definitely leave me alone.

“I’m going to my room,” I said, already clutching my phone inside my pocket.

I turned and took the stairs two at a time, my heart pounding with anticipation at the very idea of hearing Christopher’s voice. The upstairs of our house opened onto a wide landing with a skylight overhead. All five doors, which led to three bedrooms, a study, and a bathroom, were shut tight. I opened the first one on the right, the one to my room, and closed it behind me, leaning against the familiar wood. I tugged the phone out, but my hands were shaking so hard I dropped it on the floor. I left it there for a second and took a deep breath. I didn’t want to call him sounding all out of breath and hysterical. I needed to give myself a second to calm down.

I closed my eyes, and instantly thoughts of our first—and only—kiss flooded me. It was back when I was still tutoring him, before I started working with his little sister. We had been sitting at the desk in his room. I was on his cushy desk chair, because he’d insisted, and he was on a hard kitchen chair he’d dragged up the stairs. It was two inches shorter than mine, which put our faces about even. I’d been crushing on him for weeks, but he’d been Darcy’s boyfriend forever, and I’d done a pretty good job of controlling myself by reciting the periodic table or listing the presidents whenever I wanted to stare at him. For whatever reason, though, that night I couldn’t keep my gaze from traveling back to his face every five seconds. He’d gotten his hair cut, and for the first time I noticed the flecks of green in his brown eyes. It was hard to believe anyone that handsome actually existed in my school, and I suddenly felt so jealous of Darcy for getting to kiss him. She got to feel what it was like to be in his arms. She got to have him look at her like she was the only girl on Earth.

Then Christopher suddenly had a calculus breakthrough and he jumped up, cheered like he’d just hit a home run, and spun my chair around. I laughed and closed my eyes to keep from getting dizzy, which only made me dizzier. When he stopped me, I opened my eyes again and all I saw was his face as he brought his lips down on mine.

The second he touched me, it was as if something inside of me was released. Something I hadn’t even known was there. But still, I pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“I broke up with Darcy,” he blurted, breathless.

I felt like I’d just been tipped upside down. “What? When?”