Pure Sin (Privilege 5)

She found herself squeezing her water bottle and placed it back down on the floor. She stared down at her wet, cold fingers as Lexa and Maria peppered Soomie with questions about her and Jasper’s potential. Her face felt hot, and she realized, suddenly, that she had thought that Jasper liked her. Not that she would ever do anything about it. It was just kind of nice to feel special. But if he’d been treating Soomie the same way all along . . . then she wasn’t special at all.

But you’re special to Palmer. That’s all that matters, she told herself, feeling silly and more than a little bit selfish.

“You guys seem to hang out a lot, Ana,” Soomie said suddenly. “Has he ever mentioned me?”

Ariana bit her lip. “No, actually, he hasn’t.”

“Oh.” Soomie looked down at her lap.

“But that doesn’t mean anything,” Ariana said in a rush. “He’s a guy.”

The other girls looked at one another knowingly. That argument explained away all manners of behavior.

“Well, do you think you could talk to him?” Maria asked. “At least find out if he has a date yet. Then we’ll know if Soomie should even bother.”

Ariana swallowed hard. “Sure. I’ll talk to him.”

“Really? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Soomie said, flinging her arms around Ariana’s neck. “You’re the best, Ana.”

Ariana smiled as she hugged Soomie back. Somehow she couldn’t exactly see Soomie and Jasper as a couple, but if this was what her friend wanted, of course she would try to help her. No matter how bad an idea she thought it was.

“So, you’re doing okay?” Palmer asked Ariana on Wednesday evening, as they kicked back in what was now becoming their spot at the Hill. It was the comfiest suede couch with the best view of the river, so of course it belonged to the most admired couple in the school. Ariana cuddled into Palmer’s shoulder and slipped her arm around his waist, relishing the feel of his six-pack under his shirt.

“Oh, I’m doing just fine,” she murmured.

Palmer ran his fingers over the hair on the crown of her head, lifting it and dropping it over and over in a rhythmic way. He kissed her part, then rested his chin on top of her head.

“Are you sure? You’re not upset that you’re not going to have a chance to say good-bye?”

Ariana cringed. Right. He was talking about Grandma Covington. Why did she keep forgetting about that? It was kind of an important detail of Briana Leigh’s life.

“I’ve said good-bye in my own way,” she told him, infusing her voice with melancholy. “She didn’t want me to have to go to all the trouble of traveling home. That’s how she was. She always put me first.”

Ariana made all of this up off the cuff. If anything, in the brief time she’d seen Briana Leigh and her grandmother together, Grandma Covington couldn’t have cared less about what made Briana Leigh happy or comfortable. In that relationship, it was Grandma’s way or the highway, which was exactly how Briana Leigh had ended up on a plane to Atherton-Pryce against her will. But Palmer didn’t need to know that.

“Hey, guys! What’s going on?” Micah Granger said, lifting a hand as he passed by with some of his friends.

“Yo, Palmer!” Rob Mellon added, striding by with his arm around Tahira. “Halo in my room later. Time for me to whoop your ass.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see,” Palmer replied.

Tahira gave Ariana a wave as the couple headed out through the double door. Then a pack of junior girls walked in, glancing covetously at Palmer and giggling on their way to the coffee counter. Ariana smirked and cuddled closer to her man. This was where she was supposed to be. Palmer was the most popular guy on campus. Everyone adored him. All the guys wanted to be him, and now all the girls wanted to be her just because she was with him.

Ariana followed the girls with her eyes on their way to the coffee counter, just to make sure they knew she was not intimidated. But when she caught sight of Jasper standing on line, she flinched. He leaned back against the pastry case, his legs crossed at the ankle, and simply stared at her. He didn’t blink or look away when she caught his eye.

Even though Ariana detested being the first to break eye contact, she did. She turned her face toward Palmer’s chest and cuddled closer to him. She had no idea what Jasper was thinking, but she felt the need to let him know—right then and there—that Palmer was the guy she wanted. That this was the life she wanted. The life she had been working toward all these months as Briana Leigh Covington. And even all those years she’d lived as Ariana Osgood.

“Okay, what’s up with Lexa?” Palmer said suddenly.

Ariana’s heart dropped. She looked at the other side of the room, where she knew Lexa, Maria, and Soomie were sitting with a few of their sophomore hangers-on—Quinn as well as Jessica and Melanie. She watched as Lexa crumbled a disinfecting wipe, then snatched another from Quinn, who was holding it out to her. She scrubbed at her hands maniacally, as if she was trying to remove a permanent pen mark from her skin. Maria and Soomie were both eyeing her, clearly disturbed.

“What do you mean?” Ariana asked blithely, as if she saw nothing wrong, even though the pit of her stomach was turning inside out.

“She’s been acting kind of weird lately,” Palmer said, sitting up straight so that Ariana had to sit up, too. She picked up her coffee and took a sip, keeping an eye on Lexa. “I mean, that’s the fourth time I’ve seen her washing her hands today.”

Ariana gulped. “Really?” She grabbed a napkin from the table and touched it to her lips. “I don’t know. Hasn’t she always been a little bit cleanly? I mean her room is so organized, it’s like she’s practically OCD.”