Private (Private 1)

say this wasn’t a big deal?

“I have to go.” I started to walk again. He grabbed me again. “Let Taylor hovered behind him, uncertain. She held the fingers of

go of me, Thomas.”

one hand with the fingertips of the other and tried not to stare.

He stepped around me. Looked into my eyes. Somehow it hurt

“What?” Thomas said, having the gall to smile. “Someone has to

even more when he did that. He reached for my arms and I let him supply this stuff. It’s just a way to make some spending money.

touch me.

Chill out.”

“Reed, come on. You’re not mad,” he said, his palms cupping

Like he needed a way to make some spending money. His watch

my upper arms. His hands were warm. “You’re not. You love me,

was worth more than my car.

right? If you love me, you have to love everything about me.”

“Okay, Thomas, if it’s not a big deal, then why didn’t you tell I swallowed hard. I had never told him I loved him. He was

me?” I asked him.

standing there, in this awful moment, putting important words in

“Maybe because I knew you’d freak out,” he said, his expression my mouth. Throwing them around as a means to an end. How could

darkening. “You’re so good, Reed. I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t.”

he do this to me? I had given myself to him. Given him all of me.

“Well, lying is really going to help your case there,” I said.

And he had been lying to me the entire time. Who the hell was this Suddenly I realized this wasn’t the only thing he had lied to me person? “Thomas—“

about. “Your phone. The cell phone that you lost that you were so

“What? You’re not . . . ,” he scoffed, stepping backward. “You’re worried about. It’s not your parents’ phone, is it?”

not breaking up with me over this.”

His jaw clenched. “No. It’s not.”

I looked at him, feeling desperate. Feeling used and dirty and

My heart felt like it was going to beat itself to death. “It’s the stupid and wrong. I just wanted to get away from him. I just wanted phone they call you on, right? Your clients? And, what? Your suppli-to get away and think.

ers, too? Is that why you were so freaked?”

“I don’t know,” I said.