Strong Enough (Meet Me in Montana 4)

Once all the celebrating was done, I headed back to the hotel in the chauffeured car that Wrangler, one of my sponsors, had arranged for me. I was exhausted and ready to crawl into bed so I could catch an early-morning flight back to Montana. Plus, I was anxious to see my folks, as well as Hunter, Morgan, and Blayze, and the rest of the Shaw clan.

“Mr. Littlewood, we’re here,” the driver said.

I opened my eyes and looked around. Crap, I was for sure tired if I fell asleep on the drive over to the hotel.

“Thanks, Pete.”

“No problem. What time should I pick you up tomorrow morning?”

“Um, I have an early flight. Don’t worry about picking me up. I’ll grab an Uber to the airport.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

With a smile, I opened the door and said, “I’m sure. Have a good one!”

“You as well, Mr. Littlewood.”

After I shut the car door, I headed into the hotel. The doorman held open the door for me, and I gave him a polite smile and a hello. The bar was off to the right, and normally I’d make my way in, check everything out and, if I was lucky, end up in someone’s bed. But that hadn’t happened since I was with the blonde back in Tacoma two weeks ago.

Shit. What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I was burnt out on sex. Was that actually a thing?

I shuddered at the thought and then laughed as I pressed the Up button on the elevator. As I stood there, I couldn’t help but notice someone walk up next to me. With a quick glance, I saw a pretty blonde standing there. She had on a tight-as-hell pink dress with her cleavage on full display.

Say something to her, Dirk. Flirt. Make a comment about anything. Do something. Speak, goddammit.

I wasn’t even sure why it mattered that I had zero interest in this woman, or that I had no desire to come on to her. Something about that scared me, though. It was unsettling that for so many years I thought nothing about needing to be buried inside a woman to forget everything else. Suddenly, that seemed like the very last thing I wanted to do.

She glanced my way and smiled. I smiled back and tipped my cowboy hat at her.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know I was good-looking. As arrogant as that was, I knew it to be true. I worked out every day, ate mostly healthy, and prayed like hell a bull didn’t step on my face. Getting women had never been a problem for me. I liked women. No, I loved them. The only problem was, I used sex like therapy sessions. I thought if I slept with enough women it would make me forget about the one I’d lost.

And it wasn’t Kaci I was talking about, either. It was Merit.

Merit Eden. The woman whose name was on my lips when I dreamed.

The elevator doors opened, and the blonde and I both stepped in. I pushed my floor, and she pushed hers. We were two floors apart.

“It was a nice day out today, wasn’t it?” she asked.

Normally I would take the bait and things would progress quickly and I’d have her in her hotel bed within the next five minutes. But all I did was nod and give her a quick reply. “Yes, it was.”

She looked away, and we stood there in silence until the door opened and she walked out. She gave me a quick glance over her shoulder, and I simply smiled and said, “Enjoy your evening.”

The doors shut before I could see the look on her face.

I took off my cowboy hat and sighed. “Holy shit. It’s true. I’m broken. Something is wrong with me,” I mumbled. The doors to the elevator opened, and I stumbled out and down the hall to my room.

Once inside, I shut the door, tossed my hat onto the table and pulled out my phone.

I pulled up Brock’s number and stared at it. Brock had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. He was one of four brothers in the Shaw family, and they had always made me feel like I was a part of them. The last few years, I’d seen Brock and his other brothers all fall in love and settle down. Brock and Lincoln had three kids. Ty and his wife, Kaylee, were expecting their first child, and Tanner and his new bride, Timberlynn, would probably be popping out a baby soon as well.

Beck Shaw, the second to youngest of the brothers, had died while on a mission in the Marine Corps a number of years ago. That one about broke us all, me included.

Those boys were my family, and even through all of our ups and downs, I loved seeing them so happy. Yet, it had begun to get harder and harder for me to head home. It felt like a part of me was missing something every time I saw them. Seeing Brock so damn happy in his life back home in Hamilton, I couldn’t deny at times I wished I had that life as well. Although I’d never admit that to any of them.