Nate
If he found out later in life…
No.
I couldn’t go there either. That was another bank vault of emotions I couldn’t deal with. Well, I wouldn’t because I was here to hopefully snuff this fire out before it got any hotter.
Valerie wanted me to find him, to tell him, and I would do that.
But seriously, Val, why didn’t you ever tell him? It would’ve saved so much heartache for so many.
The waiter came over, sliding two drinks on the table between us.
He’d ordered a drink for me.
“I need a shot.”
The waiter had started to leave, but he looked back. “Of course, miss.”
“Two!” I barked out. “Two shots.” I tried to soften the demand. “Please.”
The waiter’s eyes flickered before he nodded. “Two shots, miss. Of course.”
I was going to wait for the shots before I said anything.
I wasn’t going to notice how Nate was so much more in person than he was in any photograph or social media feed.
So very much more.
I really wasn’t noticing how he had a little scruff on his jaw because he hadn’t shaved yet, or how I knew he’d feel like sandpaper in all the right places.
I was looking away, but I could feel him watching me not watching him.
I was hot and bothered, and in my profession, you didn’t get ruffled. You were smooth. You glided. You were sensual and tender, but strong and fierce. You hid the strong and fierce. I wasn’t hiding today. I was feeling all of my emotions, all at once and in full force, and that was making me feel even more.
I needed to calm down.
I needed to be like ice, so I went where I was always pristine and put together in my mind.
I was on the stage with the crowd sitting behind the spotlights.
It was me, the music, and my body.
Everything and everyone was pushed out.
I was bending. I was soaring, dipping, twisting, and I was rounding out on a perfect arabesque. And all the while, it was only the music and me.
It was working.
I went through an entire dance routine in my head before the waiter came back with our drinks.
Two shots were placed in front of me.
I immediately took both.
His eyes lit up, and he leaned back in his booth.
Waiting me out.
My eyes met his. It was the first time I was looking at him straight on since we slid into the booth. Well, it was the first time I was looking right at him since I walked into the bar, and simply put, he took my breath away.
Now he was seeing me better, and some of the amusement faltered.
He frowned, just a slight bit.
He was cluing in. This wasn’t a social call where he was going to get laid. That was what he’d been thinking. I wasn’t another of those girls who were still here. They hadn’t moved on. They were at his vacated table, and they were whispering, watching us. They were holding on, still waiting for him.
They lived in that world, his world. Not my world.
All the more reason to get done with what I came here to do.
Time to rip off the Band-Aid.
“You had a relationship with Valerie Robertson?”
His lips thinned. “Yes.”
Time to tell him the first part.
I leaned forward, slamming a protective wall around me because this was going to hurt both of us.
And I told him.
“Valerie was my half-sister. She’s dead.”
5
Nate
Her words were a gut punch. I felt the blow.
I sucked in my breath instead, feeling the sting and pain slice through me.
Valerie.
Jesus.
I’d just been thinking about her.
I was reaching for my bourbon, needing the burn, when I heard the rest from her.
The rest that I wasn’t at all prepared to hear.
“She also had a daughter, who’s yours.” A piece of paper was laid out on the table, and she slid it over to me. “This is her birth certificate.” She pointed at a line. “As you can see, Valerie named you as your daughter’s father. Valerie left me part guardianship. We had you investigated, and Carl reported that you didn’t seem to be living a lifestyle where you would want to be tied down with a child. Because of that”—she slid another piece of paper to me—“I’d like you to sign over your parental rights, and we can all continue with our lives after this.”
It happened in slow motion.
She had a daughter…
Who’s yours…
I heard her. I saw her lips moving, but there was a pulse in the air. A beat. I heard it. I felt it.
The world was falling away, lessening, and it was me hearing a break in my life.
It was a crack.
I felt everything shift.
The left turned to right. The right, left.
I was spinning on an axis. Round and round.
Everything stopped. Paused.
Everything was frozen in motion. Because now the words she was saying were real.
Another thump.
From in my chest.