Do You Want Me Part One (This Love Hurts 0.5)

Ever since college, we don’t go long without a call between us. It’s been nearly two weeks, the longest that I can remember, and the realization makes my empty stomach sink. I’ve been too preoccupied with Cody and work.

Pressing the brew button and listening to the water heat up in the coffee machine, I write out a quick text to her:

Off today and tomorrow. When are you free to meet up?

After I press send, a deep crease finds itself in the center of my forehead. I have twelve unread messages and two missed calls. Both of them from Claire. No voicemail left.

Swallowing thickly, I go through each of the messages.

I’m so sorry.

They’re such assholes.

Are you okay?

You need to call me.

The texts vary from coworkers to family members. I’m confused about most of them, not writing back a response until I know what the hell is going on.

A text from Aaron includes a link to an article. Written by Jill Brown’s associate. The opening paragraph makes my jaw drop and it’s then that the coffee machine sputters, announcing the hot cup of coffee is ready.

As if a cup of coffee could fix this.

I wondered what they’d write about and of course I’d give these assholes ammunition to keep the negative press running.

With my fingers going numb, I read the entire article in record time, feeling the anger rage inside of me. They bring up my father and his old cases, which is infuriating. His career has nothing to do with mine.

Worse, they bring up my relationship with Agent Walsh. Questioning if either of us were fit for the case given our romantic relationship. As if we were in one back then.

Can Miss Jones’s judgment be clear while pursuing a romantic relationship on the field? The first case that went cold was with him and since then a series of murder investigations have led to no arrests. Those cases are worked by both the woman in question and Cody Walsh of the FBI.

I feel fucking sick to my stomach. Dropping the phone to the counter, both of my elbows hit the granite and I bury my head in my hands.

My father’s integrity as a lawyer has never been questioned. Oddly enough, Patterson isn’t mentioned and I wonder if he had a heads-up on the story. If maybe he even leaked the information about Cody and me.

Rubbing what little sleep remains from my eyes, I process everything again, breaking it down bit by bit in between swigs of coffee. Claire is going to be pissed. She’s going to be furious.

But the facts remain the same: they’re running a story because I’ve been notable recently, even if in the past there were a number of cases that ended up going cold. A pissed-off criminal lawyer, fairly inexperienced and working for the Assistant Attorney General… they were given one comment I made on the street and they ran with it, letting imagination get in the way of facts.

Internally, I prepare my response to Claire.

I didn’t make the press by losing cases. The media has focused on the fact that so many of my cases don’t have enough evidence to even go to trial. Cases that they plaster everywhere and then demand justice. They want someone behind bars. All the cases are murder investigations. At least the ones mentioned in the article are and those are the ones that require me to work with Walsh. Mostly against crime organizations that are established and difficult to penetrate.

They aren’t the only cases that matter, but they bring in the most headlines, and higher ratings on the news.

They want someone to pay, and they thought going after my family’s history in murder trials and my romantic relationship would paint me as a villain. As someone incapable of performing her job. Worse still, they question my intentions for this position. The last lines of the article imply I have ulterior motives. That I don’t want the cases to go to trial because like my father, I’m protecting murderers, the mob, and serial killers.

With shaking hands, I reach for my phone, desperate to get in touch with Walsh. This is bullshit. I’ve never been so angry in my life.

I worked tirelessly to get here. I’ve dedicated every waking hour to pursuing the same assholes they want to see locked up. It’s one thing to not be good enough, it’s another to have your intentions questioned.

As I hit the call button, two things happen at once.

I get an email from Claire that I read while I place the call on speaker, listening to the ringing:

We’re issuing this statement in response to the article and you have a mandatory one-week paid leave while we investigate. Lay low, and stay out of the press.

See the attached document.

Investigation? Really? I don’t expect to feel betrayal, but I do. The attached document is a defense for me but it’s short. I don’t know what else I could expect. The statement is merely them covering their ass.