This Love Hurts (This Love Hurts 1)

It’s not until I get to the entrance of the garage, standing just before the concrete stairs that will take me to my car that I ask him, “When did I become a damsel in distress? Not once have you walked me home. Not one goddamn time!” The spite in my voice surprises us both. The hurt in my chest lingers and I struggle with what I’ve just said.

“I would have taken you home if you’d asked.”

“I didn’t and I’m not now,” I answer, turning away from the hurtful look in his pale blue gaze.

“Why are you so pissed?” he asks. “I’m sorry I kissed you in there. I get it. You want this to be low key and—”

“This?” I say, cutting him off, not hiding my shock and irritation. “What is this, Cody? Because you slept with me, which I initiated, I take that on, I get that. But then you left without a word and ignored me repeatedly. It would have been fine if it went back to normal. So what exactly is this?”

“I don’t know,” he says and his demeanor changes, like he’s struggling between remaining a guarded wall or giving me a look like he’s a wounded puppy dog. If he wasn’t so handsome, it would be pathetic. But as it stands, the look makes it difficult to stay angry.

“You don’t know and I don’t know either, but you don’t get to make a public statement because I fucked you one time. My career is more important to me. The way they see me in there matters,” I say and throw my hand up, pointing at where the bar is down the street. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

I don’t know how to respond, so I cross my arms, letting his apology sink in. I’m grateful for it, but damn am I hurt and still pissed, even if that emotion is waning.

“I don’t know how to do this, but I want to talk.”

Now he wants to talk? “Not tonight; I have to work. I had a shit couple of days. I just need to go home.”

“Then let me take you home,” Cody offers, ever the gentleman and I can at least respect that but I’m not exactly ready to just let it all go. I can’t just let it go. Ignoring me, ghosting me, and then getting all touchy-feely with me in the bar? He could have handled this any other way than how he did. I suppose I could have too, but I’m too tired, too overwhelmed, and too pissed off to think about it right now.

“I can take myself. I’m fine.” The bitter note in fine is the cherry on top of this shitty night. I shake out my hands, trying to let it all go before digging in my purse for my keys.

“I know you’re still mad. I’m good at pissing people off.”

The confession tumbles out of me before I can stop it. “I wonder if you’d have even come over to me if someone else hadn’t hit on me.” Shit. It hurts to say it out loud. I could have left and he wouldn’t have even said hello to me if someone else wasn’t scouting out his territory. My hands go clammy. It would have been easier to just ignore him and go about my night. Why the hell did I let him get to me? Why did I go after him when I knew it wasn’t going to work?

“That’s bullshit,” he says and his conviction makes me doubt myself.

Lifting the strap to my purse higher up on my shoulder, the keys still not found, I question him, “How would I know? You didn’t message me. You couldn’t even look at me. Was it really that bad?” I’m proud that my voice doesn’t break out loud like it does in my head. “No one likes to be ignored. Especially not by a man I just slept with this past weekend.”

“Don’t do that,” he says. Cody’s voice is comforting but I don’t fall for it.

“I’m not your problem, so I can do anything I want, Agent Walsh.” I’m close to turning away from him when he takes my elbow in his grasp and before I can object, places something in my hand.

“I was texting you this,” he says and closes his hand around mine, forcing me to take his phone. “Just read it. All right?”

“I don’t want to read a text when you could have sent it and didn’t.” My annoyance does nothing but fuel him to stare me down until I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Just read it.”

Finally, I look down at the phone, if for no other reason than to appease him enough to let me leave. The bright screen lights up and I see he’s brought up his messages between the two of us. It’s a long message that he’s referring to, one left unsent. I have to scroll up and when I do, I accidentally hit send. Shit. I guess it doesn’t matter if I’m reading it anyway. Letting out a slow breath and ignoring the squeal of tires from someone leaving on the opposite side of the mostly vacant garage, I start to read the message Cody thinks is going to change my mind.