Wicked as Lies (Wicked & Devoted 3)

“Don’t be. Even if you hadn’t looked at me like that, I still would have wanted you.”

Not looking at him hurt too much. It reminded her of what life would be like when he was gone. And every moment she couldn’t see him was just a moment sooner to miss him. “What do we do?”

He shook his head. “The colonel gave me a talking-to the other night. If we let anything happen, we’ll both be fired.”

Fear seized her chest. “I need this job.”

She was barely making ends meet as it was, thanks to Cash still not paying child support. The cost of daycare was going to put her at the edge. If she couldn’t keep this job… Well, no one else would be willing to pay her this salary when she hadn’t finished college and didn’t have a lot of good-paying job experience.

“Same. I didn’t leave my last job on the best of terms, and Trees helped me get this gig. If I screw it up…”

She nodded. “Then…you should go.”

It killed her to say that. Zy leaving was the last thing she wanted, but Tessa didn’t see a choice.

She tried to tell herself it wouldn’t be horrible. After all, no one was dying, and they’d see each other in a few hours at the office. But she already knew nothing between them would ever be the same. They’d go from essentially living together to being little more than strangers. She wouldn’t know what he ate for dinner every night, how he passed his time, or if he’d slept well. No sharing thoughts first thing in the morning. No spending their evenings with each other and a good sitcom. No feeling safe because he was in her life and under her roof. He would be gone, and she would again turn on the TV simply so the sound of silence didn’t make her feel lonely and lost.

“Yeah.” Slowly, he peeled his hands from the island, as if it was the last thing he wanted to do. Then he backed away, lifted his duffel, and fastened his stare on her again.

His blue eyes pierced her with regret. They would haunt her after he’d gone.

“It will feel weird here without you. I’ve gotten so used to you being around.”

He nodded. “It will feel weird to be alone in a new place. But I’ll see you tomorrow at the office. And if Cash makes bail this week and returns to give you hell, you have my number.”

She could also call the police since she knew now they would, in fact, arrest him. At least sometimes. “Sure.”

“All right. I’m going to…um, go.”

Damn it, her heart felt like it was breaking. Tessa wanted to throw her arms around him and stay here with him just a minute longer… But after that minute passed, she would still lose him…and it would only hurt more.

Tessa forced herself to nod. “Bye.”

He swallowed and cupped her cheek. At his touch, she closed her eyes and couldn’t stop herself from nuzzling into his hand.

“God, you look so fucking beautiful, and I want you so bad. Look at me, baby.”

It was the last thing she wanted to do because it brought them one step closer to goodbye, but she lifted her gaze to him because she couldn’t help herself. Her heart twisted. “What?”

“Do us both a favor, okay? Don’t let yourself be alone with me. Ever. Promise me.”

How was she supposed to give him the words that would put the final nail in their coffin? “Zy—”

“You have to,” he prompted. “If you don’t… I’ve run out of strength. It’s taking all my will to leave you now. If you give me another chance, I will strip you down, touch every soft, sweet curve you have, and take you in every way possible. I won’t give a fuck who knows. And we’ll crash face-first into catastrophe. Don’t let that happen.”

She didn’t want to give him that promise. Of course, some part of her would love to throw caution to the wind. But she was a new mother, and she had to think of Hallie first. Of providing for her daughter. Plus, Zy’s expression said he needed her to be strong for both of them right now.

With her eyes swimming and her heart splintering, she nodded. “All right. I promise.”

“Good.” But his face said he was devastated. Then he blanked it and nodded. “See you around.”

April 7

At the beginning of their second workweek together, Tessa glanced over at Zy as he stood from his desk to head to their last-minute nine a.m. meeting.

Ahead, Trees made a cup of coffee. Cutter’s and Josiah’s desks were already empty. She’d seen One-Mile slink to the conference room earlier.

Across the office space, Zy met her stare. Looking at him hurt. She missed him. Worse, she still saw the same longing she felt reflected on his face. But they’d both behaved like professionals in the office.