Avenging Angel (Pounding Hearts 5)

It explains so much about Casey, and all the little things that have been bothering me. His anger… the way he carries himself at times like he’s a little man and not a child. He’s been through so much, at such a young age.

My heart aching and on the verge on breaking, all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. To be there for him. To offer what support I can give.

But do I even have a right? Do I have a right to insert myself into his life? Especially when I have no intention of staying?

Feeling sick to my stomach, it’s everything I can do to pretend to be interested in the movie, but I try, for Casey. Sitting beside him on the couch, I try to share his excitement every time one of his favorite superheroes comes on the screen. I eat all the popcorn he shares with me. I even cheer with him during the big action scenes.

About halfway through the movie, he begins to lean into me. Somehow his head ends up on my shoulder. Afraid to move, afraid it will cause him to pull away, I freeze in place. Ten minutes must pass before I work up the courage to relax and accept his weight.

Another ten minutes or so passes with Casey leaning against me before Emmett motions for me to look over at him.

Glancing over, I see Casey sleeping.

He fell asleep on me.

So many emotions well up inside me, but I think the strongest one of them all, the one that feels the best yet hurts the most, is knowing that he trusts me.

Standing from the recliner he was sitting on, Emmett walks over to me.

“I’ve got him,” he says quietly before bending down to pick up Casey.

I don’t want him to take Casey away from me, selfishly I want to keep him next to me all night, but seeing Emmett lift him up into his arms, cradling him carefully, I find myself feeling at ease. Just the way he holds him leaves no doubt in my mind that Casey is cared for and safe.

Standing from the couch, I follow behind Emmett as he carries Casey to his bedroom. Halfway there, Casey seems to stir a little, his arm dropping, dangling at his side, as he murmurs something.

All it takes is a few whispered words from Emmett and Casey is curling into him, falling back to sleep.

Heart in my throat, I watch from the doorway as Emmett lays Casey on his bed, removes his shoes, and tucks his little body under the covers. Before he straightens, Emmett takes a moment to tenderly brush Casey’s hair back from his forehead.

And the look in his eyes…

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

It’s love incarnate.

Then he’s facing me.

And that look doesn’t disappear.

For a heartbeat, I let myself imagine that look is meant for me. I let myself indulge in the fantasy that he cares about me and loves me.

To be loved by him… to be cared for and protected by a man like him… What a life that would be…

Then I shove it far away.

As Emmett approaches, eyes still locked on my face, I retreat into the hallway. Seeking cover in the darkness. Hoping all my emotions aren’t out in the open. And if they are, hoping he doesn’t see them.

Without looking behind him, Emmett grabs the handle for the door and closes it quietly.

Still retreating, the urge to run, to hide from him comes over me. Even in this dim lighting, I can see that look in his eyes hasn’t faded. If anything, it’s grown in intensity.

“I should probably go,” I stammer out nervously.

Emmett’s voice is a quiet rumble in the dark as he says, “You probably should.”

In any other situation, I’d take that remark as an insult or a sign that I’m not wanted, but the way he says it, the way he keeps stalking toward me, it’s clearly a warning.

A warning that what I’ve been afraid of all night, what I’ve been avoiding is about to happen.