From Ashes (From Ashes 1)

“What?” I all but growled.

“Oh, uh . . . sorry? Did I interrupt something?”

Glancing at the screen, then back to the road, I brought the phone back up to my ear and sighed. “Sorry, Cara, thought you were my cousin. What’s up?”

She giggled and paused before continuing. “Well, I know it’s not Monday or Wednesday, but I’m leaving to go home for break tomorrow and I was thinking we could get together . . .” She trailed off suggestively.

Thoughts of Tyler’s arms wrapped around Cassidy’s waist as she watched me open that picture flashed through my mind and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. “I’ll be at your place in ten.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at it slightly. Cara was one of the girls I’d been seeing since I started hanging around Cass again. Seeing might be the wrong term, since we never did anything outside of a half hour in the bedroom. Once I realized that Tyler wasn’t full of shit and they were actually together, I’d stopped waiting for a girl who would never be mine and did the one thing I knew would piss Cassidy off more than anything. I slept with every damn girl who was the exact opposite of her. Including Brynn. Tall, red or blond hair, and any eye color other than the golden honey of Cassidy’s eyes, and I was game.

It’s not like I rubbed it in her face; in fact I knew she didn’t have a clue about it, and I wanted to keep it that way. I secretly hated what I was doing . . . I was disgusted with myself but I couldn’t stop. I wanted to forget her, forget the way her small frame felt beneath me and curled up in my arms.

Pulling up outside Cara’s apartment, I hopped out of my truck and made my way to her door. She opened it before I could knock and stood there in black lacy underwear and bra, holding up a foil packet between her index and middle finger with a satisfied smirk or her face. After I grabbed the packet from her, she took my hand and walked me back toward her room, shutting and locking the door once we were in. She turned and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing my face down to hers, but I removed her arms and pushed her back toward the bed. I couldn’t stop the roll of my eyes when she pouted but kept from saying anything; she knew how it was, and the fact that she was trying to change it just made me know nothing could happen between us after tonight. No kissing, and no holding each other after. The only two things I’d done with Cassidy, and I couldn’t bring myself to do them with anyone else now.

Cara’s pout turned into a hungry grin when I shed my clothes and rolled the condom on. Crawling onto the bed with her, I pulled down her underwear and threw it to the floor before sliding into her. My groan was matched by hers and I had to force my eyes back open before I could get lost trying to picture Cassidy beneath me. I’d made that mistake once already with a girl, Hannah, and the impressively forceful slap I’d received across my face from saying Cass’s name as I came served as a reminder to always keep my eyes open.

An hour later I was back at my place and taking a scalding hot shower, trying to wash away everything Cara. Cassidy’s sweet face when she told me she had a present for me kept flashing through my mind, making me feel even more nauseated over what I’d just done. I was drawing a blank as to why I was still trying to push her out of my mind this way, since it obviously wasn’t working. And God, if she ever found out, I knew she’d never look at me the same way again. The thought of her looking at me with the disgust I already felt had my gut churning even more and I had to steady myself against the wall when I felt like I was going to lose my dinner.

“God, what the hell is wrong with me?” I said out loud. “She doesn’t even want me.”

Shutting off the water, I stepped out of the shower and had just haphazardly tied a towel around my hips when my phone beeped. I cringed at the thought of Cara asking me again to be exclusive when we got back from break. I’d thought it earlier, but knew it for sure now: there was no way in hell I could see her again after tonight. Warily, I picked up my phone and let out a relieved yet strangled breath when I saw Cassidy’s name.

CASSIDY

I’m really sorry you didn’t like the picture. You told me it was your favorite spot on the ranch, and I realized I’d taken a picture of it at some point that week when we got back . . . I just thought . . . Well anyway, like I said you don’t need to keep it. I hope you have a good Christmas and New Year, see you when you get back?

What was I supposed to say to that? I wanted to ask how she could possibly think that was something I’d want to remember. I wanted to tell her I loved it just so she wouldn’t feel like I hated something she’d given me. I wanted to say the part I didn’t like was that she had gone back to Tyler like she always had, and I wanted to beg her to come with me to the ranch and leave Ty there. Jeez, why did she always turn me into such a fucking girl?

I do like the picture, Cass. I’m sorry I left the way I did, there were just a few things I needed to take care of before I left tomorrow. Enjoy your holidays, see you in three weeks.

Three long weeks of my life without Cassidy. Again.

Chapter Nine

CASSIDY

I WAS JUST about to slip into bed when Tyler came walking into my room with a hungry look on his face. Crap, not again. I’d done all our laundry, gone grocery shopping for us and for Gage since he was supposed to be back tomorrow or the next day, and all I wanted to do was lie down. Before I could say anything to him, he picked me up and laid me on the bed. “Ty, I’m really tired—oh!”

All coherent thoughts left me when he sucked on that sensitive spot behind my ear and made his way down my throat with soft kisses and barely-there licks. He grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled it over his head before letting it drop to the floor and pressing me into the bed again. I let my fingers softly trail down his back and up his sides, causing him to shiver and his ever-present hard-on to make itself known. Heat swirled in my lower stomach and my heart raced when his hands glided across my waist under my shirt. My eyes were shut and I let my head fall back onto the pillow as I pictured Gage’s body pressed on top of mine. Before I realized what he was doing, my jacket was unzipped, my shirt was pushed up over my chest, and his mouth was sucking on my hardened nipple through the satin of my bra.

We’d never even gone this far, and although it felt incredible and part of me wanted him to take my bra off so there was nothing between me and his mouth, my body started shaking. And not in a good way. My mind may have been conjuring up images of Gage, but there was no way I could keep telling my body it was him when everything was so distinctively Ty. He slid the cup of my bra down, freeing my breast and resuming what he’d just been doing.

“Ty,” I breathed, and tried to ignore my body shaking even harder. “Ty.” The last one came out as more of a moan.

“I know, baby.” His hands left my bra and made quick work of unbuttoning my jeans and trying to shove them down. He growled and pushed up off me to take them the rest of the way off and came back down onto his elbows, so only his mouth and hips were against me. “Cassi,” he whispered against my skin when he rocked against me. The pressure and roughness of denim sent tingles through me, and he did it again.

When his hand traced over my underwear and moved it aside, my body froze momentarily and then started shaking in full force. “No, no no no no. Tyler, I can’t, I can’t do this.”

“You’ll enjoy it, Cassi, I promise.”

I knew I would. It wouldn’t be my first orgasm; it would just be the first one done by anyone other than myself. But I wasn’t ready for this. Not with Tyler. “Ty, please—” I groaned when his fingers trailed against my most sensitive area and I cursed myself for feeling any type of pleasure while my body and mind were obviously sickened at the idea of allowing this to continue. “Tyler, seriously, stop!”

His fingers stopped just barely inside me, and his head jerked up to look in my eyes. “Are you kidding me?” He didn’t remove his hand as he looked at me suspiciously. “You want this, Cassi, don’t tell me you don’t. Your little moans and sighs, and damn it, Cassi, you’re wet as fuck. So why are you telling me to stop?” Tyler searched my face and shook his head slightly. “I swear to God, if you say you don’t want this . . .”

“I—I—I do.” I took a deep breath and forced my eyes to stay open and not make any noises when his fingers curled inside me. “I do want this, Tyler, but not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

“You’re—”

“Tyler. Please.” My body was shaking harder now and for some stupid reason I was on the verge of tears. “I do want you, and yes, it feels”—I floundered for the right word—“incredible. But we’ve never done anything more than kiss, and this is moving way too fast right now. Can we please just ease into this?”

“Ease into this? Ease? Damn it, Cassi! We’ve been doing nothing but making out for almost four months.”

“I meant—”

“You have got to be shitting me.” He got off the bed, grabbed his shirt, and stormed across the apartment to his room.

I shakily pulled my pants back on, and fixed my shirt and hoodie before going to his door. “Tyler, please, talk to me.” I tried the knob but the door was locked, and though I stood there begging for him to open it, there was never a response.

MY BACK ARCHED as his mouth sucked in one of my nipples and a soft moan escaped my throat. His hand came up to my other breast and gently massaged while his other hand started dropping lower, teasing my waist and hip before resting at the top of my underwear.

“Gage, please,” I begged, and grabbed fistfuls of his black hair.

“Please what?” If I couldn’t already feel it against me, the tone of his voice would have made it obvious he was smiling.

“Touch me.”

His hand slipped inside my underwear and I groaned embarrassingly loud when it finally touched where I wanted it most.