The Roommate Agreement

I leaned over the cab and hit him in the arm. “You’re a jerk.”

“I know.” He grinned, totally unbothered by my lame-ass punch. “It’s why you love me.”

I choked on my own spit, only just managing to wave him off by grabbing the bottle of water from the center console and rasping, “Dry throat.”

He shrugged it off. “But seriously, Shelbs, the shower is your friend.”

“And the vacuum is yours,” I shot back, wiping the corner of my mouth. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t even looked at it, much less plugged it in.”

“Oh, but Shelbs—”

“You do it so I don’t have to!” I said before he could.

I met his eyes and burst into laughter along with him. He was insufferable, but he was right, so… Who was I to argue with him?

I did do it. He really didn’t have to. I needed to change that. Make a schedule for something. “Maybe we really do need a schedule for chores. Like making you do the vacuuming and sink cleaning once in a while.”

“I don’t know,” Jay said slowly, pulling onto the streets where his parents lived. “A schedule? Would it work around work? Eh…”

“Stop trying to get out of it. It’s the one thing we haven’t properly addressed since the roommate agreement.”

“Chores? A schedule? I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you the first time you mentioned this. We’re not five, Shelby. I would think a pair of adults could figure it out.” He parked behind his parents’ cars, blocking them into the driveway.

I slid my gaze his way. “I just showed you the closet in the hall this week. Have you ever gone into it and used any of it to clean?”

“No, but—”

“That’s why we need a cleaning schedule.” I gave him a pointed look before I opened my door and jumped out. He did the same, and I said, “It’ll make it easier to live with each other. Besides, I might be more apt to share my food with you if I didn’t have to clean your man hair out of the sink.”

“All right, but I’m not touching the drain in the bath. That’s all on you, Rapunzel.” He bopped me on the top of my bun, causing me to glare at him. “Fair is fair.”

I rolled my eyes as he knocked twice on the door and pushed it open. “I never said I wouldn’t do it. We did put it in the roommate agreement, you know, and it was my addition, not yours.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just reminding you.” His grin was playful. “It also means you’re responsible for cleaning hair off the glass door of the shower.”

“Cute. Mr. Can’t-Work-The-Vacuum is making cleaning demands.”

“I bet I could work the vacuum if I tried.”

“Then try,” I said dryly.

“At least he’s doing his own laundry,” another voice called from the kitchen. Betsy. She appeared in the doorway, grinning widely, her blue eyes sparkling with laughter. “I bet he used that internet thing to figure it out, though.”

“Grams,” Jay groaned.

“He didn’t,” I replied, walking over and kissing her on her powdered, wrinkly cheek. “He couldn’t even turn it on until I talked him through it. Never mind that he forgot detergent.”

Her drawn-on eyebrows shot up, and she looked around me at him. “You forgot detergent? What’s wrong with you, boy? You’re soft!”

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself laughing.

“I didn’t think!” Jay protested. “Honestly, I knew this was a bad idea. I should have left when Shelby got out of the truck.”

I rolled my eyes as the sound of his dad laughing filled the air.

“Shut up!” Jay shouted, sliding past me and his grandmother, but it only made his dad laugh harder. “The crap I get from the women in my life is bad enough without you adding to it!”

“That’s why you’re still single!” his dad shouted back.

I grinned. “No, his poor housekeeping skills and lack of ability to be a functioning adult is why he’s single.”

Jay shot me a look. “When did you last wash your hair?”

“Washing my hair doesn’t make me an adult. Using a vacuum cleaner and knowing which spray cleans the sink does. Spoiler alert: it’s the one that says kitchen cleaner on the bottle.”

“How did I know they were all different? They all look the same!”

Betsy sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know how you went so wrong, Jay.” She dipped her head and winked at me. “Is it your father? Did I do a bad job with him? Lord knows it’s not your mother. She’s a delight.”

“Who’s a delight?” Georgina, Jay’s mom, walked in with a wide smile and pulled me into a one-arm hug.

“We were just debating how Jay grew up to be such a bad adult and how much of a delight you are.” I grinned, keeping my eyes on Jay. He narrowed his at me.