Disgrace

“I’ve let you down.”

“Yes, but I’ll heal. I’m stronger than I ever thought I could be. It turns out that we all are. But just do me one favor, will you?”

“Anything.”

Mama swirled in my thoughts. I couldn’t imagine how lost she felt. How hurt her soul must’ve been. I lay my head on his shoulder and softly spoke my one request. “Love her fully, or let her go.”

49

Jackson

My father woke up that evening.

Doctors and nurses were in the room with him, and I was waiting outside for them to allow me to come back. I didn’t know how to handle it. My heartbeats wouldn’t slow down.

He was awake, and the first person I messaged about it was Grace.

Whenever something good or bad happened, she was the first one I wanted to tell. Whenever I fell asleep, she was who I’d wish was beside me. I wasn’t a praying man, but if praying meant I’d receive Gracelyn Mae, I’d fall to my knees each night.

“He’s awake?” Grace asked, coming my way. Before I could reply, she wrapped her arms around me.

“Yeah. I’m just waiting until they let me back in.”

“Jackson, this is amazing.” She smiled, bright. “So amazing.”

“Maybe your family’s prayers worked,” I joked.

“My family…” Her eyes darted away from my stare, and she stepped back. Her smile faded, and her lips turned down. “I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

She swallowed hard. “It was my father. He was the one your mother was having an affair with.”

I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Yeah, I know.”

“What?”

“That’s what your mom told me all those weeks ago. It’s what pushed me away, and I hate myself for it. For allowing our parents’ scars to make me want to run. I owe you an apology for that—for how I walked away. It was selfish and childish. I just…it felt as if I was losing my mom all over again. Only this time, I knew why.”

“No. I feel like I owe you the apology. My father is pretty much the reason your mother’s gone. If he hadn’t…” Her eyes watered over.

“That’s not true. Whatever you are about to say isn’t true. None of this was anyone’s fault. The truth of the matter was two people fell in love, and then life got in the way of it.”

She kept frowning. “Why didn’t you tell me? Once you found out?”

“Your dad is your world. I’d never take that away from you.”

A doctor came out of the room and told me that I could go in to see him. I grimaced and nodded, looking toward Grace. “Do you want to come with me?”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “He just got out of a coma. The last thing he needs is to see a Harris smiling in his face.” She gently snickered. “Besides, you two need that time together and I should get back on the road, seeing as how I work in the morning.”

I pulled her close to me and kissed her forehead. “Thank you for coming down here to see me.”

“I’ll be back next weekend.”

“You don’t have to,” I warned.

“I’ll be back next weekend,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Keep me updated on your father, will you?”

“I will.” I placed my lips against her forehead. “And princess, can you do one thing for me?”

“Of course, anything.”

I combed her hair behind her ears and looked straight into those beautiful blue eyes as I spoke her way. “If you ever fall in love again, please let it be with me.”

50

Grace

Mike had been out of the hospital for a few days now, and he was lucky enough not to have suffered any brain damage. Ever since Mike had returned home, Jackson kept a close eye on him. He was terrified of his father relapsing, which wouldn’t have been uncommon.

The amount of alcohol that Mike Emery consumed on the regular was terrifying. I couldn’t even imagine the amount of worry that existed in Jackson’s soul.

When I got back to town Saturday morning, I headed straight for the auto shop to check on Jackson, where he said he’d be.

As I waited, I watched as the back door of the shop opened and Mike walked in with a coffee mug. He headed straight for the coffee machine and poured himself a mug of black coffee.

Then he topped it off with a small bottle of whiskey that he pulled from his pocket.

“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked, completely baffled. After everything he’d been through, after Jackson almost lost him, he had gone right back to the bottle.

That broke my heart more than words could express, and I knew if Jackson found out, he’d lose it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he barked.

“Waiting for your son. Are you really drinking? After everything you just went through?”

“Don’t come in here judging my choices like you know me.”