Southern Storms (Compass 1)

What if Jax hurt me? It was clear that even his therapist, Eddie, was worried about his well-being and how he was dealing with the health struggles of his father. What if once he passed away, Jax snapped? What if he pushed me away? What if I needed him and he wasn’t able to catch me before I fell?

Was I being naïve to think our relationship was on its way to a world of happily ever after? I mean, heck, we weren’t even officially in a relationship.

I sat outside and listened to the birds for a few hours, hoping they’d give me some answers, praying they’d share a few secrets of healing with me.

26

Kennedy

“You have keys to the library?” I asked Jax as he flipped through the set of keys in his hand. We stood on the top step to get into what seemed to be a very closed library. The sign read loud and clear that the hours were nine to five. Surely Jax knew this fact.

“I do tonight,” he said, finding the right key and unlocking the door in front of us. As he opened it, I stood still.

“What’s happening right now?” I asked. “Are we breaking and entering?”

He chuckled that deep, manly laugh that I loved from him. “No. The guy who runs the library, Hunter, allowed me to put in a request to have it for the night.”

“You requested a library? Are you telling me there’s a way to rent out libraries, because I’d like to sign up for that on a daily basis.”

“Not on the regular occasion, but Hunter owed me a favor.”

“What kind of occasion warrants you a whole library?”

He scrunched up his nose and scratched at the back of his neck. “I was working a plumbing job a while back, found a pair of lace panties shoved deep into his toilet drain.”

“Okay?” I asked, not following the odd story.

“A size extra-large pair of panties, and let’s just say his size extra-small wife was not the owner of them. Plus, she was gone on a business trip the week before the panty issue.”

“Oh, what a dog!”

“Yup, but he begged me not to tell—not that I would. Other people’s business is none of my concern. As long as his check cleared, I was good. Today when I asked him for his keys to have the library for the night, and he said no. I said lace panties, and he handed them over.”

I laughed. “You blackmailed him with panties?”

“Sure did.”

I shivered at the thought of Jax having to deal with a stranger’s panties. “I bet you see a lot of weird things with your job.”

“Don’t even get me started on the anal beads.”

My eyes widened. “What?!”

He snickered to himself and shook his head. “Never mind. Let’s go.”

We walked into the library, and in an instant, I was in heaven. Jax locked the door behind us so no one else could get in. If I ever had to be locked away somewhere, I prayed it would be a library. I’d never run out of adventures.

“I figured it would be easier to search the library for the hidden room if no one else was here. Plus, now we can be wild and ignore the no talking rules.”

“Aren’t you the biggest rebel?”

“What can I say? Bad to the bone.”

This was so exciting to me, and I loved that Jax had gone the extra mile to make what some people would think was a lame evening even more special. At the front checkout desk was a basket filled with snacks and two spill-proof wine tumblers which were hopefully filled with happiness.

“Joy sent us a bottle of white wine. She said you really liked this certain type. Also, I attempted to make a chicken potpie, which is a million times easier said than done. Joy helped me with that, too.”

My eyes widened. “That’s my favorite meal.”

“Yeah, I know—at least, I knew it used to be. I was reading through the old letters you sent me and—”

“You still have our letters?”

He grew sheepishly shy, crossed his arms, and shrugged. “Yeah. I know that’s probably stupid, but they meant a lot to me. When I was younger, on some of my hardest days, I’d go back and read those letters. They got me through some heavy stuff.”

Without thought, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into my body. I needed to feel him against me, to remind myself that this was real, that we were real. I knew what Yoana was worried about, and I loved her for her concern, but Jax was the one designed for me. He wasn’t the villain of my fairy tale; he was the broken hero, the one who wasn’t meant to save me, but who was meant to save himself, and he was doing that. Day in and day out, he put in the work to better himself, which was so inspiring to me, and he made me want to do the same for myself. I didn’t want Jax to fix me—that was my own job. That said, I did want to be inspired by his growth to see that I, too, could grow, could heal, could come out of my current situation and find happiness on the other side.