Eastern Lights (Compass 2)

It showed up sometimes welcomed, other times not, and it filled people up inside.

Then in many cases, that love shifted. It cracked, it bled, it left scars that would never fully heal. It opened a door for distrust, self-doubt, and pain. I sometimes thought life would be better if love never existed because if love wasn’t real, heartbreak couldn’t occur either.

I lately wondered who the first person was to ever fall out of love. Did they see it coming? Was it a slow build? Did it start with small annoyances, or did they wake one morning and realize the love was gone? Did they mourn it? Did they walk away easily? How many days, months, and years did they travel before the love evaporated?

I wondered if losing love hurt them to the same extent it’d wrecked me over the past few hours.

Connor offered to ride back to my place with me, but I declined the offer. All I wanted to do was be alone for a while. As the car pulled up to the penthouse in SoHo, I grew nauseous. Part of me wanted to rush upstairs, pack my things, and hurry away without being seen. A bigger part of me hoped Jason was sitting up there, ready to tell me everything from the past twenty-four hours was a big mistake.

Ready to tell me he had just caught a case of cold feet and he’d run off to the courthouse with me that instant and say “I do.”

How pathetic was that?

If Jason asked me to still marry him, I’d probably say yes.

I didn’t know what that meant for my strength.

“Thank you, Luis,” I told Connor’s driver, who had been nice enough to take me home.

Jason’s home.

It definitely wasn’t mine to claim.

“Of course. If there is anything you need, I’m sure Mr. Roe would be all right with me transporting you to a different location today.” He was so kind to me, and I was thankful for that. I needed all the kindness I could get.

“I think I’ll be okay, thank you.”

We said our goodbyes, and I took a deep breath before walking inside the building. The moment I went through the front doors, my stomach tightened. Katherine sat working at the front desk, and her eyes widened when she saw me. Katherine was an older lady who’d been working in that same spot for over twenty years. She was the face that’d greeted me for the past few weeks since I’d moved in with Jason, one I was happy to know and love.

“Aaliyah, hi, sweetheart.” She stood quickly, and the heaviness that sat in her eyes held guilt. “How are you?”

I gave her a tight grin. “Seen better days.”

“I can imagine. I’m sorry about everything that happened, but Mr. Rollsfield said to let you know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

I stood a bit. “You’ve talked to Jason?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Is he here now?”

“No, ma’am. He stopped by yesterday to pick up some things before he headed out. Said he was going on a trip.”

“Did he say where to?” I asked.

Katherine grimaced. “I think he mentioned France?”

“Our honeymoon.” Or what was supposed to be our honeymoon.

“Look, sweetie”—Katherine rubbed the back of her neck and lowered her brows—“I was really betting on you being the one this time. I’ve seen Jason with many different women. Many, many, many—”

“I get it. Jason used to get around,” I cut in. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m just saying, it was different with you. He was different with you.”

I huffed at her words. They annoyed me for many reasons, but mainly because even though he had been different, he’d still left me. I wasn’t enough to make him stay.

I was never enough to make them stay.

“I wanted to be the girl who changed his life,” I confessed. My mind was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he had truly stood me up. Before in my relationships, I could see all the red flags—but Jason had seemed like he truly cared. This one had blindsided me.

“You did change his life.”

I rubbed the palms of my hands over my tired eyes. “I didn’t. If I had, I wouldn’t be here all snotty-nosed and teary-eyed. If I were the woman who’d changed his life, he would’ve been able to say ‘I do.’ But instead, he walked away.”

“Even if that is true, you still changed his life.”

“How do you know?”

“Because people can’t meet you and not be changed, Aaliyah.”

I smiled and thanked Katherine as I reached around to grab my key from my purse.

“Aaliyah,” a voice said from behind me, making me turn around in haste. I knew the voice the moment I heard it, and the sound alone made my heart sink.

“Marie, hi.” I breathed out as I looked into a set of eyes that had grown to mean so much to me. “What are you doing here?”