Eastern Lights (Compass 2)

“Hi,” he said as he crossed his arms. “What’s up?”

What’s up?

That was what he decided his first words to me in person should be? My blood began to boil as anger built up inside me. I had thought I would crumple the moment I saw him. I’d thought I’d fall apart and cry. Instead, I felt an intense amount of irritation.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming here,” I said.

“I know. I figured it might be best if I just surprised you by stopping by. My mom told me you were moving out today, and well…” He raked his hand through his hair. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Are you kidding me? Why in the world would I stay?”

“I don’t know, Aaliyah. This just seems pretty sudden, that’s all.”

He was talking as if I’d upped and decided to walk out on our relationship, as if I’d made a rushed decision to move on with my life.

“Jason, what in the hell are you talking about? You called off our wedding. There’s nothing sudden about me moving out. Honestly, I should’ve been gone a long time ago.”

“You don’t have to raise your voice.”

“I’m not raising my voice!” I snapped, clearly heightening my vocals at that very moment.

“See why I didn’t reach out to you after calling things off? I knew you would react like this,” he muttered.

“React like what? You know what, I don’t even know why we are having this conversation. It doesn’t matter. I’m moving on, and I’m assuming you’re doing the same. So, if you’d excuse me, I’d like to finish packing so I can get out of your place.”

“What if we didn’t, though?”

“Didn’t what?”

“Move on?”

My chest tightened. What in the world was he talking about?

He took a step toward me. “Aaliyah—”

“Stop,” I scolded, holding my hand up in front of me. “Don’t come closer.”

“Why do you have to be so dramatic all the time?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re acting super emotional for no reason. Yeah, I messed up, and I get that, but that doesn’t give you a reason not to give me another chance.”

Was he drunk? High? Did he really believe there was any part of me that would want to give him another chance at hurting me again after he left me? I wanted to curse him out. I wanted to yell, and I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to give him any more of me. I wanted it to be over.

“Jason, I’m going to finish packing, you’re going to move on with your life, and I’m going to do the same.”

“We took care of you,” he said. “When you couldn’t do things, my family had your back, not to mention the bills for your—”

“I get it, okay? Your family has gone above and beyond for me, and I’m grateful—but you can’t toss that in my face. I never asked for any of what you’ve done for me. If needed, I’ll pay all the money back.”

“As if you have the time to pay it back. It would take you years.”

Those words were meant to cut me deep, and they did. Just another reminder of time and how mine was limited, another strike to my soul that I’d spent my precious time on the planet getting into bed with someone like him.

“You and I are done,” I said, not showing the emotion he’d come so close to pulling out of me.

He stared for a second, studying every inch of me. He was waiting for it to happen, waiting for me to crack, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t give him what he’d come for. It was as if he derived pleasure from watching me ache, so I stood strong.

“Your loss,” he said coldly. How had I ever thought that man was who I wanted to spend forever with that man? He was a monster. I’d climbed into bed with a monster simply because I was afraid of lying alone. “I should’ve never even listened to my mom about coming over here today. I knew it was a lost cause.”

“Your mother told you to come here?” Why would she do that? Especially after I told her it was best to cut ties? A last-ditch effort to try to get me to change my mind?

“Yeah. She tried to pressure me to get back together with you and—”

“Do you love me, Jason?”

He paused and arched an eyebrow. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because it appears you were trying to please your mother by being with me.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “She wanted you and me to be a thing more than I ever wanted us to happen. She thought you’d be good for me. That’s why she pushed it so much and offered me…” His words faded, leaving me wondering where his thought was going.

“Offered you what?”

“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t even worth it. Clearly, this is over. Good luck with whatever kind of life you have left. Leave my key in the foyer.” He turned and left, slamming the door behind him. Even though he left, his words still struck me hard.