Just Pretend (Love Comes To Town)

I still have no idea where my head is at, or if I even want to know.

I’m just getting in my car to head home from work when Emerson calls me up. “You busy tonight?”

“Nope.” Something that I instinctively know I want to avoid flickers in me—and I dismiss it. “Why?”

“I… she dumped me, Nolan.”

“Maude?”

“No. Mary.” He sighs. “It doesn’t matter, though. She dumped me this afternoon. Wouldn’t even tell me why.”

“Shit, that bitch.”

“She’s not a bitch.” Another sigh. “OK, she’s no star either. I don’t know.”

“You want to go out tonight?” he continues.

“Do I ever.” Suddenly, all the swirling in my head materializes into one certain fact: I need a nice wild night out. “Jax might be up for it too. He and Laura have been on the fritz lately. If we’re lucky and use some good old brotherly guilt tripping, maybe we can even get Landon to show.”

“No need.” The sound of a piano note trills through the line—Emerson probably called me up during one of his piano seshes. He actually does a bunch of piano scales to help him relax, imagine! “Don’t pressure him into it or anything. I just thought for tonight, if you were down—”

“Stop it,” I growl at him. “Tonight is happening.”

“OK,” he says, clearly relieved. “Just text me where you wanna go for whenever. And I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah.” I say. “See you then.”

Another experimental note sounds from his end, and his voice sounds happier when he reaffirms, “See you then.”

I fritter away the next few hours with some heated-up leftover falafels. Jax swings by too, his face grim.

“That bad?” I ask.

He shrugs. “She threw a microwave at me. Last year, I was all for her getting into CrossFit, thought she could work off her anger problems, but now…”

I sigh in commiseration, go over to give him a supportive brotherly pat. “Now this cold-blooded psycho has even more tools at her violent disposal.”

He shrugs my hand away. “Fuck off.”

“You know I’m just honest with you because I love you,” I sing-song after him as he stalks to the fridge. “And yeah, please, just help yourself. I have some moldy apples in there that need some love.”

His back to me as he scans the (admittedly dismal) fridge contents, he gives me the finger. I blow him a kiss, even though he can’t see it.

“Here,” I say, and slide him a plate with the sixth falafel that I wasn’t sure I even wanted anyway. “And do I ever have the plan tonight for you.”

He swings around to take the falafel, although the look on his freckled face is suspicious.

“What?” I ask innocently.

“Last time you had that tone, we almost got arrested for filling the Gramercy Park fountain with bubbles and dancing in it with those two crazy sisters from Japan.”

“And?” I eye him. “That was still the best night ever! Plus, key word, almost.”

When he doesn’t respond, I continue, “Anyway, tonight’s fun will likely be of the tamer variety. We’re just going out to cheer up Emerson who’s been recently… ahem, released into the wild.”

Jax whistles low in understanding. “Poor guy. Magda left him?”

“I think it was Maggie,” I comment.

“Nah, was definitely Magda,” he states.

“Well.” I smile pleasantly. “Just another reason for you to come, so we can find out this mystery bitch’s name.”

The smile on his face is part grim and part excited. “OK. I’m in.”

I try calling up Landon, but he doesn’t pick up. Probably doing some batty family thing like a sock puppet show or baking pink chocolate cookies or something.

So I leave a voicemail: “Hey, this is your twin brother. Remember him? We’re going out tonight and you should come, Emerson needs your big brotherly presence. If you need an alibi, I can tell the old wifey that we’re volunteering at a homeless shelter for leprous children who are also blind, deaf, and mute, if that would help. Bye.”

Not that I actually expect him to show. Ever since he got ensnared by said wifey, Landon has been MIA.

The next few hours, Jax and I shoot the shit, watch some of the basketball game, order some shawarma. Then, finally, it’s time to head to Svitz.

“Emerson’s going to meet us there,” I tell Jax in the cab. “He’s too cheap to take the $25 taxi ride over to our place ahead of time.”

I spare my little brother the embarrassment of revealing to Jax that really, he just blew thousands on this Maggie who summarily dumped him.

We find Emerson at the bar, a sad-looking slob with one empty tequila and two finished ones already.

His blond hair is askew, and his blue eyes are rimmed with red. Poor guy.

I give him a big slapping hug. “Don’t you worry. Tonight is going to be epic.”

He tries to smile, but all it does is turn his grimace into a somewhat neutral expression. “She dumped me.”