Beneath the Stars (Falling Stars 4)

Her kiss motherfuckin’ bliss.

Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall.

Was chanting it. Searching for a way to resurrect a wall. Maybe put up a steel barrier or two. Somethin’ to keep me from heading in the direction of a place I couldn’t go.

I edged off her so I could ditch the condom in the wastebasket next to my bed, hoping it might put a little space between us when I did.

Only thing it achieved was me rushing back for her. Needing her warmth. Though this time when I wrapped her in my arms, I shifted us a fraction so we were lying on our sides.

Just…looking at each other through the languid darkness. Memorizing a moment that meant more than it should.

With a trembling hand, Maggie reached out and ran her fingers through my beard.

Softly.

Reverently.

Adoration I didn’t know how to stand beneath rolled off her in waves.

“You keep doin’ that.” My smile was slow. Voice soft.

She almost giggled. “What’s that?”

“Pettin’ me.” I let the tease wind with the murmured words.

Maggie grinned. “Well, you are a stallion. What do you expect me to do?”

My chest squeezed. So tight. Didn’t know if it was in pain or affection. I fiddled with a lock of her hair. “You regrettin’ taking that ride, yet?”

I went for light.

Playful.

Didn’t come close to pulling it off considerin’ I choked over the words.

Fact that earlier I’d been faced with the truth that I had to ignore this. Turn my back on this connection. It wasn’t safe. That bastard would do whatever he could to ruin me. Destroy everyone around me if they got too close just for the sake of causing me pain.

And all it’d taken was her care for us to end up here.

Her fingers scratched deeper into my beard before she caressed them along my lips. “I could never regret a second spent with you.”

Shame clawed through me and closed off my throat. “Wish I could be worthy of that statement.”

“And I wish you saw yourself the way that I do.”

Grief flashed, old wounds ripping wide open.

Screams.

Shouts.

Blood.

Loss.

I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop it.

Didn’t have time to brace myself against them. To keep it from flashing across my face. But I should have known better, anyway, known she could feel each of them like she was experiencing them herself.

“Rhys. My wild boy with the biggest, most beautiful heart.” She set her hand over the hammering it was currently doing against my ribs.

“It’s all fucked up, Maggie.” I murmured the confession. Praying she’d get it. “Not mine to give.”

And the problem was, it was reaching for her, anyway. Communin’, the way she’d said. Like this was where I belonged.

Guilt invaded.

The promise I had made that I didn’t have a single fuckin’ clue how to keep.

“You’re thinking about her? The one you fell in love with?” There was no judgement there. No hurt except for the hurt she was feelin’ for me.

God.

This woman.

So genuine.

So real.

So fuckin’ right.

I took the fingers she kept running over my face and twisted them with mine. “Yeah.”

Wistfulness danced around that mouth. “What was she like?”

My lips tweaked with the sadness. “Sweet. Kinda like someone else I know.”

I went to brushing back a lock of her hair, needing to do something with my hands before I had them running over her body again. Fingers itching to get lost in all that bare, gorgeous flesh.

Then Maggie had to go and press even closer.

Right there, ready to hold my words.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been bein’ so upfront and honest. Just…laying it out like this. Another girl would slap me across the face. Rightly so. But I didn’t know how to be any other way with Maggie. Not with this girl who got me in a way that no one else could or ever had.

Even her.

Genny.

All blonde hair and shy smiles.

“She was young. So young. Barely eighteen.” I blinked through the memory. “It was years ago. Carolina George was just makin’ a name for itself. We were in this spec of a town in Tennessee, the bar nothing but a dive, but the crowd ate us up like we were the best thing they’d ever experienced. We were all soarin’ that night. Might have been the first time we all knew we were on to something. Like we could feel the promise of success trembling around us. And there she was, out in the crowd, off to the side, hovering in the fringes. Nothin’ but nerves. Wide eyed. Like she hadn’t even known a place like that existed.”

Truth be told, she hadn’t really. She’d snuck out with her best friend since she hadn’t been allowed to leave the house unsupervised. Her family so fuckin’ twisted.

Not allowed to make her own decisions.

Kept under lock and key.

And I’d been ignorant enough to think for a second that I’d been purposed to be there with her that night. That it hadn’t been an accidental encounter.