Dirty Wedding

She's right.

I know what she's asking.

And I owe her the truth. "I think about the sound you make when I bite you. When it gets too hard, and you're not sure you can take more. I think about how I can push you past that. So you can take more pain. More control. More force."

"You want to bite me?"

"I do bite you."

"So what?"

"I want to surprise you. Hurt you. Throw you against the wall, rip off your panties, fuck you even though you're asking me not to."

"You want me to say no?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Her eyes go wide. With surprise. "You think about that? Forcing me?"

"With your permission." I suck in a shallow breath. How can I ask her for this? How can I ask her to admit she wants it?

How can I do anything else?

I push my exhale through my teeth. "Is that what you want?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Her chest heaves with her inhale. "I… I like the idea." She stands. Brings her hand to my wrist. "I can't really show you easily in this outfit, but I… Can I take it off?"

"I'm not going to play right now, Indie. Not until you're sober. Not with something like this."

"I understand." She turns her back to me. Motions to the zipper. "Does that mean you won't fuck me?"

"Not necessarily."

Her breath catches. "How do you want to fuck me, right now?"

Twenty minutes ago, I wanted something soft and sweet. I wanted to feel every inch of her bare skin against every inch of mine.

Now that she's asking me to find her deepest desires—

My cock is trying to take over.

"I want to throw you over the couch, bind you with my belt, fuck you until you're begging for mercy."

She lets out a soft groan.

"But I won't."

"If I say please?"

"No. Not until you're sober."

"But maybe soft? Or slow?"

"Maybe." I bring my fingers to her zipper. Run it down her back. Trace her spine back up. I press my lips to the back of her neck. "I want to feel like you're mine."

"I am."

I push the sleeves off her shoulders. Down her arms. All the way to her waist.

I bend to roll her jumpsuit to her ankles.

She's wearing only the leather harness.

A line of fabric between her breasts and around her rib cage. A tiny hook at the place where the lines meet.

One in front.

One in back.

She waits until I'm standing behind her to kick the jumpsuit aside. Then she turns back to me. Wraps her fingers around my wrist. Looks up at me. "May I, sir?"

"Yes."

She takes my hand. Slips it between her legs. So I can feel how wet she is.

"Indie—"

"I know what I'm asking." Her eyelids flutter closed for a moment. Then they blink open. Find mine. "I know this is what ruined your engagement. Even if you can't admit it to yourself."

"I—"

"Maybe it was more complicated than that. Maybe there were other things. But I know… you couldn't accept this part of yourself. And you tried to tell yourself it wasn't there. You tried to stay with a nice girl who wanted nice things."

"I loved her."

"But it still destroyed you." She swallows hard. "I know, asking for this—I might be the one pushing you too far."

"Indie—"

"But I have to." She releases my wrist. "I'm not a nice girl. I don't want nice things. And I don't want a nice man. Not here."

I bring my hand to her hip.

"Please, Ty. It doesn't have to be now. If you'll only do this when I'm sober… that's fair. And I accept those terms." She smiles. "But warn me before I drink next time."

A laugh spills from my lips. "You'd have stayed sober?"

"Maybe. I was nervous to meet your brother. He's your idol."

How does she make these things I can barely admit sound so fucking obvious?

"You're the only one who gets this part of me. Whatever else happens between us, you're the only one who understands." She places her palm on my chest. Digs her fingers into the fabric of my shirt. "You're the only one I trust."

"You trust me with your body?"

"Yes."

"Completely?"

"Completely."

My head swims. It's everything I want. Maybe the only thing I want.

"Please. It doesn't have to be right now, but please, I'll give you that part of me. Let me have that part of you. All of it."

"Indie—"

"Is that a yes?" Her eyes meet mine. "Will you do it? Will you promise to tell me the things you want? Even when they scare you?"

Chapter Forty

Ty

"Yes." It's heavy in my chest, but it floats the second it hits the air.

"Everything?" Her eyes stay glued to mine. "Always."

"I'll try."

She holds out her hand. "Me too."

"Will it always take half a bottle of bourbon?"

She smiles. "Only sometimes."

I meet her. Shake.

It's a simple touch. Nothing compared to unzipping her jumpsuit. But it still fans the fire.

I need to touch her.