Summer Sins

‘I like them but I don’t want them.’

She sent him an ironic look. ‘What a pity that is, for you already have one, or have you conveniently forgotten all about Daniel Moorebank? How old is he now? Fourteen? Fifteen?’

Hayley couldn’t help noticing the suddenly harsh set of his features, his mouth tightened to the point of whiteness and his dark angry gaze fixed on the road ahead. ‘He’s fifteen.’

‘Do you ever see him?’

‘Occasionally.’

‘But you don’t want more children in your life.’

‘No.’

‘Are you close to Daniel?’ she asked.

‘He’s a good kid,’ Jasper said, keeping his eyes straight ahead. ‘But I can’t be the father he wants. I’m not prepared to risk it with anyone else.’

‘That’s a totally selfish way of looking at it,’ she said. ‘What about if the woman you’re involved with on a more permanent basis some time in the future wants children? It’s not fair to rob her of that chance.’

‘I’m not planning on anything permanent.’

She folded her arms crossly. ‘You really are as shallow and selfish as the press makes out. Do you realise there are numerous women out there who are circumstantially childless because they happened to fall in love with selfish men like you?’

‘I’ve always been up front with the women in my life about the issue of children,’ Jasper said. ‘I always wear a condom. I don’t want to find myself in the same position as …’ he cleared his throat and hoped she wouldn’t notice his slight hesitation ‘… I found myself when I was eighteen.’

She gaped at him. ‘You really are serious about this, aren’t you?’

‘Are you currently on oral contraception?’

She tossed her hair over one shoulder huffily. ‘That’s none of your business.’

‘I have a feeling that this time next week it will be.’

She gave her eyes an exaggerated roll. ‘You must be joking.’

‘If you have any ideas of tricking me into a permanent role in your life, then get rid of them right now,’ he said. ‘As far as I’m concerned this is a one-act play and then the curtain is coming down.’

‘Fine by me.’

‘And I would advise against financial paybacks,’ he said. ‘I know that’s the way most women like to play it, your mother being a pertinent example, but I will make sure you are adequately compensated without you having to strip me of half my wealth. I haven’t worked my butt off for the last fifteen years to have you come along and sweep it from under me like your mother did to my father.’

‘You know, you have some really serious trust issues with women,’ she observed. ‘You really should see someone about it.’

‘What I have is a healthy dose of cynicism,’ he countered. ‘Even the strongest marriages can collapse. My parents were happy until your mother came waltzing in and lured him away with her come-to-bed eyes and body.’

‘That’s funny,’ she threw back. ‘You told me that if a man really loved a woman nothing and no one would be able to lure him away from her. Have you suddenly changed your mind or did you just say that to make sure I didn’t forgive Myles and marry him regardless?’

‘No, I didn’t just say that,’ he said, frowning slightly. ‘My father regretted his relationship with your mother. I know he did but he was too proud to admit it to me. He didn’t want to hear me say I told you so. He spoke to Raymond about it, however, knowing of course that my brother would forgive him in accordance with his beliefs.’

‘But you can’t forgive him, can you?’ she asked, looking at him again. ‘You can never forgive him for hurting your mother.’

His jaw tensed. ‘No, that I can never forgive.’

‘And you can never quite forgive me for being her daughter, can you?’ she said in a small thin voice.

Jasper glanced at her briefly, his chest feeling as if someone had it in a vice when he saw the flicker of pain in her blue-green eyes. He turned back to the road, wishing he could find the words to take away the bitterness of the past. He envied his brother, who could find it in himself to forgive even the worst of sins. But then Raymond was a bigger and better person than he was. He had already done so much good in the community, his love and sacrifice healing those damaged by the selfishness of others, which was even more reason why Jasper had to keep Hayley away from the truth about Daniel Moorebank.

‘I’ve perhaps been unnecessarily hard on you for something you had no control over,’ he said at last. ‘We can’t choose our parents. We get what we get and have to make the most of it.’