Silent Echo

A small wind blows over us, although I am perhaps the only one who feels it. I close my eyes for a few seconds and feel the sun and I briefly feel more connected to the earth than I ever have.

I relish these small moments. I wish I had relished them more when I wasn’t living on borrowed time.

My private-eye instincts kick into high gear, and so I ask, “What does Jewel have to do with Olivia’s disappearance?”

Eddie answers casually, as if he is talking about the weather, “Two weeks ago, Jewel committed suicide.”

The words hit me like a gut punch. Even Numi turns his head slightly to regard Eddie. For the stoic Nigerian, this is akin to a cartoonish double take.

“What do the police say?” I ask when I’m over the shock. I look at Eddie’s face for signs of grief that his on-again, off-again mistress took her own life. He dips his head away from my intent gaze and when he lifts it again, his expression is neutral.

“I haven’t mentioned Jewel’s suicide to the police yet.”

This surprises me. I have to wait a second or two to find the energy for my next question. “Why not?”

Eddie takes in a lot of air and leans forward. I can tell he doesn’t like leaning forward. Leaning forward puts him just that much closer to me. He lowers his voice when he speaks, “Lately… Olivia’s been pretty vocal about me not seeing Jewel anymore, even as friends.”

“Do you blame her?” My question has a double meaning but he doesn’t catch it.

Eddie shrugs. He doesn’t like talking about it. I honestly think Eddie thinks cheating isn’t a big deal. God, how was I ever even friends with him? Maybe it is a godsend that he’s not in my life anymore.

He says, “I guess not.”

“Had you been cheating with her?”

“No. Not for a few years.”

“So, what prompted Olivia’s change of heart?”

“I really don’t know.”

I wait. There’s more to the story, I can tell. Numi waits, too. Numi can outwait a polar shift.

Eddie’s knee continues to bounce. Perhaps faster than before. Finally, he adds, “Well, maybe Jewel and I had been hanging out more often than usual.”

I know Eddie well enough to guess, but I ask anyway, “Did you sleep with her?”

Eddie shrugs, clearly a defensive gesture that I hadn’t known about my friend. Perhaps a new defensive gesture. Perhaps now he had something to be defensive about. “Yeah, I did.”

“Did Olivia find out?”

“I’m thinking she did.”

“But you don’t know for sure?”

“No. She never mentioned anything.”

“Do you think Olivia killed Jewel, that it wasn’t a suicide?”

Eddie shrugs and seems to consider this for the first time. His knee stops bouncing. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything, Jimmy. That’s why I’m here.”

I nod, or I think I nod. “So what do you want me to do?”

“Help me find Olivia. It’s not like her to be gone so long, or for me not to hear from her.”

I know Olivia has left Jimmy before. I know this because on one such occasion she stayed with me. Eddie hadn’t liked that, but Eddie didn’t have a choice. I had been a perfect gentleman during her stay, but Olivia and I had, once again, shared some quiet moments together.

I think about my words carefully before I say, “Do you think there’s a possibility that Olivia left you because you’re a lying, cheating scumbag?”

Eddie looks up sharply. “That’s a shitty thing to say.”

“Maybe,” I say. “But these days I speak my mind. I figure what’s the point in holding back?”

“Well, it’s still shitty of you to say it like that. Even if you’re right, why would she leave now? Jewel’s dead. Cheating on Olivia with her is moot.”

“Maybe she’s had enough of your shit, Eddie. Maybe she sees herself ending up like Jewel. I don’t know, but I do know one thing.”

“What?”

“She deserves better than you.”

Eddie rises to his feet, chair scraping back. I don’t know what he intends to do, but he doesn’t get far. Numi grabs Eddie by the forearm. Numi makes no other movement. Hell, even his eyes are still half-closed as he stares ahead. He looks, if anything, bored. It’s a well-cultivated illusion. Numi, I know, sees everything.

“Sit down, cowboy,” he says.

Eddie doesn’t like to be grabbed, and he doesn’t like Numi, either. I see him look away and contemplate leaving. If he leaves now I know I will never see my friend again, and perhaps I will never see Olivia again either. I had always assumed I would see her at least one more time. At least, I want to see her again to say good-bye.

“I probably shouldn’t have said what I said, Eddie, but you know how I feel about you cheating on her.”

“Because you love her.”

“Because I care about her,” I correct. “Sit down.”

He doesn’t sit immediately, and Numi hasn’t released him either. Finally, he shrugs off my Nigerian friend and sits again, folding his arms over his chest.

“Good,” I say. “Who saw her last?”

“The friend she was staying with.”

“When?”

“Almost two days ago. She told a friend she was going to take a hike in Elysian Park.”

“When did she leave you?”

He thinks about it. “Eight days ago.”

“She had been with her friend the entire time?”

“Yes, as far as I know.”

“What’s her friend’s name?”

“Karen Fitch.”

“Do you know where she lives?”

“Yes, in Echo Park. I can get the address for you.”

He lapses into silence and so do I. All of us know that Elysian Park is where my brother disappeared some twenty-two years ago. My brother was nine years old. Eddie must have told Numi this, which is why Numi allowed Eddie to see me. Numi, my watchdog.

I think my face might have twitched, but I try to keep it together when I ask, “Did she go alone?”

“Yes.” Eddie is watching my face carefully. He knows how closely this is hitting me. Too damn closely.

I count back two days. That would have been July 5. If she had gone to Elysian Park on the Fourth, I would have understood. People hiked and picnicked there to watch the fireworks at Dodger Stadium. I have done so a few times myself. Back in another lifetime.