Stepbrother's Gift

; He looked away, toward the window. “I thought we just did talk about this,” he said. He looked back toward me. “Now, get some clothes on. I'll give you a ride to the airport. I've already taken the liberty of buying you a plane ticket back to New York.”

My knees started getting shaky. I had never had a chance to tell him how I really felt. He had no idea that I had pined for him all these years. He had no idea that every man I had ever slept with, I had imagined being with him. He had no idea that I wasn't on birth control and that I wanted to bear his children. By buying me a plane ticket out of there, he was showing me exactly what part he wanted me to play in his life.

I knew that I shouldn't show emotion, but I felt like if I bottled it up any longer, I might actually faint. The tears began to flow as I screamed. “I don't want your fucking plane ticket, James.”

He sighed deeply, like a big brother lecturing a little sister. “Allie-”

“No, you know what?” I stormed out of the kitchen and back to the bedroom, grabbing my purse and storming back. “Here's the money you gave me yesterday.” I sheepishly realized that I had broken one of the hundred dollar bills. “Well, $195 of it anyway. I bought a coffee at your stupid shop. I don't need it, and I don't need you.” I wadded up the bills and threw them at him, only they only made it like a foot before they floated impotently to the floor. I was in such a rage that I hardly cared.

“Allie!” he yelled.

“I'll find my own way home, thank you very much.” I crossed my arms and wished to heaven I wasn't naked. I just didn't sound competent without clothes on.

James crossed the difference between us in an instant. “Allie!” he shouted at me. For a moment, I thought he was going to slap some sense into me like an old movie, but he just looked at me with those beautiful green eyes of his.

“I don't want your stupid plane ticket,” I repeated, only now I sounded like a sullen child.

He put his hands on my shoulders and shook his head. “I know you're mad right now. But this could never work out. You know that.” He held me close to himself, hugging me for a moment.

I knew he was right. I knew that of all the people in all the world, the last person I should be hugging naked was my stepbrother. We were supposed to behave like siblings. We weren't supposed to be lovers. But that didn't change the way I felt. It didn't change the fact that I ached to bare his children and that more than anything, I wanted him to want me.

He gave me a squeeze and laughed. “Remember when I told you to take the bus home instead of giving you a ride myself, back in high school?”

I let out a sarcastic snort. “You're not making me feel better.”

“Sorry. Well, let me get you home to New York. We can count that as payback for mistreating you that day.”

I thought about it. “A plane ticket is a lot more expensive than a car ride home,” I pointed out, still feeling like I was going to start sobbing at any moment.

“Shut up. Just think of it as payment with interest.”

There that word was again. Interest. The only terms that James could understand were business terms. I broke the hug and looked up at him, just managing to nod.

“And part of that trip home includes covering any incidentals, so please...” He turned around and picked up the scattered bills, smoothed them out, and handed them back to me. “Take this money and use it to get home. Enjoy whatever's left.”

I was too emotional to argue, so I held out my hand and accepted the money, nodding again.

“That's good. Now get showered off and dressed. I'm leaving here in fifteen minutes.”

***

Fifteen minutes didn't leave a lot of time for thinking in the shower. I was in shock as I let the water run over me. I let soap run all over my body, I thought of how silly I had been to make any plans to begin with. Society wouldn't care that we weren't blood related, all they would see is a brother and sister raising a family together. It wasn't fair, but it was the way the world worked.

The only time I started crying again was when I rubbed the soap over my belly.

What had I been thinking? How could I have ever wanted something as twisted as this? The little voice in my head chastised me for being so stupid, yet I still loved the idea of James' baby in me.

I got out of the shower and got dressed as quickly as possible. My sweater smelled of my sweat, and my panties were soaked with James' semen. I'd have to throw them away when I got home.

When I left the bedroom, James was already dressed in his suit. Without a word, he grabbed his briefcase and went to the door, holding it open for me so we could leave. I took one last look at the apartment, knowing that I'd never see it again.

We got in the limo and James immediately put up the partition between the driver's seat and the passenger area. He tensed up. “Allie, I know that you're mad right now. I don't want to have to ask you to sign a non-disclosure agreement, but-”

I knew exactly what he was going to say, so I cut him off. “I'm not going to tell anyone, James.”

“Not your roommate. Not Tessa. Not our parents.”

“I won't tell a soul,” I said. It was the truth. I would be too embarrassed to tell people that I slept with my stepbrother.