Don't Look Back

“Sammy, I still love you even though you…aren’t acting right.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, drawing me against his chest as he supported his weight against the wall. Glassy eyes met mine. “We’re meant to be together. And we’ve faced harder things than this.”

The music pounded in my ears as I stared up at him. “We have? I thought we had a perfect relationship, Del.”

He stared at me. “We did—we do!”

“Then what did we face?”

His mouth opened and closed. “Sammy, let’s not focus on that. Tell me what I need to do to make this work, and I’ll do it.”

“No. I want you to tell me, because I have this feeling…”

“Oh, she has a feeling!” Veronica’s voice trilled over the music and conversation, followed by her giggling. “This reminds me of something.”

Turning around, I saw Veronica standing a few feet away. She wobbled to the side. Someone turned the music down. My eyes found the source. Candy. Dread poured into me, locking up my muscles.

“You had a feeling during the funeral, didn’t you?” Veronica’s voice rang loud with false interest.

Everyone stopped. Dozens of eyes were on us, and the barn suddenly seemed too small. I stepped back and met the wall. Del had inched to the side, eyes downcast. A look crossed his face, tightening the features. At first I thought it was concern, but then I realized it was embarrassment.

I was alone.

“So, tell us what the feelings are like?” Candy joined in, flipping the icy sheet of blond hair over her shoulder. “Is it like psychics on those shows?”

A girl laughed. Others snickered.

I folded my arms around me, wanting to crawl into a hole. “I don’t think so.”

“It’s not?” Veronica leaned against the back of a couch, her catlike eyes narrowed. “So, what’s it like, then?”

A slow anger built inside me. Why were they doing this? Yes, we’d obviously grown apart, but to put me on the spot like this? “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Why not?” Candy whined, but her eyes sparked with maliciousness. “Everyone is dying to know what it’s like not having any clue who you are. And, wow, being the last person to see Cassie alive. What’s that like?”

“Knock it off,” Del said, finally speaking up. He’d found another bottle, clenching it tightly in his hand. “You’re embarrassing her.”

Or was I embarrassing him?

Candy rolled her eyes, and a dark-haired boy strolled up behind her, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. Trey. I almost didn’t recognize him. He whispered something in her ear while he met my eyes. He grinned. Candy giggled, pressing back into him.

Veronica’s lips pursed. “What happened at the funeral?”

My head snapped in her direction. “I’m not talking about that here. Sorry.”

“Don’t be such a bitch, Sammy. Everyone wants to know what it’s like.” She turned around, raising her voice. “Right?”

Voices cheered and people chattered all around me. Their eyes bore into me as they pressed forward. I was falling again, but not from a cliff. I’d been at the top of the social ladder, above them, but now I was tumbling off it, hitting every single rung on the way down. Bruised and shaken, I felt the pressure build in my chest.

Who knew how many of them had waited for this day to come? And could I blame them? No. I’d probably terrorized half these kids. I searched the sea of faces for my brother—for Carson. My gaze skipped over one and darted back. Heart stopping, I thought I saw Cassie’s face—smiling at me. Happy. Thrilled.

I couldn’t catch my breath.

Veronica’s smile grew. “Okay. You don’t want to talk about that. Understandable. But you know what I heard?”

“No,” I think I whispered.

“When you wrecked your brother’s car—Mike Billows said you kept talking about someone being in the car with you, but there wasn’t anyone there.” Her voice rose. “He said you were crazy—‘Insanity Sam,’ I think he said.”

Crazy. Insanity Sam. The words bounced around in my skull. For a moment, the faces around me blurred out of focus. I was crazy. No one had been in the car. And how did she know? I looked at Del, but he was still staring at the floor. A second later, I remembered who Mike Billows was: a kid in my bio class who volunteered with the fire department.

“Seeing things?” Candy said, feigning sympathy. “That must really suck.”

Trey smacked her hip. “Be nice.”

She giggled.

“Or maybe,” Veronica continued, “you’ve always been crazy, and we just didn’t know it.” I wanted to throw myself at her, but I couldn’t move. “You sure you don’t remember the last time you saw Cassie…alive?”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Some of the faces lost their smiles. They were glancing at one another, no longer sure if watching my fall from grace was funny and entertaining.

A tall blonde pushed through the crowd, knocking kids out of the way. Julie took one look at Veronica and sneered. “Are you drunk or just a dumb bitch?”

“Excuse me?” Veronica shot back, lip curling. “You can’t possibly be talking to me.”

Julie got right up in her face. “You’re right, there are a few dumb bitches here. But I’m talking to you. So what’s your problem?”

Music suddenly blasted the air, drowning out whatever the two girls were saying, but it looked heated. I owed Julie—owed her big-time. But I had to get out of here. The dark brown walls of the barn were spinning. Nausea rose sharply.

Del reached for me. “Sammy—”

I pushed away from him, plowing through the closest group now fixated on the girl fight about to go down.

“Hey!” snapped a girl. “Watch where you’re going.”

“Sorry,” I murmured, keeping my eyes on the floor.

Another body blocked me. I stepped to the side. Too hot—I was too hot. Bodies were everywhere, pressing into me, suffocating me. Too much perfume—too many sounds. My heart slammed off my ribs; my lungs squeezed. I needed to get outside, get fresh air. The pressure increased and settled on my chest, cutting off the oxygen. Thoughts swam; the walls tilted.

Did you kill her? a voice whispered.

I whirled around. “Who…who said that?”

The boy closest to me arched his brows, muttering something under his breath, and turned away.