Don't Look Back

Letting out a sigh, he sprawled across my bed, on his side. “Don’t you like the necklace, Sammy? If not, I can buy you a new one—something better…with sapphires? They’re your favorite stone. Well, they were….”

My fingers loosened around the necklace. “I don’t need a new necklace.”

He looked up at me, his eyes full of uncertainty. “Then tell me what I need to do to make you happy. I can take you to that restaurant in Philly that does the sushi the way you like it. Or we can spend the weekend at the Poconos. I’m sure your parents will be okay with that.”

I winced. There wasn’t anything he could do. Lies about our relationship and my suspicions aside, this was coming. I knew days ago that I needed to end things with him. I just didn’t feel what I should when we were together. My breath didn’t catch. There wasn’t a soft flutter in my chest. My stomach didn’t get tipsy just hearing his name. Those were all things that I felt for another boy…and that was just wrong.

Del must’ve seen it in my eyes because he sat up, searching my face intently. “We can make this work.”

“I don’t think we can,” I said softly.

He looked away, shaking his head slightly. “Is it because of what happened today?”

“N-no, not…not really,” I stuttered. Had I done this before? If so, did I suck as badly at it then as I did now? “I’m sorry. I really am. I just don’t—”

“We can work on this.” He turned to me again, eyes so dark they almost looked black. “You just need more time.”

I met his stare. “Time isn’t going to change anything. I don’t feel that way for you. We’d make good friends, but—”

“I don’t want to be friends with you.” He jerked back, eyes widening. “I can’t believe you’re doing this after everything.”

This hurt more than I had expected. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and turned his hand over.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Sammy, don’t do this….”

Wetness gathered in my eyes as I placed my hand over his, pressing the necklace into his open palm. The moment my hand touched his, I shuddered. The memory came on so quickly it left me spinning. A dull gray film dropped over my eyes.

“Don’t you dare act like this is my fault!” I screamed.

“I’m not acting like anything! Jesus.” He flopped back on his bed, grabbing the remote control. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this. You had fun while you were doing it.”

Tears clouded my eyes as I looked down. Humiliation didn’t even cover it as I thumbed through the photos on his phone. Pictures all linked to text messages he’d sent Trey, who in turn had sent them to everyone.

I sat on the edge of the bed. I was so stupid, so freaking stupid. I wanted to die.

He nudged me in the back with his bare foot. “Don’t be upset with me over this, okay?”

Don’t be upset? Everyone had seen these pictures. No wonder Veronica looked like she’d scored the entire spring Prada line this morning. And I bet Cassie was just thrilled. In that moment I hated them all.

Muttering under his breath, Del sat and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Look, all the guys think it’s hot as hell. They’re jealous of me.”

I stiffened. All the guys…The entire baseball team had been sending these pictures back and forth. Mortification squeezed my chest, stealing my breath. My brother had seen me doing…doing this? So had Carson?

I shrugged off his embrace and stood. “Don’t touch me.”

Del rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“I can’t believe you did that.” I threw his cell phone. It hit the hardwood floor, bounced once, and then cracked. A sick sense of justice filled me when the screen went gray.

Del shot off the bed, grabbing his phone. “Damn it, Sammy! Do you have any idea how much this cost me?”

“Do you know how much that embarrassed me?” I fingered the heart at the end of the necklace. “Or do you even care?”

He looked up, eyes narrowed. Tossing the phone aside, he stalked toward me. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Swallowing, I backed up. “I hate you,” I whispered.

“No, you don’t.” He grabbed my hand, squeezing so that the heart dug into my palm. I winced. “And don’t pull your little ‘I’m going to break up with you’ bullshit. You know you’re not. So just get over it.”

I was sucked out of the memory because I couldn’t breathe. Del’s arms were around me, holding me tight against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding as fast as mine.

“Sammy, say something,” he said. “Damn it, are you okay?”

Hot rage swelled inside me. The mysterious pictures my mom had referenced had been explained. My voice came out a broken whisper. “Don’t touch me.”

He stilled against me. “Sammy…”

The anger warmed me from inside, sharp and explosive. “Don’t touch me!” I screamed, breaking free of his suddenly lax hold. Jumping from the bed, I backed away from him, my chest rising and falling unsteadily. “You took pictures of me doing that to you?”

Del’s mouth dropped open as shock flitted across his face. “You remember?”

“How could you?” I demanded, the humiliation washing over me as if it had happened yesterday. Everyone had seen those pictures. Everyone. “How could I’ve been okay with that? What the hell was wrong with me? I can’t believe I stayed with you. Jesus.”

“Do you remember everything?” He stood, taking a step toward me.

“Don’t come near me!” I took another step back, hitting the wall. “I don’t need to remember anything else. That was enough.”

Relief shone in his eyes so quickly that I thought I’d imagined it. A keen sense of wariness was there now. “Sammy, you forgave me for that.”

I laughed harshly. “Then I’m an idiot, because from what I remember, I wasn’t happy about it.”

He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “It wasn’t my fault. Trey got ahold of my phone and saw the pictures. He sent them to himself, and then it just went crazy from there.”

“Like that’s supposed to make it better?” I strove to keep myself from kicking him right between the legs. “Did I know you took those pictures, Del? And don’t you dare lie to me!”