What If

My stomach flutters looking up at him. I’m still as attracted to him as ever, probably more and I arch and moan as he kisses and licks his way down my body.

He pays special attention to my pregnant belly until he’s between my legs, throwing them onto his shoulders and eating me until I’m a shaking mess covering his face with my release and he comes up my body smiling and slipping his cock inside me in one thrust.

The air leaves my lungs and my body explodes into an immediate blinding orgasm. His cock still stretches me to my limits and hits these spots inside of me that leave me breathless and helpless.

“You feel better now baby?” His green eyes narrow as he moves inside of me and I answer by moving my hips as best I can upward, taking all of him until I feel his balls hitting me as we move together.

True to his word, Torin moves my body into every position I can still manage and makes love to me until the sun is setting and the breeze turns cool.

As we lay spent and his hand pets my hair, I stare out at the tops of the trees, the roof of the house and am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Tears spring to my eyes again.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He’s so sweet but I hear the exasperation in his voice. He can’t figure me out minute to minute, and I know there is some element of extra worry for him considering my past anxiety and depression, but he made me promise to never keep my emotions tucked away, so I’ve learned to just let it all out.

“I’m just so happy.” I sob and he takes a deep breath unsure what the hell to do with this raving lunatic I’ve turned into.

“So, these are happy tears then?” He asks as I nod and he sighs. “Cuz sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.”

“I know.”

“Okay, well let’s talk about tomorrow.” He’s good at distracting me with conversation and he truly is my best friend.

I nod.

“Helga is coming here with Heather around noon. I’ll have the trellis set up, the florist is coming about the same time to get the flowers ready, the chairs put out. All you girls will need to do is help the bride get ready, I’ll handle making sure everything else goes smooth.”

“And Gerry is bringing his Dad at what time?”

“They should be here around four. Then guests start arriving at five. Ceremony will be at six, then dinner, drinking and the bride and groom will leave around nine for their trip.”

I giggle thinking about how we set up Helga and Gerry’s dad, Spencer, on a blind date a few months back. Helga of course refused at first, and I quickly reminded her she owed me in the blind date department and she grudgingly agreed to go for coffee with Gerry’s dad the next day.

“Life is funny.” I have snort thinking of how Helga has changed since that day. “Mom and Dad called earlier to see if there was anything else we needed.”

Since everything happened, I’d invited mom and my step-dad to come and see Barbara with me. They reluctantly agreed, but in the end, we spent a few months working together and although things are not perfect, we’ve arrived at a different sort of place and we are all trying to step forward into a more pleasant future.

“That it is.” Torin stands and starts to get dressed. “Wait here. I’ll bring up some tea and oatmeal peanut butter cookies. Just rest. I’ll be right back baby.” He finishes dressing and gives me a sweet kiss before retreating back down the steps of the loft.

Helga and Spencer have been together almost every day since their first date. He’s retired from the police force and now works with Helga at the bakery. They are having their wedding here tomorrow then flying off to Aruba for a honeymoon.

Helga even bought a bikini.

Heather and Mitchell are doing great. She just found out she is pregnant as well. Due four months after me and I’ve never seen her happier.

I work part time on the suicide prevention call center. My own issues have all but disappeared and I’m down to taking half a dose of just one of my meds a day but I see Barbara every week. I am humbled and mindful that my issues may always be there and Torin makes sure I know it is a part of me that he is more than happy to help with in any way, shape or form.

I’m still writing as well. My books have changed a bit. Matured I suppose but I’m doing better than ever and my gratitude for my career and how it fits into our lives humbles me. Imagining anyone wanting to read what I write to this day brings tears to my eyes.