Hello, Valentine (Holiday Love)

“No… that’s ok. I am not looking for anything right now. You know… focused on school and all.”

“May...you are literally the only one of us who is going to start college as a virgin if you don’t give it up. Live a little. Have fun. Lose that V.” and I am done. I throw back my ginger ale lemonade mix and move to get up when Charlie, my other best friend, comes over and throws her arm around me.

“May-ster…” she says to me, screaming over the music. “Where are you going?”

“Home. I am exhausted.'' It is partially true. The real truth is, I haven't spoken with Drew in days since that day in his kitchen, and I miss him. She hugs me and pouts. “Fine. At least pose for this pic first.” Rolling my eyes, I nod my head.

“Fine.” I turn to grab my purse so I can leave as soon as the picture is done. Turning back around, I see some guy with his hand around my back, and before I can move or protest, he places his face against mine and flashes his phone. I blink for a second before shrugging him off of me. I didn't bother yelling or being a smart ass. Who gives a shit? I just want to go home and sulk.

The walk home is short, but also, it gives me too much time inside my head, and that is not a good place to be right now, with all the noise and chaos. I mean, I know two things. The first is that I love that man more than anything. The second is that I am not some dumb little girl with a crush. This is soul-scorching, life-changing love. If he doesn’t feel it back or can’t get out of his head, if I don't make some decisions, I am in danger of being like Kathy Smith, who lives next door. She went to school with Lori. She fell in love in high school and waited for the guy to come to his senses. Before she knew it, five years had passed, and she had missed college and has nothing to show for it. That will not be me. No. I need to make sure all of my stuff is in order for my future, with or without him.

“You are home early.” my mom says as I walk in the door.

“Yea. I just wasn’t into it. I am going to miss the girls, but all they want to do is hang with guys and stuff. That is not my scene.'' She sips her coffee and examines me in the way that only a mom can. I find myself fidgeting like I used to when I was little.

“The college sent another letter offering for you to come down for an early move-in. Your dad and I are happy to pay the extra money.” her eyes are pleading with me to say yes, and I know I should but not yet.

“Let me think about it.” I just need a little more time.

“No problem. Are you hungry?” my stomach groans at this exact moment. “I will heat you up some food.” She gets off the stool.

“Thanks, mom. I am going to go upstairs and change.” walking into my room, I take a look around and see remnants of everything I have accomplished, enjoyed, and loved. Pictures, trophies, ribbons. My life. I feel warmth from the memories. My mirror is covered in family photos, most of them with him and me. Taking off my clothes, I have every intention of putting on PJs when I find myself lying on the bed, dialing his number.

“Hello, Valentine.” Ugh.

“Stop calling me that, jerk.” I try to hide the smile in my voice.

“How are you? Haven’t heard from you in a few days.” Is he serious?

“The phone works both ways, ya know.”

“That is true, and I am sorry, little sis. Forgive me.” asshole.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On how you intend to make it up to me?” holy shit. Did I just say that? Hell, I hate to see what would have come out of my mouth if I would have had something to drink.

“Fuck.” he says before his voice drops. “Are you in your room?”

“Yes.”

“Is your door closed?”

“Yes.” my voice grows heavier and huskier.

“Good. Are you on the bed?”

“Yes.” I can’t seem to find any other words.

“Good girl. You knew what was going to happen when you called me, didn’t you?”

“I hoped,” I tell him, no longer able to play.

“Such a horny little girl. Are you naked?”

“Drew! Yes.” I answer him begging him.

“Touch those dusky pink nipples, May. I want you to roll and pull them.” I can hear the fight in his voice like he is trying to calm himself. I want him out of his mind. So, I do the only thing I can.