So Good

I was so fucking far gone, so lost in the reality of this all. And I knew that if I was going to be here, I had to be honest with Stephan. I could fight this with myself, force myself to stay away, but what I felt for Ivy would never go away. It would never dim. It would just keep growing until it festered within me and I fucking snapped.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the man who looked back at me seeming tortured. But then again, I was.

I knew I couldn’t keep this up, couldn’t stop myself. There’d be a point in time, probably sooner rather than later, where I just said fuck it and claimed her.

There’d be a point where I couldn’t stay away from Ivy. There’d be a point where I made her mine.

Fuck the repercussions.

10

Ivy

I was adjusting my shirt when I stepped off the landing and ran right into Matthew’s chest. A soft sound escaped me and I stumbled back, gripping the banister in the process. But he already had his hand on my upper arm, his big, strong fingers curled around my skin, searing me to the bone.

I sucked in a breath and glanced up at him, his muscular body so powerful and big he blocked out everything else behind him. I saw nothing but him.

Over the last couple of days, we’d kept our distance from each other, mainly because he was working a lot of hours and I was focusing on school. And he was all I thought of.

But I knew that it wasn’t just our schedules that created this wedge between us. I knew he was working extra hours so we didn’t have to talk about what had happened between us, so he could avoid me and not deal with the reality of the situation. I could see it in the way he looked at me, felt it in the way the air changed when he was near.

He stared at me for long seconds, not moving, his hand staying on my upper arm. I knew why he was keeping his distance, knew it was because of the taboo aspect of all of this. But then again, I didn’t know why he was stopping this. I could see the way he looked at me, especially right now, with his gaze heavy lidded and the air around us electrically charged.

The desire he had for me was clear, as strong and powerful as mine. But still he said nothing, just watched me as if he were a predator and I was his prey.

“Heading out.” He didn’t phrase it like a question. He knew where I was going tonight, had told me he’d overheard the party comment by Georgia.

I nodded, licked my lips, and took a step back, seemingly all in the same breath. And still he stayed close, still he kept his hand on me. A long moment passed before he finally let go, moved back a step, and shoved his hands in his pockets. His body was so big and powerful, the tattoos covering his golden skin having every feminine part of my body coming alive.

“Where’s the party at?” His voice was hard, cold.

I felt chills race over my body just from the sound of it. It was as if he was in parental mode. That’s how protective he sounded right now.

“At a guy’s house we go to school with.”

He was silent. Still.

“A guy?”

I nodded.

“I think you should stay home. I know exactly how guys act at parties, and I’m assuming there’ll be alcohol there, which makes it even worse.”

As much as I loved Matthew, and wanted to be with him, the hardness that surrounded him now, the way he pushed me away, had this anger slowly filling me.

I shook his hold off and narrowed my eyes. “I’m not a child. I’m going to this party.” He made a low, gruff sound, almost a growl of disapproval.

I pushed past him toward the front door.

“Ivy, I’m serious.”

I stopped and curled my hands into fists at my sides, turning and facing him. There was so much I wanted to say, but now wasn’t the time. Instead, I tipped my chin up and looked him right in the eyes. “Matthew, you’re not my father. I’m going to this party and I’ll be home later. I’ll be fine.” His face grew hard, authoritative. He could be pissed all he wanted. “You don’t get to tell me what the hell to do.” I swallowed, my anger mixing with my emotions. “You don’t get to kiss me then push me away and think you care about how I feel, what I do.”

The expression that covered his face tightened my chest. He looked like I’d just ripped his heart out.

I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and knew it was Georgia here to pick me up.