Xavier (Vigilance 4)

I stared at him. I’d be pissed as hell if anyone else contradicted me like that in the middle of a crisis, but one, he didn’t know how serious things had gotten, and two, I wasn’t sure I could feel anything but the desire to protect him. “You’re not safe here. I’m going to arrange for my jet to fly you somewhere Niall can meet you and take you to a safe house.

“No.”

“What?”

“No. You can’t just… What just happened was… You’re not sending me away.”

“What just happened was a mistake. It won’t happen again.” Saying those words cut right into me, especially when I saw the pain in Emilio’s eyes, but I needed him to be willing to leave, and if I had to hurt him to make him go, I would.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

Instead of being angry, I was thrilled he wasn’t backing down. I knew he was scared. I knew he was out of his element, but I could also tell he was used to fending for himself, which made me want to know everything I could about him. I imagined he’d not had a good childhood. I knew his parents had died when he was young. What had happened to him after that?

No. Send him away, the harsh commander in my head demanded. I ignored that voice, listening to my heart for once.

“Swain had connections in other places around the country. I know you found some of them.”

Emilio nodded. “I was working on a list of those for you.”

Of course he had been. He knew what I needed without me even having to ask. Was it like that with other clients? I didn’t want it to be. I didn’t want him working for anyone else. I—

“X?”

I shook off those thoughts. I had to fucking focus. If I couldn’t do any better than this, I wasn’t fit to protect him or to go up against the men who’d come for me.

“Swain told me if anything happened to him, proof of my real identity would go to his associates.”

“I never found a trail. There was nothing to suggest he—”

“Our best guess is that he went the old fashion way and wrote them by hand.”

“Who trusts shit like that in the fucking mail?” Emilio’s horror only made him more adorable.

“Crazy or not, his gamble worked. The men who were dealing with imports and exports in New Orleans know who I am.”

“Are you sure?”

“As much as I am about anything in this business. They’re coming for me, so I need to get you off the island.”

“No, I need to investigate for you. I need to break into their communication network so we know when they’re coming.”

“No. This is my fight. I took a risk. I put myself in the line of fire. I’m staying here because I don’t want to draw them toward my family, but I want you away from here where you’ll be safe.

“We should both leave. We can—”

“I’m not going to hide. I’ve done enough of that. I’m taking a stand now. It’s possible if I eliminate this threat, I can continue working with Vigilance. If I don’t confront this now, it isn’t going to stop.”

My chest felt tight as I said the words. I would have sworn the oxygen in the room decreased. I’d known sooner or later the people I was fighting would find out my identity, but I didn’t want to have to stop, and I didn’t want any of this to blow back on Anna or the rest of my family.

This was never meant to be a vacation, and it sure as hell wasn’t one now. This was a mission, and missions didn’t allow for fun or relaxing or discovering something new about your sexuality, and they sure as hell didn’t allow for falling in love. Oh fuck. Was I… I was way too fucking sure that I was.

Still, Emilio didn’t deserve to be tied to someone like me, someone who couldn’t promise to always be there for him. He deserved love and care and someone to remind him to eat and to sleep, someone who made him come to bed every night.

Can you really stand the thought of him with somebody else?

I would have to learn to.

“You’re not sending me away.”

The determination on his face was gorgeous. I was lying to myself. I was never going to get over him.

“Shouldn’t you stay off-line for a while?”

“That would be safest, but I can—”

“I can’t protect you online, only in person.”

“No one can kill me there. This isn’t some horror movie where if you die in a video game you die in real life.”

“Isn’t it, though? If they find out where you are, they’ll send someone to eliminate you.”

Emilio shrugged. “I’m already fucked. I’ll need to create a new identity and hope no one connects it to my old one. I don’t have the best equipment with me, but—”