Xavier (Vigilance 4)

X rolled off me. “That’s not exactly the reaction I was expecting.”

“I’m not laughing at you. That was incredible. I didn’t know anything could feel that good.”

“How does this feel?” he asked, running a hand over my ass.

I groaned. “Your cum running out of me feels amazing. My ass hurts, but it’s good too. It’s… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Stay there. Let me get something to soothe the sting.”

I didn’t want him to leave me. “You don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”

He rose from the bed anyway. “I’m going to put some aloe on it. That’s what you need, and it’s my job to take care of you.”

“Who takes care of you?”

He froze, standing beside me. A second passed, then another before he turned to look at me. “I don’t…”

“Don’t you dare say you don’t need anybody because you know that’s not true.”

“I was the commander of a special forces unit. I can take care of myself.”

“You’re also wealthy and powerful, and everyone you know is scared of you for one reason or another. That doesn’t mean you don’t need somebody watching after you. You take risks, crazy risks.”

“I expected you to do that too, and…”

“I did it because I wanted to, because you needed to end Swain, or he was going to come after you and destroy everything you’ve built since you came back to Boston. You’ve accomplished so much.”

“You really have looked into everything, haven’t you?”

“I didn’t have to dig very deep to figure that out.”

“Anyone who keeps up with the news knows what you’ve done for the Carrington Foundation. As for the rest, I’ve worked with you on enough missions to see what you do with Vigilance, and you take care of the rest of your team. I also know they look out for you, even when you don’t want them to.”

He scowled. “Have you been talking to Giorgio?”

“Not recently, not since we got here, but remember, I’m really good at listening.”

“That’s not all you’re good at.”

I shivered at his words. “Go get the aloe.”

I didn’t think he was going to open up anymore. If what we’d just done had been as powerful for him as it had been for me—and that was a big if—he was probably feeling as unsettled as I was about how deep he’d really gone, not just deep into my body but into my soul. No wonder he wanted to retreat.

I had to remind myself that he had never even been with a man before, though no one would know it from what he’d done to me just now.

He returned and used a super soft washcloth to clean the stickiness from my ass and inner thighs. I watched as he squeezed aloe onto his hands then rubbed them together, warming it up. He did little things like that for people all the time, and I wasn’t sure he realized how much it meant. I loved that about him, but I also knew he was exhausting himself.

Even if I hadn’t heard his team pushing him to take some time away, I’d have known how much he needed it. I hoped he would stay on the island after everything was settled, whether he wanted me to stay with him or not. The thought of leaving, of not seeing him again, at least not for a very long time, made me feel cold.

“Do you need a blanket?” I was startled to see X standing by the bed.

“What?”

“You’re shivering.”

“Oh, I… I didn’t even realize.”

“Come on. Let’s get you under the covers.”

He pulled the sheet and the duvet back, and I slid over so he could slip under next to me.

“I cracked the balcony door so we won’t get hot later.”

“Are you staying with me now?”

X looked hesitant, but he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“I thought you were the one who made the rules.”

“I’m feeling magnanimous.”

“Ooh. Big word.”

“I do play a convincing academic.”

“Is it really play?”

X blushed, and I loved that I could get that reaction from him.

“Xavier?” I used that name deliberately. It had seemed to mean something to him earlier.

His eyes widened for a moment, and I heard him draw in his breath.

“Tell me about the real you.”

“I’m full of contradictions.”

“I want to know about all of them, about every facet of who you are.”

He leaned his head to the side as if considering. “Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“I have a fantasy I’ve never shared with anyone.”

My mind whirled. Was he about to reveal some secret kink? If he was hesitant after what we’d just done, would it be something I could handle? “What is it?”

“I think it might be easier if I showed you. Stay right here, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He pulled on the robe I’d worn when I’d gone to search for him and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him.