Opaque Melodies (Coveting Delirium 1)

“I’m saying you disturb the peace I struggle to keep. Peace I need in order to maintain the madhouse otherwise known as my head.”

An uncomfortable silence expanded between us. He stared at me as if I was a strange phenomenon, an anomaly.

Unsure why I just disclosed to him I was mentally flawed, I leaned back in my chair, casting my gaze to the ocean beyond his private stretch of beach.

Being outside in the sun, feeling the gentle breeze and listening to the waves roll in, it was nice. I could almost relax.

“Sanity is nothing but a limited mind,” he remarked.

“Are you admitting to being insane?”

“You’ve seen the art on my walls.”

I blinked and glanced over at him. Was that a yes? Was he screwing with me?

“While I appreciate the attempt to make me feel better, having to live with an unpredictable mind can be hell on earth sometimes.” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, brushing it out of my face. “I really don’t know why I’m even telling you all of this.”

“Like I told you last night, I’m a good listener.”

“Wasn’t that just a line to get in my pants?”

He threw his head back and laughed, catching me by surprise. “I had no intentions of fucking you. When I decide to let you have my cock, I won’t need to say a word, you’ll be begging for it.”

Heat rifled up the back of my neck. “C-can we focus on the topic at hand?”

“Me and your sister had an understanding after your father essentially pawned her off on me.”

“We cohabitated. You won’t find pictures of us because that isn’t the kind of relationship it was.”

That put a few things in perspective, though I was unaware of her dad pawning her off. I’d always imagined them being close considering she was the child he meant to have.

“You didn’t love her?” I found myself asking.

He gave me a quizzical look. I could tell he was considering his next words carefully. “Like I said, it wasn’t that kind of relationship. I’ve only loved three women. My grandmother, my mother, and a different kind of love for a woman I knew almost two decades ago.”

He reached for the glass of amber liquid beside his dish, which had me reaching for the lemon-water next to mine.

I knew when Meg had first mentioned a husband, she’d gushed about him in a long drawn out message. I was certain The L word was frequently mentioned, but I couldn’t argue the dynamics of their relationship.

That wasn’t really any of my business. It’d be hypocritical of me to pull the sibling card when any other time I thought of Meg I pictured a stranger.

I sucked on a partially melted ice-cube, rolling the taste of bittersweet lemon around with my tongue.

“What about you? You’re not exactly falling into my arms sobbing inconsolably over losing a sibling,” Alaric pointed out.

“She’s a stranger to me. I feel more guilty about not knowing her than anything else,” I admitted honestly.

“I thought coming here would help me connect to her somehow, make up for not being there for her. Instead all I’ve done is this.” I spun a finger between us.

“This?” he grinned at me. “Give this time, you’ll come to appreciate what I’m offering.”

“I don’t want it.”

“You’re so damn stubborn,” he sighed. “You don’t even know what it is.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m sure you’ve got a bevy of women dying to move in and take Meg’s place whenever you’re ready. Seeing as you’re pretty much over her loss after only a week. It’s not my business or my problem.”

He opened his mouth to reply, downing the rest of his drink instead.

Feeling my lids growing heavy, I withheld a yawn and propped my elbow on the table.

I turned my head, trying to remove the itching sensation from whatever was touching cheek. Feeling it again a second later, I swatted, grasping nothing but air.

Peeling my eyes open, I was met with a vivid view of Alaric’s pool and the ocean.

The churning of the sea seemed louder than usual. I sat forward and realized I was sitting on one of the plush lounge chairs with a soft throw covering me.

Glancing back at the table, I saw everything had been cleared away. Alaric was nowhere in sight. I’d obviously dozed off, but I didn’t remember moving over here.

Grasping either side of the lounge’s wooden arms, I pushed myself to a standing position. My equilibrium spun, causing the whole world to tilt for a few seconds. I felt sick.

When everything was righted again, I walked into the house, travelling through the great room in search of Alaric. There wasn’t any distinguishable sound coming from inside. He could’ve been anywhere.

I was nearly past the kitchen when from the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of the basement door. It was wide open. The entire time I’d been here I had never seen it open.