Always the One (Always and Forever 1)

“Let’s take a bath?” He grabs my hand and pulls me with determination, toward the bathroom.

“But I thought we would, you know.” I point back at the bed as we move into the open bathroom, it’s big enough to fit five people comfortably, same with the Jacuzzi tub.

“Don’t worry, I plan to make today up to you, baby. But I want to take a bath with my woman. They are your favorite, are they not?”

I blush, yeah, they are.

Trey removes my shirt and then I remove his, we do this with each item of clothing—slowly and piece by piece. The intimacy this builds strikes the desire to make up with him. I feel a carnal desire to use our bodies to say a deeper sorry, one we can’t reach with words.

I watch his perfect body and the way it moves toward the tub. Every movement is precise and without flaw, he moves with such confidence and surety; I can’t help but be turned on by his ways.

He starts the water, adding the lavender bath salts, making the water turn a soft purple. The smell is so enticing and my senses are on overdrive. Today, I’ve experienced so many emotions—nervous, happy, angry, sad, and now desire. I’m still teetering on the edge of giving in and pushing him away. I am unsure still of how I am going to handle forgiving him for today.

I watch him take a seat in the tub, getting a view of his tight ass before he sinks into the scented water. God, he’s a walking, living, breathing dream, and I’m the lucky girl who gets to keep him.

He scoots to the middle of the huge tub and reaches his hand out to me.

“Come here, beautiful.” I climb in one foot after the other, my hand in his keeping me steady. I know he wants me straddling him, so I abide. Putting one leg on each side of him, I sink down. Once I’m fully seated atop him, his lips are like a magnet, they instantly cling to my neck—licking and inhaling my scent. His strong, large, calloused hands slide from the dimples in my lower back up to the column of my neck, causing goose bumps to break out over the trail he leaves. He puts my hair in his tight fist and tugs my head gently back.

“Can I mark you again?” I feel his lips hovering over my heavy breast; I’m needy, so damn needy for him. He reaches up with a soapy wet hand and pinches my left nipple; a strangled moan escapes my open mouth. He should know he doesn’t need to ask; my body is his, as his body is mine. We can touch, tease, and take what we need from each other, that’s a part of being in love.

“Yes.” Before I’m finished saying the word, his mouth is on my right breast just above my erect nipple, sucking on the tender skin he marked yesterday.

With everything that happened today and the lingering sadness still looming over me, I break. Everything in me can feel he is hiding something, every connection feels severed, his touch is hot but it shows distance. Hot tears begin rolling down my face. He hears me sob and feels my chest cave in with each heavy cry. His lips leave my skin and he looks up at me petrified.

“Shayla? Wait, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He checks me over, looking anywhere his eyes can from our position.

His eyes look so blue and inviting, reminding me of home. He’s my home, and I don’t think I can handle another thing to jeopardize losing that.

“Please stop jeopardizing us. Please stop hurting our bond,” I cry, dropping my head and bringing my wet hands from around him and up to my face.

“Fuck. Shayla. I’m sorry.” He tries to pull my hands away, but I keep them tight against my hidden face. I preach the façade of a strong woman who won’t take crap from a man and it’s all a show right now. I’m weak where Trey is concerned and though his intentions are pure, his actions are too harsh on my heart.

“I will not do this again, I will stop. I promise that the next time we cross paths—he and I—that I will behave. I don’t want to do this anymore. Fighting with you is fucking shitty. Hurting you is the worst feeling.” Lifting us out of the bath, struggling a little from the way we were sitting, I keep a tight grip around him, my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his shoulder. My face is hidden in the crook of his neck, letting everything wash over me. Getting every bit of emotion I have out.

Laying me on the bed, he hovers over me, resting his body on his forearm while his free hand holds my face. He looks so haunted, there’s secrets he’s hiding and for the first time, I feel more disconnected with Trey than I ever have.

“Please, stop lying, tell me what you’re hiding, why did you hit him, Trey?” I plead, tears still falling and my heart feeling heavy inside my chest.

“Shayla.” He pauses, his teeth biting at his lower lip; I’m sure breaking skin. “He said something, something I just couldn’t hear. I tried, baby, I tried not to go there angry.”

“Baby, what? Please tell me,” I say on a sob, reaching my hands around to cover his face, shaking it lightly. I need him to open up to me; I need to know that what my heart is telling me is true. That Trey couldn’t have reacted the way he did over his own jealousy. I want to and I’ve told him I could forgive him, but I don’t think I truly can unless I know there is something more valid to go on.

“He said…” His blue irises turn dark, a shade so far removed from the vibrancy that usually resides there and it chills me. Suddenly, I’m not sure I’m ready to hear what he’s about to say.

“He said you would soon realize I’m the insecure boy and you’ll want a man who can take my place. Shayla… He told me he wouldn’t stop until he had you.”

“Had me? Trey, I would never be that guy’s girlfriend, you know that. That’s why you hit him? So it is just insecurities.”

“Damn it, Shayla, no. He said he wouldn’t stop until he slept with you!” He leaves the bed on a rush, the heat from his body gone and the cold air hitting my damp body. I shiver as I sit up, reaching for the pillow to give me some coverage. My head spins as I sit up, completely repulsed to think that he said that. Knowing he said that, actually. Trey is a lot of things, but he would never joke or lie about something like this. Comments like that can destroy a woman. Saying you will screw a woman, no matter what, is almost as bad as taking sex from a woman with out her permission.

I feel violated, used, embarrassed…stupid. How did I not see it? Was I that blind to ignore signs that showed me who he really was?

“Shayla?” Trey’s voice interrupts my catastrophic thoughts.

“Huh?” I say, flustered, my eyes bringing him into focus.

“Please tell me you believe me?” he asks. He now has on his pants, although I’m not sure when he put those back on. I’m sure he did it when I blacked out for a hot second.