Always Us (Always and Forever 2)

“Shay, what?”

I suddenly feel nervous, worried she may react in a way I’m not expecting. A lecture? Disappointment? Something other than thrilled, I don’t know.

“Through every ultimate fall?” I question, using our thing, pulling a big part of our friendship into play.

“Through every fucking ultimate fall, baby.” She cradles my face and I close my eyes. Here goes nothing.

“I guess the best way to do this is to just come out with it…” Letting out a deep breath, I share my secret. “Lana, Trey and I are pregnant, I’m pregnant.” Unmoving, we both stare at each other. Nothing shows on her face at first, sending my stomach into a fit of nerves. The first sign that tells me she’s still breathing is the crystal wall of tears building in her hazy brown eyes.

“You’re what?” One lone tear falls, and I quickly reach up and wipe it away.

“We’re going to have a baby, Lana, and I know we’re young and we aren’t married yet, but I can’t feel terrified, I tried. All I can seem to feel like this is my purpose,” I ramble on.

“There’s nothing wrong with you getting pregnant, Shayla. Oh my God, you’re going to be a mother,” she speaks, her words shocking me.

So, she’s happy? I can’t tell, especially when she drops her head in her hands and sobs—ugly, straight from your gut sobs.

“Lana, hey, are you sad? Upset? What’s wrong, please tell me.” Looking up, a smile splayed across her face indicates it’s neither.

“No, I am so fucking happy for you, baby. God, I just…” She pauses, now looking reserved, like she needs to get something off her chest.

“What? You can tell me, please tell me what’s going on in your head,” I plead, I need her support, I need her opinion, I need my best friend.

“God, this feels surreal,” she states, shaking her head and wiping away the rest of her fallen tears. “You know what I think?” She changes gears, and I shake my head rapidly, I don’t know what she thinks and that’s nerve-racking, I want her to tell me.

“No, what?” Lifting my shirt, she places her hand on my stomach, leaning her face down toward it.

“I think…” She kisses my belly, and I smirk. “Our babies are going to be best friends, just like us.” Sitting back up, her hands don’t move, and I laugh, shaking my head. Obviously, they will be.

“Yeah, they will be, so you better hurry and get yourself knocked up so they won’t be years apart in age.” I laugh, putting my hand over hers, where it still rests on my tummy. I look bloated, but that’s it, I’m not far enough along to be showing.

“I already did.” She bites her lip and I tilt my head, my brows drawing in, in confusion.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Shayla, you remember that test crazy bitch Gwen said she saw?”

I cringe, remembering that day. “Unfortunately, why?”

“I forgot to take it out of the trash, Shayla…that was mine, I’m pregnant.”

Now it’s my turn to be still and silent. Is this a joke? If so, it’s not funny.

“Don’t joke, L.” I tilt my head and analyze her face, looking for any hint of humor. When I see none, my hand leaves hers on my stomach and I cover my mouth, letting out a loud gasp.

“You’re pregnant?” I ask through my hand, the muffled question echoing around us.

“Yes, I am, I found out a couple of weeks ago. I’m ten weeks…”

“How come you didn’t tell me?” I ask while engulfing her in my arms.

“Shay.” She pulls away and I let her, my hands now finding her tummy. “I was scared because I knew you were still so upset with the news of your health condition, I didn’t want to hurt you. I was so fucking scared.” The tears roll quickly down her soft cheeks. I hate that she was scared to tell me her secret, because she thought my reaction was going to be everything but happy.

“God, no, I would never—ever be anything other than thrilled for you and my brother. Ever. And oh my God, Kingston, how did he react?” I ask, excitedly. He must be over the moon.

“Um, that’s another thing, I haven’t told him yet. I’m petrified.” She trails off, and I see it more present than ever in her eyes—fear. Lana’s still keeping the black flame burning; she’s not over the abuse.

I feel to blame for part of her fear—we all do. Trey, Kings, and I feel like we failed Lana all those years, when we stood back and did nothing. Joel was bad, he was sick, he was disgusting. But he had connections, one word or whisper of Lana leaving and everyone she loved, including her, could have been severely hurt, or worse. Not a day goes by without the guilt creeping into my mind, especially when I see her and Kingston so close, yet so far apart.