Forever the One (Always and Forever 3)
“No, I won’t, trust me.” I know she’s standing there pouting, it’s such a Lana thing to do. She’s sassy, it’s part of her finding her freedom again.
“Then hang up,” I challenge her. There’s silence on each end of the line. I’m calm and collected, she heated and breathy. Staying silent, she doesn’t hang up.
Hook, line and sinker. She’s mine.
“There’s something missing here. There’s no sassy brunette with wide hips and a round ass tempting me with the sway of her walk. No pouty lips smarting off to me or making me laugh. No beautiful brown round eyes looking at me with a flirty smile. In fact, you’re on the phone pissing me off and accusing me of some bullshit because you’re jealous.” She stays silent, her breathing coming in loud through the phone.
“Well, guess what, my Queen? There’s only one woman I want to be buried deep in tonight and she’s being a stubborn brat. You want me home baby, all you had to do was ask.”
Lana gasps then huffs again. “Fucking
jerk!” she yells, hanging up the phone.
I pull the phone away, looking at the screen for a minute smirking, debating to call her back or not. I chose not to. She’s mad and turned on now, so I’m gonna enjoy my night with the boys and my sister, then I’ll go home and rile her ass down. I’m a man, not a boy. I don’t cheat on women like I did as a teenager, especially not on my Queen. She should know better than to come to me with that. I want to enjoy my night out and not think about whatever the fuck that was.
I’m exhausted by the time I walk into Lana’s apartment. My back is sore from this morning’s workout and all I want to do is crawl into bed with my girl. It’s barely eleven o’ clock when I drag myself down the hall. Stopping just outside her bedroom door, knowing she’s gonna be there on the other side waiting for a fight after our conversation on the phone earlier, I take a few quick seconds to prepare myself for what’s just opposite the ajar door.
Opening the door slowly, expecting her to be pacing and waiting for me, I’m surprised when she’s sitting on the middle of her bed in another one of my t-shirts with her laptop. She looks beautiful makeup free with her newly cut shoulder length hair. When did she do that? It’s short and sexy, curled in loose waves and I so badly want to reach out and caress it.
I approach her slowly, sizing up her mood.
Finally she speaks first, “I’m sorry.”
Wait, did Lana James just say she was fucking sorry? I try not to look too taken aback, but her apology has me a tad dumbfounded. Lana isn’t usually the first one to say sorry.
“You should be. You know better than that, baby,” I reply arrogantly.
“Kingston, I didn’t have to apologize,” she snaps, closing the laptop.
“Bullshit Lana, you call me after you,” I stand in front of her bed, taking off my shirt, throwing it on the floor, pointing directly at her, “told me you would try and do this thing with me. But no, me going out with my friends and family, completely innocent, by the way, made me the bad guy. Getting nothing but a punch to my fucking stomach.” Opening the drawer I named mine, I grab my sweats and remove my pants and briefs in one swift motion, pulling the sweats on.
I don’t miss the way her breath hitches as she bites her lip when she sees my semi hard cock. Yeah, that happens when I see her. Sue me.
I try to silence the monster in my pants. Grabbing a pillow I leave for the couch, guess I’m sleeping there. I could go home but I’m too fucking tired to. Lana stays in her room, not saying anything back to me as I leave. And fuck if I don’t want to wave a white flag in the air and say I’m sorry. Fighting tonight wasn’t on the agenda, but I instigated it so now I have to deal with the consequences.
Turning back before I clear her doorway, I look at her. “I’m a lot of things, baby, but a cheater I’m not. I know he fucked you up, but I’m not him. You’re everything I want, the only woman I want to fuck, love, or touch. I can’t take this shit, Lana. You promised and you let me down.” Her face looks pained as I leave, my words striking a nerve in her. I can’t force her to love me. She can either take us or leave it, I won’t force her anymore.
Setting up camp, I lie on the couch throwing the blanket over my legs, leaving my chest exposed. I toss my arm over my eyes in complete defeat.
I’m tired of it. We fight, we make love, then we fight some more. For someone so afraid of abuse, she sure knows how to string out emotional abuse. Letting me in and then pushing me away just as fast. That’s what it feels like to me at least. I’m a smug, selfish asshole and she’s a stubborn pain in my ass. I really fucking hate that I can’t pick who I love. But if we don’t figure out what we’re going to do, it’s going to burn us down to a pile of ashes.
“Baby.” I hear her soft, reserved voice crackle through the air. Moving my arm, I look up and see her standing in the frame of the hallway. She looks so fucking broken, just as much as me. We both know this shit isn’t good. We’re both tired of the fighting, the giving in. I wave that damn white flag. She promised to try and I promised to be patient. Being a man of my word, I hold up my end of the deal. “Yeah, baby?” I sit up, swinging my legs off the couch and planting my feet on the floor. I hold out my hand for her. Walking toward me, Lana moves slowly, reservation in her every step.
“I know you’d never cheat. I just...” She pauses, stopping to stand right in front of me. I lean forward and wrap my arms around her waist, placing my hands on the back of her bare thighs, her warm skin heating me up. “I’m insecure with myself. I’m pregnant and I know that means I’m going to get bigger. Joel told me I was fat in high school and I was smaller than I am now.” I shake my head, her little whimpers causing that bottomless ache in my fucking chest to hollow out.
“Now that I’m pregnant, that’s going to be worse. I won’t be tight and thin forever.” My hands tighten, gripping her thighs hard. He called her fucking fat? Is that a joke?
“First off, fuck him. Don’t let what he told you mean anything. He called you fat because he knew it would make you insecure and you would doubt your worth. You have never been fat.” My words echo, sounding angry because I am.
“Second, you’re concerned I’d cheat over the changes your bodies gonna make while growing our child? What kind of man would that make me to do something like that? Huh?” She shrugs, dropping her face and fixating on the floor.
A driving passion to heal her and hush her demons fuels my next proclamation. “You think I don’t find you fucking irresistible all the time? I’m a fucking animal baby, my instincts to mate and claim you aren’t like other men. I need to mark you with me and the best way to do so is with our child. Nothing turns me on more than knowing that even when I’m not with you, men will see my mark on you. My baby inside you, growing strong and healthy every day.” I lift her shirt just enough to expose her skimpy thong and tight stomach, she still has abs above her tiny baby bump.
I see so many changes in her already. She glows more, her skin even more fucking soft than before, her arousal more mouthwatering. I could smell her from across the room. Like a lion smells his lioness when she’s ready to mate. Her soft honey brown eyes kill me as they begin to hood with desire.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you, ever. I’m way too fucking desperate for you. I don’t even see other women, and when I do, I compare them to you. Thinking to myself they got the shitty end of the stick because they don’t have shit on the Queen—my Queen.”
She thinks calling me a cheater riles me up, she should see what it does when she calls my desire for her a bluff.