Forever Us (Always and Forever 4)

Hilary: You make me bold. Lol. What can I say? You have a way about you.

She swerves the Lana part like a parked cone in the road.

Me: Oh yeah, and what is that?

I can’t believe I’m entertaining this, but no one has any idea how it feels to be chased and wanted after years of chasing and wanting someone who pushes you away any chance they get.

Hilary: You’re perfect, Kings, handsome, smug...cocky (in every single way).

“Hey! What are you smiling at? Just seconds ago, you were all brooding and shit,” Trey announces himself, catching me off guard.

“Nothing, just messaging an old friend.” I look down one more time at the message and debate a response, but I decide I don’t want to egg her on. The cocky joke was a bit too much.

“Old friend we grew up with?”

I shake my head and lock my phone, sliding it into my jeans. “No one.” I take a sip of my beer and cringe, the shit tasting fancy.

“Yeah, they didn’t have Corona, just some fancy new generation shit. But no, really, who?”

I gaze over at him, debating what to say. I told him Lana and I are over, so maybe he won’t think it’s a big deal that I’m talking to Hilary. Fuck, I haven’t cheated—can’t when you have no one to cheat on. That, and I haven’t even thought about fucking her once, nor would I ever want to. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever fuck again. My palette isn’t bored. Shit is fucking addicted to one exotic taste, and I will never be full. Nothing will ever taste as good as what Lana James did.

“Hilary,” I say coolly, waiting for his reaction. Maybe if I seem unfazed, he will too.

“Hilary? Your fucking ex, Hilary?”

“Yeah, she found me on Facebook.” I shrug, not caring in the slightest that she misses me, because I don’t miss her. The truth is, I’m hurt and pissed off, and I just want someone to fucking need me.

“No, fuck off, Kings. Don’t do that shit just because you’re mad.” He gives me his stern eyes, his jaw tight and his mouth in a hard line.

“I don’t have any intentions to hook up with her. I’m just talking,” I defend myself.

“Bullshit, you’re pissed, all while fucking missing your girl. Don’t go pissing in another person’s yard just to numb it all.” He takes a swig of his fancy fucking drink and I shake my head.

“I don’t want her. What is the harm in talking to her?”

“That! That in itself is harm, bro. Have you met Lana? Joel cheated, a lot, even with Hilary! You want that shit on top of everything else you two have going on?”

Fuck, he has a point. I forgot Joel fucked Hilary after I dropped her ass.

“We aren’t together. I told her last night I was done. And besides, I don’t fucking want Hilary.”

“Then the fuck you talking to her for? Huh?” he yells, and luckily the music is loud and the drunk club-goers are selfishly lost in booze and hormones.

“I don’t know! Fuck, Trey! I don’t know.” I lower my voice, dropping my head and rubbing my eyes. I’m fucking exhausted right now. “Do you know what it’s like to both love and resent the mother of your child? Your best friend?” I ask, turning my head and dropping my hands to my lap in defeat.

“No, I don’t,” He huffs, shaking his head.

“You and Shayla had your issues, but you didn’t touch the fucking surface of what Lana and I have to face. Okay? You don’t get it. Fuck, I don’t get it!”

“Calm down, man. Breathe.” Trey attempts to get me to calm down, but my rage has already taken over. The loud music isn’t helping, and I feel I’m about to drive my fist through a wall or any fucking guy in the club.

“I need to get out of this shithole.” Sliding out of my side of the booth, I make a hasty retreat toward the exit. Over it. Fucking done with this.

“Kings! Fuck, wait up, man!” Trey yells after me as I walk down the busy Friday night streets of downtown Seattle. Drunk girls whine and scream obnoxiously while horny, desperate men do anything to get a taste of them. I ignore it all and keep walking. Trey finally catches up to me and keeps a steady pace.

“You’re right. Shayla and I are different and we were able to work on our shit. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

“I regret it all!” I scream, catching attention of other pedestrians, causing them to take an extra few steps around us in order to avoid my wide, muscular, angry body. “I regret being open to love when I swore I never would. I’m miserable here, Trey, and the only thing I want to do—God, the only thing I want to do...” I throw my hands up then place them back down on my hips and stare up into the night sky. I lower my voice, trying to calm myself. “The only thing I want to do is talk to my best friend, but she’s not there anymore. I don’t know where she is.”