Indiscretion

My men had followed behind without me knowing. I hadn’t given any thought to them as I’d fled the palace. Though we were at peace, they never let me go two feet without a shadow. That was Nicholas’ doing, his and my little sister’s.

She worried with a child’s worry for her adored brother the king, and he had ever looked after his friend. The two of them had cooked up this scheme one night over a game of chess while I read in a chair by the fire. To satisfy my sister and give her peace of mind, I’d given in.

I took my brother to his rooms and laid him gently on his bed. He’d been shot through the heart. In sleep he bore the peaceful look of the boy I remembered from before our mother was gone. “Rest in peace dear brother.” I whispered the words just as the physician came in behind me.

“Your majesty I will see to him now.” The older man who had seen to my family for almost three generations had tears in his eyes. I moved out of the way with one last look at my brother. My emotions were tightly leashed as I left the room.

“How did this happen?” I found the men who had gone into the forest with my brother awaiting me in the outer chamber. They all looked duly crestfallen but I will deal with them later. I looked to his guards for answers.

“Your majesty it was a most unfortunate accident. Your brother was going after a roebuck when an arrow felled him. He did not give warning that he would break away and head into the trees.”

I listened to his explanation as I read the expressions upon the faces of the others in the room. Something didn’t feel right. My brother had been a sore disappointment in the years since our sire’s passing but one thing I knew he was good at was hunting. There’s no way my brother would’ve made such an error in judgment unless…

“Was my brother in his cups when this happened?” Only Crompton seemed to know the answer, or was the only one willing to give it.

“As a matter of fact he was majesty.” I turned a look on him that had him swallowing hard and taking a step back.

“Very well.” I left the room and went back to my brother. “Your majesty I am not yet done…” I ignored the physician as I moved in close to the body. When I was through I looked at my brother one last time before leaving the room.

***

I saw my dear, sweet sister in law as she sat at table with her ladies. She still looked a bit drawn and I wished to go to her but thought better of it. I had already shared my condolence when first she arrived to bury her husband.

She stole a glance my way and I saw such sorrow there, that it tore at me. I won’t delve too deeply into why her pain should affect me thus. I had stopped longing for her a long time ago. At least I had put my longing aside, burying it deep under duty and loyalty.

My brother had married four years ago at twenty-one to the daughter of one of our father’s greatest allies. At the time of his nuptials I had been too busy securing my throne to pay much attention to women other than the occasional roll in the hay or a quick fuck in the king’s privy chamber; but I had taken notice of her great beauty when first we met.

It was a waste of course. I knew, but I hadn’t stepped in, hadn’t interfered. Frederick had never recovered from father’s death, believing that had he accompanied us instead of going on ahead to the palace, that he might’ve been able to do something.

He’d never quite come back to himself since then and though I knew he wasn’t ready for marriage, I thought that maybe the girl could help him.

It hadn’t taken long to see that there was no hope for it, but by then it was too late, and I had stayed away more and more because of the lust I bore my brother’s wife. That was something I could never do, would never want on my conscience. And the lady was above reproach so there had been no danger of her falling into my bed like so many others had.

But now my brother was gone. Dead in an apparent accident, which I still suspected but had no proof to refute and nowhere to start looking. I have been in mourning these last few days, reliving old pains, old loss.

The hall was a little less exuberant than was the norm as was to be expected. I watched my little sister, the only family I had left. She was such a happy child for one who had suffered so much loss.