Where Sea Meets Sky

The sky above us begins to lighten. I want to roll over onto my back to watch the stars disappear one by one but I know I’m only breathing because Josh is holding me and keeping me warm. My face feels frozen. I know that it’s terminally cold out.

“Hey,” he says into my ear, voice groggy. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I whisper.

“How did you sleep?”

“I slept. That was more than I thought would happen.”

“Same here. It’s going to be freezing the moment we break apart.”

“I know. Let’s just stay like this until the sun rises.”

But we get up before that happens. Even though the cold is bitter and biting, I’m glad that we’re on our feet just as the sun slides up from the Humboldt Mountains to the east. It paints the other peaks, making their fresh snow glow rose gold.

The little lake near us—which, according to Josh is called a tarn—is like a mirror, gradually lightening to match the sky, while the valleys on either side of the summit are all covered with a thick layer of mist. Today we’re above the clouds.

We turn to make our way down the hill just in time to see a couple coming up; an older man with his camera out, a woman behind him, and just behind her, coming into sight, is Amber.

“Oh my god!” Amber cries out, running for us. She wraps her arms around me and then Josh, her eyes watering. “You guys, what happened? Oh my god, I thought you were dead, you never came back, I thought you were just going for a bit but then this morning you weren’t back. I was so worried!”

The couple make their way to us. The man smiles, his bushy mustache moving. “Didn’t quite make it last night?” he asks, his accent Swedish or Danish or something.

Josh shakes his head. “No, the flashlight died and it wasn’t safe to make it down without it.”

The man nods and his pale partner, her head half covered by a knit cap, hands us a thermos full of coffee. “For you,” she says. “To wake up, though with this view maybe you don’t need it.”

I thank her profusely, feeling embarrassed, and take a grateful sip. I pass it over to Josh, meeting his eyes briefly.

Amber squeezes my arm. “We were going to get the ranger to come with us just in case but I guess he went to rescue someone else last night.”

“Yah,” the man says, lifting up his camera and peering through the lens. “In the fog I think someone fell down a ravine and broke their leg. Had to be helicoptered out.”

Shit. That could have been us. I’m suddenly even more grateful for Josh and that he kept us alive up here on the mountain.

Josh looks at the man. “Not to seem ungrateful or anything, but how come you only came now and not last night?”

Amber looks chagrined, biting her lip. “We didn’t tell anyone that you didn’t come back.”

“What?” I ask.

Her eyes widen in shame. “But I set my alarm for this morning and when I was getting ready, I ran into Janne and Ana here who were going to see the sunrise and I just tagged along. I even suggested getting the ranger, but with him gone, this was our best bet.”

“Wait,” Josh said slowly. “Why didn’t you tell anyone last night?”

She looks away. “I thought maybe you did this on purpose. That you wanted to be alone. You know, like it was part of a plan.” When she looks back, she’s giving Josh a loaded stare.

He frowns. “I only came because I wasn’t about to let Gemma come here on her own.”

“I know, I know,” she says quickly.

So was Amber trying to play matchmaker between Josh and me? I could have sworn that she was into him. Why would she do this?

I push those thoughts aside. “But,” I begin, “if that’s what you thought . . . what was Nick’s excuse?”

She shrugs with one shoulder. “He said you’d be back at some point.” Her voice lowers. “And then he fell asleep. I didn’t bother waking him this morning.”

Heat floods my cold cheeks. Again, I’m embarrassed and hurt.

The man, Janne, clears his throat. “Well, I hope the rest of your day gets better. Glad to see that you’re all in one piece.” I know what he’s not saying: I hope you have fun dealing with that shithead back at the hut.

And that’s when I know it’s over with the shithead. Ending it with Nick will throw my future up in the air and will leave me naked and vulnerable, but I have enough self-respect to kick him to the curb. He didn’t even care. I was in the dark with Josh, way past sunset, in the mountains, in the wilderness, and he didn’t care. He just didn’t care. He fucking went to sleep instead.

How could he sleep knowing I was out there? Even if he really does believe I can take care of myself, how could his ego let me be out there with Josh?

Had I been sleeping with a monster this whole time?

We say goodbye to the couple, and as we walk down the hill I ask Amber, “Did Nick seem mad?”

“Uh,” she says. “He didn’t have an outburst or anything but there was a vein popping out on his forehead and it seemed like he was trying to grind his bottom jaw right out.”

So he was at least being possessive. That sounded more like him.

After a few beats, Josh, in a low, hard voice, says, “Gemma, I know I’ve already asked you this before. I know you’re going to tell me to fuck off or whatever. But I have to know, because I don’t get it.” He pauses and I hold my breath. “Why the fuck are you with that asshole?”