The Apprehension (Unexpected Circumstances 6)

Branford turned me toward him, and he cupped my face.

“That will not happen again,” he said.

The words were not unfamiliar. How many times had Branford made a similar promise? Though I knew he endeavored to keep such oaths, there were possibilities that were simply too far beyond his control, and his own desires could not keep up with the world around him or his duty to his kingdom. However familiar the words, his look and tone were completely different than they had been before. Gone was the desperation I had often seen in his eyes, and gone was the sense of urgency in his voice. His eyes were calm and intense and his voice laced with collected determination.

One of his hands went to the back of my head, and he leaned closer to put his forehead against mine.

“Never again,” he said.

We returned to our rooms, leaving the guard to spread the word about Hadebrand’s deception and the bounty on the heads of those involved. Sir Rylan was to ride back toward Seacrest and return with the soldiers we would need to protect Silverhelm from Edgar’s army. The betrayal of Nelle and Janet was enough to convince him that Silverhelm deserved protection from an unscrupulous neighbor.

With few words spoken between us, Branford called for our supper, and we ate in our rooms. Afterwards, I offered to make Branford his tea, but he refused it with a raised eyebrow and pulled me close to him instead.

“I may ban tea from the kingdom,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he meant it in jest or not. He collected me into his lap sideways, with my legs across the arm of the chair and my head against his shoulder. “When I think that she could have used more of that…that plant…enough to harm you…Alexandra, it makes me want to find every person she ever touched—relative, ally, friend, or enemy—and destroy them. I want to remove all evidence that she ever existed.”

“She is gone now,” I said though my words brought me no comfort. They did nothing to soothe Branford, either.

“And you,” he said suddenly as he pointed his finger at my face, “you drank something she made for you every day and never told me of it?”

I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, but he would not allow me to hide my face.

“I did not think it important,” I finally whispered as I felt a hot tear escape from my eye. Branford wiped it away with this thumb. “It was…only tea.”

“Only tea,” he repeated and then looked up toward the heavens with a sigh. “Only tea, indeed.”

“I am sorry, my king,” I said softly.

“Do not apologize, Alexandra,” he said. “It was not of your own doing, and I find no fault with you. I just wish…wish I had realized…been more observant…”

He stopped and took my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

“Never again,” he said, and his eyes and tone matched how he had spoken on the practice field. “I will not miss anything again. I will always be at your side, and I will know exactly who is near you, what is said to you, and what is given to you. I will not be so careless again. You belong with me and I with you.”

“You have always cared for me,” I said, reminding him.

“It has not been enough.”

“You cannot always be near me.”

“Really?” he responded with a raised eyebrow. “Watch me.”

“What if I am in the Women’s Room?”

“Then my mother will be in there with you,” Branford said, “and I will be standing outside the door until you emerge again.”

“You cannot watch me always.” I scoffed.

“I most certainly can,” Branford said, his words insistent. “I will not leave your presence. If there is distance between us, I will always keep my eye on you to make sure you are safe.”

“You do not have to do that, Branford.”

“But I do,” he responded softly. He stood slowly with me still wrapped up in his strong arms. “Everything I have done has been inadequate. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe from harm. I told you to trust no one but did not abide by my own words. I allowed vulnerabilities and left wide-open gaps within my defenses. Part of that was allowing others to be responsible for your safety. I will not allow that again.”

He dropped me to my feet near the changing area and helped me into a nightdress.

“Nelle was right; I did think of my mother when you found Janet,” Branford admitted. “I had told Kimberly many years ago what had happened to her. It never occurred to me she would use it against me. Again, I trusted too much.”

“There are some you trust,” I said quietly. “Parnell and Ida.”