Thick

“Here. If that’s not enough, you call that number and I’ll make sure you get what you need,” I say as I hand him a grand. I don’t think his phone costs near that much, but I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid conflict and I’m looking for the best way to do it now.

“Oh, I will.” He’s smug as he tucks the money away and then glances at Teeny. “Just keep your chihuahua off me.”

Teeny makes a sound, but before she can say a word I reach out and snatch his neck with my bare hand and the crowd audibly gasps.

“You can insult me all you want, and you can claim that your flip phone is worth more than a thousand dollars. But the second you say one bad word about my angel I’ll snap your fucking neck.” He makes a gurgling sound as he claws at my hand and his feet dangle off the ground. “Now apologize to the lady.”

“Sorry,” he says quickly with the last of his air.

I squeeze him harder for just a second to make sure he gets the message and then let him drop to the ground. The crowd steps back as I grab the bags I put down earlier and then turn to face Teeny.

She’s taken a step away from me and her eyes are wide with shock and maybe even fear. In that moment I hate what I’ve done and wish that I could change the last five minutes of my life.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and I turn to walk back to our building.

Chapter Five

Teeny

I walk next to Bull in silence, unsure if I should keep my trap shut or say something. The longer I’m quiet the worse I might be making it. I went from talking nonstop to mute. Why did he say sorry to me? I feel like I’m missing something here, but I don’t know what it is. What does he have to be sorry for? That man needed to be knocked down a time or two. What a freaking jerk.

The walk back to my apartment isn’t long and with each step I know we’re getting closer to me not seeing him again for days. I can’t do that all over again because I’ve been miserable. How can I miss someone I don’t even know that well? It’s going to be worse this time since we aren’t parting on the best of terms and I don’t want him to actively avoid me.

The mood between us has shifted and I don’t think asking him for one of those cooking lessons is on the agenda night now. If I’m honest I’m not sure I can read his mood. Can someone be super pissed and sad at the same time?

When we get back to our building I loathe each step we take up to our floor. I glance between our two doors and I hate the space between them. I know it’s because I’ve spent too much time checking out my peephole to see if Bull is coming or going.

Twice I debated going over and asking for something like sugar or flour. I chickened out, scared he’d ask what I was making and I had nothing I could use flour or sugar for. I also didn’t want to be a liar.

I wished so many times I just had the courage to walk over to his door and knock on it again like I did that first day, but then I had a reason. This time it would be clear I wanted to hang out, and I learned early in life a lot of people don’t enjoy hanging out with me. I’m either messing something up or talking too much.

After about a day of not seeing Bull I started making up the silliest reasons to go in and out of my front door. I went for a run that lasted three minutes because I tripped over the curb right outside the building and I knew it was a bad idea. But even with all the reasons I made up to go in and out of my door I still didn’t run into him. I started to think he was avoiding me.

Today can’t end this way. I just can’t let it. I’ve gone from having so much fun to empty inside. I’ve been trying to figure out this feeling that took up residence inside of me since I’ve been apart from Bull. There’s an emptiness and it vanished the moment I opened my door and saw Bull standing there. Not only had he been standing there but he was coming to see me.

Now that hole is coming back as I take my key out of my pocket and put it in the lock. When I open the door Bull follows me into my place and goes straight for my kitchen. He puts the groceries down on the counter and his gaze sweeps over my home. He takes everything in and it’s still kind of a mess. I have too much stuff and not enough room for everything without it looking cluttered.