Irrevocable (Evan Arden 5)

“Evan, were you captured?”

“Yeah.” I barely utter the single word.

Alina rubs my neck again and then runs her hand up and down my arm.

“I’m not going to ask you about it,” she says.

“You aren’t?”

“No.” She shakes her head and gives me a half-smile. “I have the feeling you’ve been asked about it enough. If you had wanted to talk about it, you would have.”

Tightening my hold on her, I bury my face against her lavender-scented skin. This is why I wanted her here and not some other hooker. She doesn’t push.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Her hand returns to the back of my head, and I feel her lips press against my hair. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and I don’t need to know more about it. I just want to help you forget it for a while.”

Forgetting. Forgetting is good. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s good. Unfortunately, trying to forget never really works. Even as I hold on to her, flashes in my mind bring it all back. There’s pain. There’s loneliness. There’s blood.

The thought of blood brings my thoughts to the recent past—the killings at Marcello’s hangout and Felisa’s body as it falls into the hole.

A hole. I put her in a hole. I never do that—not to anyone.

But I had.

*****

It’s cold and dark. There should be a fire burning in the fireplace, but there isn’t. Did I forget to stoke it before we went to bed?

There’s a hand on my cheek, but it slides away. The bed beside me grows cold.

“Lia?”

I can barely see her outline at the door. She has a bag in her hand.

“I can’t do it anymore, Evan. I just can’t.”

“I was going to be better.” I make the promise to her, but she walks out the door. I follow, but she’s already on the front porch. Running, I trip in the doorway and fall into a hole. I shake my head to clear it and try to wipe dirt off my face, but my hands are bound.

“Is someone there? Anyone?” I’m panting, sweating. My stomach aches from being bent over for so long, and my eyes burn when I try to open them.

How long has it been? How many days? I can’t count them anymore.

“Someone? Please, someone answer me!”

“Please…please…. I don’t want to be alone anymore! Please, don’t leave me alone!

“I’m right here.” The voice is soft and soothing, but it’s not enough. I grip at the body beside me, pulling it closer until I can smell the scent of her skin.

“Don’t leave me!”

“I’m not leaving, Evan. I promise. I’m right here.”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” I can’t control the tears. When I try to speak, I can only choke out words. “Don’t want to be alone…please…don’t leave me alone.”

“Shh…I’ve got you, Evan.”

“Stay with me!”