Specimen

Fingers brush the space behind my ear, and my vision returns.

I’m in the virtual training room, still sitting on the interface chair. There are no sirens, no flashing red lights. Riley is at my side, smiling.

“What the hell was that?” My heart pounds in my chest, and sweat coats my skin. The fingers of my right hand are clenched tightly as if I’m still holding the chair leg. I can’t release my grip though there is nothing there to hold on to.

“Wow, Sten,” Riley says. “That was amazing.”

I look around the familiar room again, beginning to comprehend. I’m exactly where I started. I haven’t left the simulation room at all, and Riley is walking up to me, uninjured, with long, sure strides.

“It…it was all fake?”

“Yes.” Riley beams at me as she begins to remove electrodes from my body. “You did great!”

I stare at her with incredulity, my eyes drawn to her leg, which is perfectly fine. My heart is still pounding as I grasp what has just happened. I’ve been duped. There was no danger to Riley. It was only another simulation.

“I thought you were hurt,” I say. Despite how quickly I’d reacted to the presence of danger, I am having difficultly switching gears now. Adrenaline pumps through my system without an outlet.

“I needed to know how you would react in a more realistic simulation. When you believe there is no actual danger, like in a simulation, you may react differently than in a real crisis. I had to determine if your behavior would remain consistent.”

She taps some numbers into her tablet, still smiling. I’m trembling as I watch her nonchalant actions. I’ve been listening for the sounds of more footsteps, the appearance of another wave of attackers. I’ve feared for her life, and now I don’t know what to do with the aggression that has built up inside of me.

I lose it.

I shove myself out of the seat, grab the tablet from her hands, and fling it across the room. It shatters as it hits the wall.

“What the fuck, Riley? I thought you were hurt! I didn’t know if I’d be able to get you out or not, and I didn’t know where I was going to take you if I did! For all I knew, the entire fucking city had been overrun by Carson!”

She stares at me, mouth open. She moves backward as I step toward her.

“The others,” I ask, “are they really all dead? The other soldiers like me?”

“No.” She shakes her head quickly. “Not all of them have survived, but most have.”

“How many?”

“Seventy-one.”

All lies.

“Are you going to change my name now? Call me Steso or something?”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head again. She reaches out and tries to touch my arm, but I pull it away from her.

“No! Sten, you need to calm down. Everything is okay. It was only a test.”

My mind and body fight. I want to do as she says, but the anger inside of me continues to grow. I can’t stop my panting breaths, and I can’t slow down the beating of my heart. I can hear it in my ears and feel it in my dick.

“It’s all right, Sten. You passed the test, with flying colors, I might add.”

“What does it fucking matter?” I scream. “I have no idea who I am or what kind of games you’re playing with me!”

“It’s not a game, Sten.” She shakes her head as she reaches for me. Her hand brushes my forearm, but I don’t feel any calmer. In fact, it angers me further.

I want to scream at her. I want to hold her close to me and prove to myself that she’s fine, she’s safe. The muscles in my trembling hands ache to grab the throats of my enemies and throttle the life out of them for threatening her.

There was no threat.

Too much information surges through my head. Whatever battle-mode I was in is still active, and I don’t know how to turn it off. The need for violence is so great, I can’t hold it back.