Luffs (Transcendence 1.5)

I close my eyes as our lips meet and pause the combing as I lose myself in the sensation of his lips on mine. I can feel the kiss in my stomach and also a little lower. I run my hand over his arm and feel the wound there, the aftermath of a pig that came after me. Ehd saved me from it, and it is now cooking in our stew.

After Ehd killed the boar, he had grabbed me and torn off my jeans. He had been so frantic, and I didn’t understand it at the time, but I think I do now. He was so terrified of me being hurt that he wanted to be inside of me. For a moment, he’d lost himself, but when I said no, he stopped.

I touch his lips with my tongue and feel his mouth open slightly.

I almost wish he hadn’t stopped. I wish I had remained quiet and let him do exactly what he wanted. Even now, I remember the feeling of him kneeling behind me. I remember the heat from his body between my legs as he tore my jeans and panties off.

I pull back and tense to keep my body from shuddering at the sensations running through me.

“I think a little cleanup is in order before dinner.” I clear my throat and grab some warm water and a piece of leather from near the fire. “We have to make sure that scratch doesn’t get infected.”

I carefully wash the scratch on Ehd’s arm and then both of our hands.

Washing does nothing to alleviate the pressure between my legs. I can still feel his lips against mine even though it has been a few minutes. I still remember his warmth from before. I try to distract myself by placing the stew for us to eat in bowls, but all I can think about is touching him some more.

I want him to try again. I want him to take me back to the fur-lined bed in the back of the cave. I don’t want to say no this time.

“I know what you want,” I whisper. “It’s not that I don’t want it, but Ehd…I just can’t risk getting pregnant here.”

The fact is, even though the idea of getting pregnant is terrifying, I want to have sex with Ehd. I can’t stop thinking about it now. I want to know what it really feels like to have him inside of me, but I don’t want to get pregnant. I wonder if there are some other activities we can do and what he would think about something more prudent.

As thoughts form in my head, I wonder how I’m going to convince him to try something more than kissing but less than sex.

I bite my lip, take a bowl of the stew, and slowly lower myself into Ehd’s lap. He stares up at me with his clear, inquiring eyes as I blow on the food to cool it. I take a piece of driftwood and scoop up some of the stew before placing it into my mouth, never losing eye contact with him.

Ehd watches closely as I lick the end of my makeshift spoon, dip it back into the bowl, and then offer him a bite. His eyes narrow slightly but not in confusion. I hear his breathing increase as my own heart starts to pound in my chest. I shift slightly in his lap and feel something long and firm between my legs.

I swallow hard and continue, going back and forth between us as the stew disappears.

Discarding the bowl, I run my hands up his arms and feel goosebumps rise. Ehd shrugs his shoulders, and the fur wrap around him drops to the ground, exposing his chest, and I feel my cheeks warm.

I run my fingertip over one of his nipples, and he gasps and shudders under my touch. Otherwise, my caveman stays perfectly still as I touch him, caressing his skin in a completely new way for us both.

Ehd suddenly grasps my hips, pulling me down against him. If there was any doubt about what I was feeling down there before, there isn’t now. His cock is hard, and I can feel it throbbing.

I press my mouth to his and slip my tongue between his lips. Ehd’s fingers dig into my sides as he holds me against him. I can feel him push up slightly, and I break away to take a breath. I run my fingers over his beard again as he looks up at me, expectant and wanting.

“I know,” I say softly. “I think I have a pretty decent alternative in mind, but you’re going to have to let me take the lead. Do you think you can do that?”

Of course, I get no response. I sigh and press my forehead to his for a moment. Ehd arches his hips, and I feel his length right there.

“Oh, Ehd.” I take a long, slow breath.

“Beh,..khhhz?”

I brush my lips against his once more, but the pressure between my legs is too much. All I can think about is just letting him do whatever he wants, and I know what that could mean. I climb off his lap and try to ignore his look of total rejection as I fiddle with the stew and then start to pace around the cave.

“I don’t know, Ehd,” I say. “I don’t even know what I think of all of this. I never considered being celibate all my life, and it’s clear I’m going to be spending my life—my whole life—here with you. At some point…well, it’s only natural, right?”

I tug at my hair in frustration.

“This is so stupid! I shouldn’t even be thinking about this!”

I glance back at Ehd as he stands. For a moment, I just look at him, evaluating him like my friends and I used to do over movie stars in a magazine. He’s beyond handsome. He’s muscular and warm and the sweetest man I have ever encountered.

And I want him.

As if in response to my thoughts, Ehd pulls at the loincloth around his waist and lets it drop to the floor.