Offside

“Would you do something for me?” Gardner asked me.

“What is it?”

“Before I come back, would you, um, maybe think about doing a few sketches? I’d really like to see them.”

My heart started pounding in my chest a little as I looked down to my hands in my lap. I just stared at them and thought about all the times I tried to show my drawings to Dad. While I lost myself, Nicole covered my hand with hers to get my attention.

“Thomas?”

I looked over to her and then back up at Gardner.

“Yeah,” I finally said, “I can do that.”

He smiled and nodded before backing away from the car so Nicole could pull out and take us home. We drove in relative silence though I did tell her about the inheritance money and what Gardner had told me about my mother. She freaked out a little over the money thing but not as much as I thought she would. Mostly, my mind kept coming back to sketching, and I wondered if I’d really have the nerve to show Gardner anything I had drawn. I just wasn’t sure though I did feel pretty relaxed after talking to him for a while.

Nicole got us back home, and she and Greg started going over their plans for the rest of the week, which mostly involved Greg working nights so Nicole could go to school. They didn’t want me left alone though I told them I didn’t need a fucking babysitter. Regardless, they were talking about doing all this shit that was going to cost a lot of money, and I was about as pissed off as I could be about the whole thing. I knew I was going to have to change the arrangement, and they were both going to be really, really pissed.

I was pissed, too.

Except, when I wheeled myself out of the kitchen and went to my tiny not-quite-a-room, I still had this smile on my face that wouldn’t go away. Everything was clicking with me, and I knew this was exactly how families were supposed to act. Between Nicole and Greg, I still had as much family as I had ever had before.

I had the feeling Gardner would someday feel like family to me, too. Shakespeare once said, “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin,” and I couldn’t argue with that.

But first, it was time to face some harsh realities.

I asked Nicole and Greg both to come into the living room to talk to me after dinner. Greg was in his chair, and Nicole was sitting on the couch. I sat in my wheelchair between them.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” Nicole asked.

r /> I kind of figured this was going to be her reaction.

“I talked to Danielle this morning,” I told Nicole. “It makes sense for me to go back to the rehab center for a while. You and Greg shouldn’t have to look after me so much. He’s got work, and you have school—”

“That’s bullshit! I want to do it, Thomas!”

She was getting choked up, like I figured she would, but there just wasn’t any easy way to bring this up.

“I…I know you do…” I stammered. I looked over to Greg, honestly hoping he’d see reason here.

He shook his head at me.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” he said. “We can get you to rehab when you need to go, and—”

“No, Greg,” I said. “I have to…to do whatever I can to recover as much as possible. I need to figure out what my life is like now, who I am, who I want to be…and I can’t do that here. You know I appreciate what you’ve done, but I’ll make more progress at the center.”

“Danielle can come here,” Nicole said.

“Rumple, baby,” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “There isn’t enough room here for all the equipment.”

“What about…at your house?”

“I don’t want to go back there,” I said quietly. “I think I might just want to sell it.”

“Then sell it!” she cried. “But that doesn’t mean you have to leave! I just got you back, dammit!”

“Nicole—” Greg and I said in unison.

I let him continue.