Forever Winter

“Thanks,” she says as she picks up the fork and starts to eat. I pull my chair closer to her. I can’t stop myself from reaching out and brushing some of her hair off her shoulder then playing with it between my fingers. It’s so soft like the rest of her.

She looks over at me. I’m used to people looking at me like I’ve lost it, but I don’t care. I can’t stop touching her. “Everything about you is so soft. I can’t help myself,” I admit. I watch a touch of pink light up her cheeks.

The shyness still hangs to her. I’d thought she was a virgin the night I took her. When I’d realized it had been too late. We’d been beyond the point of no return. Now I wonder if I’d read it wrong. Had she been with brother before then?

“I was your first?” I ask. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I’ve always been that way. When I want the answer to something, I get it.

The fork that is almost to her mouth pauses. She glances over at me. I still have a piece of her hair between my fingers.

“Yes.”

“It makes me a bastard how much I enjoy hearing you say that,” I tell her. Leaning in, I brush my mouth against her ear. “I’ll be your last too.” I tell her before I nip at her ear. She lets out a sound between a moan and a gasp. “Eat. You and our baby need to stay fully fed. You can consider that my new work obsession. You.” I kiss her below her ear before finally pulling back and letting her go. I have to stop touching her or I won’t end up letting her eat. I don’t back my chair away though. This is as far as I can bring myself to part with her.

Chapter 8

Winter

“You look tired,” Robert says as he takes my empty plate. I still can’t believe I ate that giant piece of chocolate cake he’d put in front of me on top of the pile of pasta. I’d even told him there was no way I could eat anything after I’d eaten the pasta, but he insisted. Paired with a glass of cold milk, I’d been done for.

“Pretty sure that’s a nice way of telling a girl she looks like hell.”

“I doubt you’ve ever looked like hell, angel.” He shakes his head at me as he comes around the counter. He puts one hand on the counter the other on the back of my chair, caging me. He leans in and I tilt my head back naturally, as if we’ve done it a thousand times before.

He licks the seam of my mouth and I open for him as he deepens the kiss. The hands that were caging me in mold to my face and he holds me like I’m the most delicate, breakable thing he’s ever had in his hands. It makes my heart clench and my eyes sting with tears. I have to fight them, telling myself that it’s pregnancy hormones and that I’m not falling head over heels in love with a man I don’t know. Or maybe I’m already there. I’ve been asking myself for these past months we’ve been apart if love at first sight is real. That’s also why I thought agreeing to marry Cory, even if just temporarily, felt so wrong.

When he pulls back, he smiles down at me. “While I do love the taste of chocolate on your lips, I still like your taste more.”

“Why didn’t you come back?” I blurt out. He’s being too sweet. It’s all too much. I’m going to fall in love with him if I’m not already. I feel my eyes fill with tears.

“Angel, don’t cry.” He leans down, putting his forehead to mine. “I did. You were gone.” I can actually hear the pain in his voice.

He lifts me from the chair, carrying me through the house. “You came back?” I repeat, still having a hard time believing it. It was easy to think I’d been abandoned.

“Yeah.” I stare into his dark eyes. I get lost for a moment wondering what the last four months would have been like if I’d waited a little longer. I was so sure he wasn’t coming back for me. It wasn’t the first time I’d been left. Maybe I’d let my own fears of being abandoned again, like my own parents had done to me, override everything else. Maybe I hadn’t been waiting that long at all, but every second just felt like eternity.

“I thought—”

He cuts me off. “I came back,” he says again, a little more forcefully this time. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“You have?” I whisper the words. I want them so badly to be true.

My back hits the bed as he comes over me and cages me in. “And you’re not going anywhere this time.” He starts pulling at my clothes.